“Don’t be a cunt”
"Tomorrow isn't promised. Be a cunt today" and "Don't be a cunt" are sayings that have been printed on many images. X/Twitter Kelsey @queenoftherad "Try not to be…
“In a world where you can be anything, don’t be a cunt”
"Tomorrow isn't promised. Be a cunt today" and "Don't be a cunt" are sayings that have been printed on many images. X/Twitter Kelsey @queenoftherad "Try not to be…
“Paper straws become an ingredient in your drink after you take 2 sips”
Many people believe that paper straws do a very poor job of the task they were designed to perform. After just a few sips, the straws often become soggy and sometimes break into the drink.…
“I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a corndog”
"I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a corndog" is a jocular saying that has been printed on T-shirts. A T-shirt was posted on X/Twitter by Terius FX on October 5,…
“I feel like ‘Autumn’ is just Fall’s stripper stage name”
"Autumn" can sound like a stripper name. "Thank you fall for occasionally going by the name autumn, just like my cousin megan who became a stripper" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Autumn is Fall’s stripper name”
"Autumn" can sound like a stripper name. "Thank you fall for occasionally going by the name autumn, just like my cousin megan who became a stripper" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Thank you, Autumn, for being Fall’s stripper name”
"Autumn" can sound like a stripper name. "Thank you fall for occasionally going by the name autumn, just like my cousin megan who became a stripper" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“So, the CIA can hack into my TV and listen to every word I say, but McDonald’s can’t hear me say ‘no pickles’...”
The McDonald's drive-thru sometimes gets an order wrong, and many people wonder why their speaker system isn't better. This was posted on Facebook by Matt Mitchell on March 9, 2017, and…
“A lobster didn’t give its life for you to drown it in butter”
Many people drown lobster in butter. Do they really love lobster, or do they love butter more? "God invented lobster to give us an excuse to eat melted butter!" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“You don’t love lobster. You love butter”
Many people drown lobster in butter. Do they really love lobster, or do they love butter more? "God invented lobster to give us an excuse to eat melted butter!" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Let’s cut the nonsense: You don’t love lobster. You love butter. If it was considered normal to ladle gallons of melted butter into your mouth…”
Many people drown lobster in butter. Do they really love lobster, or do they love butter more? "God invented lobster to give us an excuse to eat melted butter!" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Lobster is just an expensive excuse to eat melted butter”
Many people drown lobster in butter. Do they really love lobster, or do they love butter more? "God invented lobster to give us an excuse to eat melted butter!" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Lobster is just a very elaborate excuse to eat melted butter”
Many people drown lobster in butter. Do they really love lobster, or do they love butter more? "God invented lobster to give us an excuse to eat melted butter!" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Don’t expect me to stop if you’re broken down by the side of the road. You were offered an extended car warranty several times”
"Don’t expect me to stop if you’re broken down by the side of the road. You were offered an extended car warranty several times" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many…
“I was going to buy a car with a transparent steering wheel until someone told me to steer clear”
To "steer clear" means to stay away. It's doesn't mean to have a clear steering wheel, but there are jokes. "My friend said he was thinking of buying a car with a…
“Waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you’ve had a long day at 10am”
Many people wake up early to get more stuff done in a day, but they then get tired early, also. "waking up early is cool until it starts feeling like you've had a long day at…
“You turn 25 and you start experimenting with different settings on your washing machine and it’s really exciting”
Are you an adult when you start to explore different settings on household appliances? This joke was poste on X/Twitter by harky on October 4, 2025, and it received over 14,000 likes: "You…
“There should be an Autumn Olympics where the events are like, picking out a sweater and pointing out vibrant foliage”
There are Summer Olympic Games and Winter Olympic Games, but nothing for autumn. Many people have suggested events (jokingly) that could be in an Autumn Olympics, such as bobbing for apples,…
“What would be events in the Autumn Olympics? Leaf raking? Clothes layering?”
There are Summer Olympic Games and Winter Olympic Games, but nothing for autumn. Many people have suggested events (jokingly) that could be in an Autumn Olympics, such as bobbing for apples,…
“If there were an Autumn Olympics, it would consist of leaf raking and cold avoidance”
There are Summer Olympic Games and Winter Olympic Games, but nothing for autumn. Many people have suggested events (jokingly) that could be in an Autumn Olympics, such as bobbing for apples,…