“I wear my T-shirt to bed because my coffee shirt keeps me awake”
T-shirts have nothing to do with tea, but there are jokes. "I wear my T-shirt to bed because my coffee shirt keeps me awake" was posted on Twitter by Broken Puppet on March 13, 2020.…
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“Thieves who stole 3 tons of tarmac have been hiding. Police are hoping they will resurface soon”
"Thieves who stole 3 ton of tarmac have been in hiding for 2 months now. A police spokesman said 'We are hoping they will resurface soon'" was posted on Twitter by 🤘⸸…
“Oven preheat minutes are longer than microwave minutes”
Preheating an oven might take 12-15 minutes. To many people, these minutes seem long. "Idk about y'all, but I think oven preheat minutes are longer than microwave minutes..." was…
“Preheat minutes are longer than regular minutes”
Preheating an oven might take 12-15 minutes. To many people, these minutes seem long. "Idk about y'all, but I think oven preheat minutes are longer than microwave minutes..." was…
“What if the daylight didn’t want to be saved?”
There is daylight saving time (DST), but no one asked daylight its feelings in the matter. "What if the daylight didn't want to be saved?" was posted on Twitter by Jackie M. Briski…
“What if daylight didn’t want to be saved?”
There is daylight saving time (DST), but no one asked daylight its feelings in the matter. "What if the daylight didn't want to be saved?" was posted on Twitter by Jackie M. Briski…
“Daylight didn’t ask to be saved. Daylight didn’t want to be saved”
There is daylight saving time (DST), but no one asked daylight its feelings in the matter. "What if the daylight didn't want to be saved?" was posted on Twitter by Jackie M. Briski…
“My wife asked why I carry a gun around the house. I told her: fear of CIA. She laughed…”
A joke about home surveillance was posted on Twitter by Ron Futrell on March 7, 2017, and received over 23,700 likes: "My wife asked why I carried a gun around the house. I told her:fear of…
“I’m allergic to writing about fencing, so I’ll have to use my épée pen”
An épée has nothing to do with an EpiPen, but there are jokes. "or where he keeps his fencing equipment: The epee pen" was posted on Twitter by Kenneth Baer on September 19, 2016.…
“Why is it so hard to insult a communist?”/“They never take things personally.”
A communism riddle was posted on Reddit -- 3amjokes on March 12, 2023: Q: Why is it so hard to insult a communist?A: They never take things personally. Reddit -- 3amjokesPosted by u/Fernelz March…
“Apparently, the clocks go back in November. I can’t remember where I got mine from!”
Clocks are turned back one hour "Spring forward, fall back") in autumn. The clocks don't "go back" (that is, back to the store), but there are jokes. "I would really…
“School and microwave minutes are longer than regular minutes”
"School minutes are longer than regular minutes" is a saying popular with students who can't wait to get out of school. "It seems as though school minutes are 269 seconds rather…
“Watching people cling to the 2-party system is like witnessing the victim of a toxic relationship”
Many American do not believe in the two-party political system (Democrats and Republicans). "Watching people cling to the two party system is like witnessing the victim of a toxic…
“My girlfriend asked why I carry a gun around the house? I told her it was the Decepticons…”
A joke about surveillance was posted on Twitter by Joe Mama on April 23, 2014, and has been printed on many images: "My girlfriend asked me last night why I carry my gun around the house, what…
“I’m not far right. I’m just right so far”
"I'm not far right. I'm just right so far" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "Not far right - just Right So Far 😉" was posted on Twitter…
“Not far right. Just right so far”
"I'm not far right. I'm just right so far" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. "Not far right - just Right So Far 😉" was posted on Twitter…
“It’s not a bailout unless it comes from the Baile region of France…”
"Champagne" is sometimes used as a generic term for sparkling wine, but legally, it must come from the Champagne wine region of France. A financial version of the popular meme involves…
“If you can’t trust people to govern themselves, how can you trust them to govern others?”
"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he then be trusted with the government of others?" was said by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) at his…
“If people can’t be trusted to govern themselves, how can they be trusted to govern others?”
"Sometimes it is said that man cannot be trusted with the government of himself. Can he then be trusted with the government of others?" was said by Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826) at his…
“It is time for many people to be arrested suddenly”
"It is time for many people to be arrested suddenly" (or "It's time for many people to be arrested suddenly") is a saying that has been printed on many images. The COVID-19…