“In tequila’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb stuff while completely sober, too”
"In alcohol's/beer's/tequila's defense, I've done some pretty dumb stuff while sober, too" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I've…
“Coronavirus porn is going viral on PornHub. What a bunch of sick fucks”
Pornhub is a Canadian-owned internet pornography website. A joke is that the website is for "sick fucks" -- the word "sick" meaning "twisted" or…
“Why is cow meat called beef, pig meat called pork, and chicken meat just called chicken?”
"I wonder why cow meat is called beef and pig meat is called pork when chicken meat is just called chicken.//ran out of ideas?" was posted on Twitter by Rachel Reinhardt on May 24, 2009.…
“What do you call a particularly shitty vegetable?”/“Pro-deuce.”
"Produce" sounds like "pro-deuce," and a pun is: "Fruits and vegetables prevent constipation. That's why they call it pro-deuce." "Deuce" means…
“Why do ambassadors never get sick?”/“They have diplomatic immunity.”
An ambassador riddle is: Q: Why do ambassadors never get sick?A: They have diplomatic immunity. "Why do ambassadors never get sick? Diplomatic immunity" was posted on the newsgroup…
“The truth is extreme. To make it moderate is to lie”
"The truth is extreme. To make it moderate is to lie" is a saying of somewhat uncertain origin. "RT @katedanaher: The truth is extreme. To make it moderate is to lie.…
“The closest some of us will ever get to heaven” (World Trade Center)
The World Trade Center was opened in 1973, and was destroyed during attacks on September 11, 2001. A 1980 promotion by the Port Authority of New York and New Jersey (the WTC owner) stated:…
“Remember when global banking cartels screwing over the world was a conspiracy theory?”
"Remember when global banking cartels screwing over the world was a conspiracy theory?" was posted on Twitter by Ricardo Nester, and later on Facebook by Constellation COC on April 24,…
“What’s an ideal name for a Vietnamese-Italian fusion restaurant?”/“Pho-geddaboudit.”
"WHY HAVEN'T I OPENED A VIETNAMESE/ITALIAN FUSION RESTAURANT CALLED "PHO-GEDDA 'BOUT IT"?!" was posted on Twitter by Lucia Fasano on June 18, 2014. The name is a…
“I got fired from my last job though I always gave 100%. Apparently that’s not how you mark exams”
Should one always give 100% (or 110%) at work? "I always give 110%. That's why I lost my job In the examination bored" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by Lewis Gardiner on…
“Bears invented honey glazed salmon”
Bears like honey, and they also like salmon. Did a bear invent honey glazed salmon? "Honey glazed salmon is the perfect meal for a bear" was posted on Twitter by tofurky on August 16,…
Phogeddaboudit (pho + fuhgeddaboudit)
"WHY HAVEN'T I OPENED A VIETNAMESE/ITALIAN FUSION RESTAURANT CALLED "PHO-GEDDA 'BOUT IT"?!" was posted on Twitter by Lucia Fasano on June 18, 2014. The name is a…
“Two types of people: People who think the government is looking out for their best interest…”
"There are two types of people in this world. People who think the government is looking out for their best interest, and people who think" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“Arroz by any other name would go well with enchiladas”
"Arroz" (the Spanish word for "rice") can sound like "a "rose." "A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" is a famous line from William…
“Roses are red. Bacon is savory. The U.S. tax code is legalized slavery”
A "Roses are red..." poem about the U.S. tax code is: "Roses are red, Bacon is savory,The U.S tax code is legalized slavery." The poem was posted on Twitter by Wade provan on…
“You might live in Texas if you shovel snow and need to mow your yard in the same week”
Many states have claimed bipolar weather. "Only in NorthEast PA do you shovel 9 inches of snow and mow your yard all in the same week. #fb" was posted on Twitter by Sean O'Donnell on…
“What’s something a drug dealer would never ask?”/“‘Is Pepsi okay?’”
Many diners ask for "coke" when they want a soda. If the establishment has Pepsi cola instead of Coca-Cola, a server usually asks, "Is Pepsi okay (as a substitute drink)?" Pepsi…
“We don’t need more cameras pointed at citizens. We need more cameras pointed at politicians”
"We don't need more cameras pointed at citizens. We need more cameras pointed at politicians" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "we don't need more cameras…
“What do you call a yam in a hotel?”/“A suite potato.”
"Sweet potato" shouldn't be confused with "suite potato," but there are jokes. "Q. What kind of potato rents more than one room in a hotel? A. A suite potato" was…
“Old slaves were in chains. New slaves are in denial”
"Old slaves were in chains. New slaves are in denial" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Old slaves were in chains, new slaves are in denial" was posted on…