“I’m going to start being more assertive, if that’s OK with you”
"I'm going to be more assertive, if that's OK/okay with you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm going to start being more assertive if…
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“Due to personal reasons, I need more money”
"Due to personal reasons, I need..." is a meme. "Due to personal reasons, I need a hug" is one popular version of the meme. Another version involves money. "Due to personal…
“Due to personal reasons, I need money”
"Due to personal reasons, I need..." is a meme. "Due to personal reasons, I need a hug" is one popular version of the meme. Another version involves money. "Due to personal…
“There should be a ‘take your friend to work day’ so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories”
There is such a thing as "Take your daughter to work day," but why not a "Take your friend to work day"? "there should be a 'take your friend to work day' so we…
“I personally think it’s nice that we give tortilla chips a little window on the bag to look out of. I hope one day we can show our other chips the same kindness”
Many tortilla chips bags have little plastic windows so that a customer can see the chips, but potato chips bags usually do not have this window. This was posted on X/Twitter by Ron Iver on…
“Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is like having dating tips on a pair of Crocs”
"Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is like having dating tips on a box/pair of Crocs" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Cheetos is a snack food…
“Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is like having dating tips on a box of Crocs”
"Having nutrition information on a bag of Cheetos is like having dating tips on a box/pair of Crocs" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images. Cheetos is a snack food…
“I miss when ‘The News’ was just a guy in a suit telling you what happened, instead of a 24 hour panic machine…”
The television news in the 1960s used to be just a guy in a suit (such as American broadcast journalist Walter Cronkite). Today's news has obvious agendas. This was posted on X/Twitter…
“Hey kid, here’s some identification you’ll need for the rest of your life, but you’re not allowed to laminate it…”
Americans are supposed to keep the card with their Social Security number for their entire life. This sarcasm was posted on Reddit -- Mildlyinfuriating on March 8, 2024, and it received over 70,000…
“Day 1 of quarantine and I already ate all of the toilet paper and dog food I bought”
For an emergency (such as a hurricane), many people stock up on food and toilet paper. However, they often eat the food before the emergency event. Eating the toilet paper before the emergency…
“I love when dogs bring you a toy and then immediately decide you’re not allowed to have it”
Dogs often bring a toy, and then take it back. This was posted on Threads by tonygravix on October 2, 2026, and it received over 29,600 likes: "I love when dogs bring you a toy and then…
“Why does every recipe start with ‘Marry Me’ now?? Someone needs to post single serving versions of recipes and name them ‘Leave Me Alone Spaghetti’”
"Engagement Chicken" led to "Marry Me Chicken," and other similarly named recipes. A woman who cooks such a dish for a man will impress him so much that they become…
“The FDA has recalled the light in my eyes”
In 2026, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recalled many things, even lettuce. Some people felt like the joy in life was taken away. This was posted on Threads by breezebois on September…
“I can’t call someone a dumb fuck at work, so instead I say, ‘walk me through your thought process’”
It's not polite to insult coworkers and to call them stupid. "I can't call someone stupid at work, so I say 'walk me through your thought process'" was posted on…
“I can’t call someone stupid at work, so I say ‘walk me through your thought process’”
It's not polite to insult coworkers and to call them stupid. "I can't call someone stupid at work, so I say 'walk me through your thought process'" was posted on…
Pandemitard (pandemic + retard)
"Pandemitard" is a portmanteau of the words "pandemic" and "retard." A pandemitard overreacts to pandemic information in the news, and overprepares and panics. The…
“Don’t be a pandemitard. Walk away from the fake pandemic conversation. Not every cluster is the next apocalypse. Know the facts. Touch grass. Move on”
"Pandemitard" is a portmanteau of the words "pandemic" and "retard." A pandemitard overreacts to pandemic information in the news, and overprepares and panics. The…
“The first 2 hours at work really just be me accepting the fact that I’m at work”
The first few hours of work can be a difficult adjustment. This was posted on X/Twitter by H O N E Y on September 28, 2026, and it received over 66,000 likes: "the first 2 hours at work really…
“I need somebody to care about me the way Gmail cares when I log in from a new device”
Many online services alert: “Someone has signed into your account!” Often, it’s just the user signing on from a different device. "Find someone who cares about you as much as gmail cares…
“Find someone who cares about you as much as Google cares about new devices signing into your account”
Many online services alert: “Someone has signed into your account!” Often, it’s just the user signing on from a different device. "Find someone who cares about you as much as gmail cares…