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Lawyers have a reputation for stretching the truth (lying). An old joke has it that when a lawyer goes to bed, he lies on his right side and then he lies on his left side, and when he dies he lies…
A pun about Fender guitars is: "A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection. 'First offender?' asks the judge. 'No,' says the woman.…
A pun on the word "crust" is: Q: What did the apple say to the apple pie?A: "You've got some crust." "Crust" means also "nerve." The food riddle has…
Are teachers boring? One pun is: Q: Why didn't the piglets listen to the teacher pig?A: Because he was an old boar. "Why wouldn't the piglets listen to their father? Because he was…
A riddle about a string instrument (such as a violin or a viola) is: Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?A: The bow is moving. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992.…
"Castanet" (a percussion instrument) has nothing to do with fishing, but the "cast-a-net" pun was used in the New York (NY) Daily Tribune in 1850. "With what musical…
"When poison expires, does it become more poisonous or less poisonous?" is a question that has been printed on several images. Poison is bad for you, so what exactly happens when it goes…
Some people marry for money, but there's a jocular twist to this. "I wanted to remarry my Ex-wife but she refused and she said I was only after my money" was posted on Twitter on…
A barbecue joke is: Q: Why can't Chinese barbecue?A: Because the rice falls through the grill. The joke -- sometimes regarded as offensive -- has been cited in print since at least 2007.…
A joke about milking a cow is: CAMPER: Is it easy to milk a cow? FARMER: Sure it is. Any jerk can do it. The "jerk" pun has been cited in print since at least 1970. 26 June 1970, Morning…
To "spill the beans" means to reveal a secret. A food pun is: "I used to be a member of the secret cooking society. They kicked me out for spilling the beans." "I got fired…
"Streaky bacon" has nothing to do with streaking, but there's a riddle: Q: What do you call a pig with no clothes on?A: Streaky bacon. The joke has been cited in print since at least…
"Scrabble: It’s all fun and games until someone loses an ‘I’" -- a pun on "loses an eye" -- is a jocular saying about the Scrabble word game that has been printed on many…
“Monday must be a man. It comes too quickly” is a jocular work saying. "Friday must be a woman. It takes forever to come" is a related saying that has been printed on several images.…
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular saying is: "Science built…
A riddle about money is: Q: How did rich people get their money?A: They were calm and collected. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy…
"When a man opens the car door for his wife, either the car is new or the wife is" is a jocular line that has been printed on many images. The saying has been cited in print since at…
Jokes about the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks on New York City's World Trade Center are numerous, although not politically correct. One popular saying is: "Science built…
“What is a cannibal?"/"Someone who is fed up with people" is a classic joke from the 1940s. A variation of the riddle is: Q: Why did the cannibal live on his own?A: He was fed up…
"I spend a lot of time holding the refrigerator door open looking for the answer" is a one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter by Andy…