“I bought powdered water, but I don’t know what to add to it”
"Just add water" is a popular direction on simple recipes or product instructions. "I bought powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it" is a joke that has been…
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“A modern bar mitzvah is more ‘bar’ than ‘mitzvah’”
A Bar Mitzvah is a Jewish coming of age ceremony. In the United States, the religious part is often followed by a big party (that includes a bar). The joke that the modern Bar Mitzvah is "more…
“In boxing, you fight over a belt and a purse”
Boxing between two men can have its less than manly moments. The two men are half-naked, wear silk shorts, and fight over a belt and a purse. American actor and writer John McGivern might have…
“Do you have a golden lawyer?” (lawyer joke)
The joke about the "golden rat" has been told since at least 1994. The punchline usually involves a lawyer, but some versions substitute "liberal" or "Republican."…
“Instagram would’ve been a great name for a cocaine delivery service”
Instagram is an online photo-sharing, video-sharing and social networking service that was founded in October 2010. There immediately was a popular joke about the name. "Instagram? Sounds like…
Tragic Number
A "magic number" is the combination of team wins and a contending team's losses that will clinch a playoff spot or title. A "tragic number" is the opposite -- a combination…
Magic Number
A "magic number" is the combination of team wins and a contending team's losses that will clinch a playoff spot or title. A "tragic number" is the opposite -- a combination…
“PE doesn’t stand for physical education, it stands for public embarrassment”
"PE" stands for "physical education," but to some, it stands for "public embarrassment." "'For millions of students, P.E. stands for Public…
Hold On Pain Ends (“hope” backronym)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterStarboyNathan@StarboyNathanA wise man once said hope stands for Hold On Pain Ends -5:37 AM - 17 Sep 13
“If you could beat me, I would know you” (chess saying)
A popular chess story involves chess champion José Raúl Capablanca (1888-1943). A player asked Capablanca to play a game, and Capablance was about to give him queen odds. "Hey! You…
H2NO (H2O/water + no)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterBeingfamous@bngfmsnews[SFC] H2No: Calif officials urge water conservation: State officials reported a smaller Sierra snowpack tha.. http://tinyurl.com/dz46ut3:48…
“The people have spoken…and they must be punished”
New York City Mayor Ed Koch (1924-2013) lost the 1989 Democratic primary to David Dinkins. Many people didn't like Dinkins as mayor; wherever Koch appeared, people would ask if he'd run…
“Conservatives think liberals are stupid; liberals think conservatives are evil” (Krauthammer’s Law)
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: Charles KrauthammerCharles Krauthammer (/ˈkraʊt.hæmər/; born March 13, 1950) is an American Pulitzer Prize-winning syndicated columnist, political…
United Nuts (United Nations nickname)
Entry in progress -- B.P.Other Untied Nations nicknames include "United Nazis" and "Useless Nations." Wikipedia: United NationsThe United Nations (UN; French: Organisation des…
“Too poor to paint and too proud to whitewash”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Wikipedia: WhitewashWhitewash, or calcimine, kalsomine, calsomine, or lime paint is a low-cost type of paint made from slaked lime (calcium hydroxide) and chalk (whiting).…
Treadmill of Mediocrity (Mediocrity Treadmill)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterJonathan Givony@DraftExpressPritchard: Treadmill of mediocrity- Getting 8th seed in NBA playoffs year after year. #ssac12:41 PM - 4 Mar 11 ESPNMark Cuban hopes…
“Great teams don’t rebuild—they reload”
College football and basketball teams suffer graduation losses, but the great sports programs have great recruiting. "Great teams don't rebuild -- they reload" is a common saying.…
Ballotocracy (ballot + -ocracy)
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterAlfred Raouf@Kemety@AmrEzzat I'm writing a blog called ballotocracy :D4:33 PM - 8 Mar 13 TwitterShadi Hamid@shadihamidSome have taken to dismissing…
“You cannot get the water to clear up until you get the pigs out of the creek”
Entry in progress -- B.P. Journal Courier (Jacksonville, IL)Jan. 21 Open LinePosted: Saturday, January 21, 2012 12:00 am | Updated: 10:41 am, Sat Sep 1, 2012Obama must go so this nation can get…
Foodstagram (food + Instagram)
Entry in progress -- B.P. MashableDeath of Foodstagram? Restaurants Ban Customers From Taking Food PicsBY STAN SCHROEDERJAN 24, 2013Some restaurants have started banning customers from taking…