“Life is a soup and I’m a fork”
"Life is a soup and I'm a (fucking) fork" -- a utensil useless for drinking soup -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The song "(I'm Gonna) Kick You…
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“I must get up. My coffee needs me”
"I must get up. My coffee needs me" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I should get up. My coffee needs me" was posted on Twitter on February 24,…
Veganuary (vegan + January)
"Veganuary" (vegan + January), pronounced "vee-gan-uary," is a pledge to eat vegan for the month of January. "Veganuary" was posted on Twitter on November 22, 2009.…
“It was so cold that Dunkin’ Donuts was serving coffee on a stick”
Coffee is usually -- but not always -- served hot. A winter joke is: "It was so cold that Dunkin' Donuts (or Starbucks or a local coffeehouse) was serving coffee on a stick."…
“It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus drive by and the dog was on the inside”
A Greyhound bus usually has an illustration of a greyhound dog on the outside. "I didn't know it was this cold in Cleveland. I saw a Greyhound bus, the dog was on the inside," Cedric…
“Someone should rewrite the history books to refer to ancient spice traders as thyme travelers”
"Herb traders are thyme travelers" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter by Glenn Fleishman on March 7, 2016. A similar saying was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts…
“What is the healthiest kind of water?”/“Well water.”
A water riddle is: Q: What is the healthiest kind of water? A: Well water. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Google BooksBiggest Riddle Book in the WorldBy Joseph…
“It was so cold that I saw a Greyhound bus drive by and the dog was on the inside”
A Greyhound bus usually has an illustration of a greyhound dog on the outside. "I didn't know it was this cold in Cleveland. I saw a Greyhound bus, the dog was on the inside," Cedric…
“Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except for abortion jokes. There is no delivery”
It's often said that comedy depends on the delivery. "Anything can be funny if there is a right delivery, except abortion jokes as they have no delivery" is a dark joke that was…
“It was so cold that Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick”
Coffee is usually -- but not always -- served hot. A winter joke is: "It was so cold that Dunkin' Donuts (or Starbucks or a local coffeehouse) was serving coffee on a stick."…
“Why do chicken coops only have 2 doors?”/“Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans.”
A chicken riddle has been printed on several images: Q: Why do a chicken coops have only two doors?A: Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans. The pun is on the homophones…
“The #MeToo movement is supposed to be empowering, but why PoundMeToo?”
"#MeToo" became popular on social media in October 2017, as a response to several high-profile sexual assault and harassment allegations in the United States. "Someone I work with…
Hocto Dog or Hoctodog (octopus hot dog)
A "hocto dog" or "hoctodog" is an octopus hot dog. "Hoctodog" has been cited in print since at least 2007, when it described a hot dog cut into strips to resemble an…
“What’s the opposite of a fish out of water?”/“A fish in sea.”
"A fish in sea" sounds like the word "efficiency." There have been several puns and riddles. "Efficiency (A Fish In Sea), a film about a man's preoccupation with…
“Diet books are popular because they appeal to a wide audience”
"Diet books appeal to a wide audience" is a jocular one-line saying that was posted on Twitter on April 22, 2010. "Books on dieting usually appeal to a wide audience.…
“What do you call it when two chips fall in love?”/“A relation-dip.”
"Two potato chips are in a relationdip" -- a pun on "relationship" -- was posted on Twitter on April 16, 2013. A riddle was posted on Twitter on August 18, 2017: Q: What do you…
“What does a blind man use to ski?”/“A skiing eye dog.”
"If blind people have seeing eye dogs, do blind skiers have skiing eye dogs?" is a question that was posted on Twitter on July 18, 2014. ""In blind school they didn't say…
“What’s Darth Vader’s favorite Canadian dish?”/“Palpoutine.”
The Star Wars film character of Emperor Palpatine has nothing to do with the Canadian dish of poutine, but there have been several puns. "The Canadian Emperor's name is Pal Poutine"…
“What if tinfoil producers create conspiracies so people buy their tinfoil?”
"Tin foil hat" has become a stereotype for a conspiracy theorist. A joke was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on January 4, 2018: "What if tinfoil producers create conspiracies so…
“My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV”
"My wife and I watched three movies back to back. Luckily, I was the one facing the TV" is a joke that has been printed on many images. English comedian Milton Jones has told the joke…