“If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed”
"If you eat it in the car before you get home, it never existed" is a jocular one-line saying about take-home food that has been printed on an ecard. "Yeah but if you eat ur whole…
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“I finally got an A on my essay! (Only 1999 more words to go)”
Getting an "A" on an essay is great -- if that stands for a letter grade. "I have an A on my essay. only 6999 more words to go!" was posted on Twitter on November 12, 2015.…
“What do you say to a leprechaun?”/“How’s the weather down there?”
"How's the weather up there?" is a jocular line said to a tall person. A leprechaun version has been cited in print since at least 2001: Q: What did the leprechaun say to the elf? A:…
“What did one Irish ghost say to the other?”/“Top o’ the moaning!”
"Top of the morning!" is a morning greeting. A St. Patrick's Day riddle is: Q: What did one Irish ghost say to the other?A: "Top of the moaning!" The joke has been cited in…
“I think my math teacher works for the CIA. He always wants to put radicals in isolation”
A math joke about "radicals" is: "I think my math teacher works for the CIA. He always wants to put radicals in isolation." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on March 11,…
“Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?”/“They’re very short-tempered!”
A leprechaun riddle is: Q: Why are leprechauns so hard to get along with?A: They're very short=tempered! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk (June 23, 2001)…
“How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?”/“He’s Dublin over with laughter!”
A popular St. Patrick's Day riddle is: Q: How can you tell if an Irishman is having a good time?A: He's Dublin (doubling) over with laughter! The joke has been cited in print since at…
“Why do you Irish always answer a question with a question?”/“Do we, now?”
New York Irish joke is: New York Governor Franklin Delano Roosevelt (1882-1945): Why do you Irish always answer a question with question?New York City Mayor James J. Walker (1881-1946): Do we. now?…
“What kind of bow can’t be tied?”/“A rainbow.”
A rainbow riddle is: Q: What kind of bow can't be tied?A: A rainbow. The riddle has been cited in print since at least 1943 and is popular on St. Patrick's Day. The riddle has been…
“Do leprechauns make good secretaries?”/“Sure, they’re great at shorthand!”
A leprechaun joke is: Q: Do leprechauns make good secretaries?A: Sure, they're great at shorthand! The "shorthand" pun has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk…
“Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?”/“To keep from falling in the stew!”
A popular St. Patrick's Day riddle is: Q: Why did the leprechaun stand on the potato?A: To keep from falling in the stew! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk…
“Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick’s Day?”/“Regular rocks are too heavy.”
A popular St. Patrick's Day shamrock riddle is: Q: Why do people wear shamrocks on St. Patrick's Day?A: Regular rocks are too heavy. "Why do people wear shamrocks on St.…
“Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?”/“In the Little League.”
A St. Patrick's Day leprechaun riddle is: Q: Where would you find a leprechaun baseball team?A: In the Little League. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Wikipedia: Little…
“Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?”/“He couldn’t afford plane fare.”
A St. Patrick's Day riddle is: Q: Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland?A: He couldn't afford plane fare. The joke was posted to the newsgroup alt.personals.ads on March…
“When is an Irish potato not an Irish potato?”/“When it’s a FRENCH fry!”
An Irish potato riddle is: Q: When is an Irish potato not an Irish Potato?A: When it's a FRENCH fry! The joke has been cited in print since at least 2003. Google BooksLet's Celebrate St.…
“What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?”/“A leper-con.”
An Irish pun popular on St. Patrick's Day is: Q: What do you call a diseased Irish criminal?A: A leper-con (leprechaun). The "leper-con" joke has been cited in print since at least…
One Chatham Square (beef stew)
"One Chatham Square" was old New York City restaurant slang for "beef stew." The term was first cited in an 1888 newspaper, reporting on the strange orders at a restaurant on…
“What do leprechauns love to barbecue?”/“Short ribs.”
A popular St. Patrick's Day leprechaun riddle is: Q: What do leprechauns love to barbecue?A: Short ribs. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Kidsjokes.co.uk (June 23, 2001)…
“When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it”
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" is an old saying from the early 1900s. "When life gives you lemons, make orange juice and leave the world wondering how you did it"…
“I might just take you out for pizza if you play your carbs right”
"I might just take you out for pizza if you play your carbs right" (a pun on "play your cards right") is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images.…