“Life is better when there’s a pumpkin on the porch”
"Life is better when there are pumpkins on the porch" (also "Life is better when there's a pumpkin on the porch," "Life is better with pumpkins on the porch" and…
“Life is better with pumpkins on the porch”
"Life is better when there are pumpkins on the porch" (also "Life is better when there's a pumpkin on the porch," "Life is better with pumpkins on the porch" and…
“Life is better with a pumpkin on the porch”
"Life is better when there are pumpkins on the porch" (also "Life is better when there's a pumpkin on the porch," "Life is better with pumpkins on the porch" and…
“I phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two. The guy who answered said I had the wrong number so asked for a table for four instead”
A restaurant joke was posted on The Musings of Mark Haggan on a page from November 29, 2013 (it appears that the joke was added in 2017): "Phoned a restaurant and asked for a table for two.…
“That gas pedal hit different when leaving that work parking lot”
"That gas pedal hit different when leaving that work parking lot” (or "That gas pedal hit(s) different when you're leaving the work parking lot") is a saying that has been…
“The hardest thing about carving a pumpkin these days is finding a newspaper to spread out on the table”
Before carving a pumpkin, people usually had covered a table with old newspapers, but who has old newspapers in this digital age? This was posted on X/Twitter by Simon Holland on October 25, 2017:…
“The only thing getting lit this weekend are my fall scented candles”
"The only thing getting lit this weekend are my fall (scented) candles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people enjoy the scent of the fall season. "Getting…
“The only thing getting lit this weekend are my fall candles”
"The only thing getting lit this weekend are my fall (scented) candles" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people enjoy the scent of the fall season. "Getting…
“Everyone talks about orange being a color and a fruit, but nobody talks about peach for the same reason”
Orange is both a color and a fruit. However, an orange is not the only fruit that is also a color. This was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on May 23, 2019: "Everyone talks about orange…
“If I pay $40 for a haunted house, I better die”
Haunted houses can be expensive, and for the price being charged, they should be scary. "if i pay $40 for a haunted house, I better get stabbed foreal" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“Putting up the scariest decoration of all: a 𝑙𝑖𝑣𝑒 𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 sign”
So many people have put up "Live, Laugh, Love" signs in their homes that it has become clichéd. This Halloween joke was posted on X/Twitter meghan on October 19, 2024: "Putting up…
“If I pay $40 for a haunted house, I better get stabbed for real”
Haunted houses can be expensive, and for the price being charged, they should be scary. "if i pay $40 for a haunted house, I better get stabbed foreal" was posted on X/Twitter by…
“The person who invented bowling: “Oh and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes’”
Bowling alleys usually require bowling shoes to be worn. The infrequent bowler usually rents shoes from the alley. Other non-bowling shoes can damage the alley, or cause the bowler to slip and…
“Bowling shoes are kind of like farts. You’re proud of your own, but other people’s are kind of gross!”
Bowling alleys usually require bowling shoes to be worn. The infrequent bowler usually rents shoes from the alley. Other non-bowling shoes can damage the alley, or cause the bowler to slip and…
“You’re minding your own business and then one day BAM, coleslaw tastes good”
Coleslaw is a food that grownups usually enjoy more than teenagers. "You're minding your own business and then one day BAM, you start eating coleslaw" was posted on Facebook by Dan…
“Everybody wants to hear those 3 little words whispered to them. Biscuits and gravy”
"Everybody wants to hear those 3 little words whispered to them. Biscuits and gravy" is a food saying that has been printed on many images. The "three little words" usually have…
“For a generation that grew up on ‘don’t eat anything from strangers,’ we order food online too much”
Generations of children were instructed by their parents not to take food from strangers. However, the same children grew up to order food online. "For a generation that grew up on…
“Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?”/“Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!”
"Diamonds Are a Girl's Best Friend" is a song in the stage musical Gentleman Prefer Blondes (1949). In the movie version of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953), it was sung by Marilyn…
“It’s getting increasingly harder to tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of ambition”
"It's getting increasingly harder to tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen and pour myself a cup of ambition" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Tumble…
“I set my alarms extra early to make sure that I have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up”
People usually set an alarm extra earlier if they want to do something, but that's not always the case. "I set my alarms extra early to make sure that I have enough time to lay in bed and…