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A restaurant version of the lightbulb joke is: Q: How many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Five. One to screw it in and four to tell you how they did it at their last restaurant. The…
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A physics version is: "A bar walks into a man. Oops! Wrong frame of reference."…
"When they go low, you go high" is a political philosophy that was said by U.S. President Barack Obama and popularized in speeches by First Lady Michelle Obama. The first lady went on…
Arthur Bloch's Murphy's Law Book Three: Wrong Reasons Why Things Go More! (1982) included: "Kennedy's Comment on CommitteesA committee is twelve people doing the work of…
American science-fiction writer Robert A. Heinlein wrote in Time Enough for Love: The Lives of Lazarus Long (1973): "A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain." The…
"I.O.U.S.A." (IOU + USA) was printed in an income tax poem by an anonymous author that appeared in several newspapers since 1952: "Income tax is almost due,And this makes me,…
Australian-born actor Errol Flynn (1909-1959) was one of Hollywood's highest-paid stars in the 1940s; in the 1950s, however, he faced financial disaster. A Flynn quote was published in many…
"Death and taxes" are often said to be the only certainties in life. There's a joke: Q: What is the definition of Death?A: When you stop paying taxes suddenly. The joke has been…
Cheez Whiz (often misspelled as Cheese Whiz or Cheese Wiz) is a processed cheese sauce and the subject of a popular food pun: Q: What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz?A: Cheese was.…
Frank Wisner (1909-1965) the Central Intelligence Agency's deputy director, was responsible for Operation Mockingbird in the 1950s to spread propaganda through the media. He boasted that the…
A rug lies on the floor. Someone who "lies like a rug" is someone who always lies (or prevaricates). The saying is frequently applied to politicians who don't tell the truth.…
"I am terrified of elevators. I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them" is an elevator pun that has been printed on many images. "In fact, I'm so opposed to space…
Managers often make to-do lists. A joke was posted on Twitter on April 9, 2016: "My friend just used my to-do list to roll a joint... He's high on my list of priorities." "My…
Some people find spiders in their homes, but don't like to kill the spiders -- preferring to grab a spider and let it go free outside the house. A joke has been printed on many images:…
The word "crustacean" has been the subject of a pun: Q: What do you call a Chinese crab?A: A crust-asian. "What do u call a chinese crab? A crustasian" was posted on Twitter on…
New York (NY) Times food journalist Craig Claiborne (1920-2000) wrote on November 16, 1967: "The Adrian Zorgniottis agree with G. K. Chesterton, who told a friend, 'Music with dinner is…
"Never put Nutella on salmon or you'll get Salmonella" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke Nutella recipe for "Salmonella" was printed on the…
"Wisdom is knowing what to do next, skill is knowing how to do it, and virtue is doing it" is a quotation from Stanford University President David Starr Jordan (1851-1931) that has been…
"I don't need to 'get a life.' I'm a gamer. I have lots of lives" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "Get a life!" is a line…
A popular bingo joke is: Q: How do you get a grandmother to swear?A: Have another grandmother say "Bingo!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups:…