“My body only fights off illness on Saturday and Sunday. I have a weekend immune system”
"Weakened immune system" shouldn't be confused with "weekend immune system," but there are jokes. "I'm intrigued by the 'weekend immune system'. Does…
“I don’t hate ALL of the periodic table. Just elements of it”
"I'm not familiar with the entire periodic table. Just elements of it" is a pun that was posted on Twitter by Sanjeev Kohli on February 21, 2012. "I don't hate ALL of the…
“Legality is a construct of the powerful, not of justice”
"Apartheid was legal. The Holocaust was legal. Slavery was legal. Colonialism was legal. Legality is a matter of power, not justice" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…
“If a homeless person makes something it’s not homemade”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/GameIvan46 April 22, 2020If a homeless person makes something it's not homemade
“I want to grow my own food, but I can’t find any bacon seeds”
"I want to grow my own food, but I can’t find any bacon seeds" -- bacon does not have seeds -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm trying to be…
“The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look”
"The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look" is a saying that has been printed on many images. People who leave the house usually take more showers, shave and dress up, among other…
“Nothing else will make you type slower other than your last password attempt”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- ShowerthoughtsPosted by u/pleple_128 April 22, 2020Nothing else will make you type slower other than your last password attempt.
“Animal lovers don’t eat animals”
"Animal lovers don't eat animals" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "If animal lovers don't eat animals, should plant lovers not eat plants??! I am…
“Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?”
"Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Is there ever a day when mattresses are NOT on sale?" was…
“Dog lovers don’t eat dogs. Cat lovers don’t eat cats. Animal lovers don’t eat animals”
"Animal lovers don't eat animals" is a vegan saying that has been printed on many images. "If animal lovers don't eat animals, should plant lovers not eat plants??! I am…
“Hope this virus gets resolved before tick season starts, or we’ll be dealing with Corona with Lyme”
Corona is a pale lager produced by Constellation Brands in Mexico for export to the United States. Corona is traditionally served with a wedge of lime or lemon in the neck of the bottle. In 2020,…
“The coronavirus vaccine is going to eliminate the coronavirus…”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic started a rush to find a vaccine. "The coronavirus vaccine is going to eliminate the coronavirus just like the flu vaccine eliminated the flu" was…
“Stop eating out, cook at home and you’ll lose weight. Quarantine determined that was a lie!”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many restaurants closing. Most people were forced to cook at home. "'Stop eating out. Cook at home and you’ll lose weight.'…
“Heat makes things expand. So I don’t have a weight problem, I’m just hot”
"Heat makes things expand. So I don't have a weight problem, I'm just hot" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. "Thought of the day: If heat makes things…
“If you can smell their fart, you’re not far enough apart” (social distancing)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic brought on social distancing suggestions. "If you can smell their fart, you're not far enough apart" is a message that was posted on a board of the…
“Yes. I’d like to report some people not living in fear”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic had some governments reward snitches -- reporting on people leaving their homes to go outside, people not social distancing six feet away, people not wearing face…
“Can we all agree to temporarily raise the bar for what’s considered an ‘alcoholic?’”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many liquor stores stay open as "essential businesses." Many people stayed in their homes and drank. "Can we all agree to temporarily raise the…
“We should all be allowed to commit a crime since we’ve technically already served the time”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. Maybe people felt as if they were under house arrest. "When isolation is over, we should all be allowed to commit one (1) crime…
“If a fart can get through underwear and a pair of jeans, how can a mask made of cloth save you?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in face mask requirements in some places. However, some people questioned the usefulness of face masks. "If a fart can get through underwear and a…
“Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic saw many states deem liquor stores to be essential businesses. Some people drank a lot. "Day 27: The garbage man stuck a pamphlet for AA on my recycling bin.…