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Many computer users get impatient waiting for downloads. A joke was posted on Twitter by Verifried Drunk on July 24, 2011: "The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left…
A math riddle is: Q: What is a math teacher's favorite sum?A: Summer. That is, when there is no school (summer). The joke was posted on Twitter on February 29, 2012. Twitter Kevin “K-Ship”…
A "(web)site for sore eyes" is a pun on the expression of a "sight for sore eyes." English comedian Tim Vine has been credited with this joke since at least 2009:…
"Hasta la vista, baby" is a famous line that actor Arnold Schwarzenegger used in the film Terminator 2: Judgment Day. A holiday pun, "Have to love East, baby," has been printed…
"I'm a social drinker. Every time someone says 'I'll have a drink,' I say 'Social I'" -- a pun on "So shall I" -- is a jocular drinking saying that…
Many people watch a lot of television. "Some guy on live at the Apollo just said, 'I watch a lot of the TV. I even sometimes watch the whole screen'" was posted on Twitter on…
A "chicken tender" is a food, but it can also be a job description. "If I took care of chickens, would that make me a Chicken Tender?" was posted on Twitter on April 21, 2011.…
"To cut a long story short" is a common conversational expression. "When I was asked at the job interview 'Why do you want to be a Film Editor?' I replied 'Well, to…
Many bars provide wifi access for customers, although some people use the wifi service and purchase little or nothing. A joke was posted on Twitter by Ian Sausage on March 11, 2018: Me: What's…
A riddle about stars is: Q: What stars go to jail?A: Shooting stars. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1976. Wikipedia: Shooting Star Shooting star is a common name for the visible…
Is an "air guitar" a wind instrument? Actually, pretending to play a guitar is not playing an instrument at all. "My favourite wind instrument is probably the air guitar" was…
"Gladiator" sounds like "glad he ate her," and puns have been cited in print since at least 1836. A riddle was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on July 13, 1992: Q: What do you…
"Income tax" sounds like "in come Tax." A joke was printed in a 1917 newspaper: "A prosperous farmer of this county, who was looking after business in town yesterday,…
Recycling provides the evidence of one's drinking. "Nothing like taking out the recycling to show you your roommate may be an alcoholic" was posted on Twitter on May 19, 2010.…
A popular "yo mama" insult "lazy joke" is: "Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs." The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
A joke about websites and the meaning of "crashing" was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on February 11, 2011: "I thought I'd found the perfect website to help me overcome my…
"ATM" can stand for "Automated Teller Machine," but it can also mean "At The Moment." "I was gonna tweet a joke about a bank but I just can't think of one…
Many people can't work without coffee. "It's funny how a coffee machine problem generally gets fixed faster then an infrastructure problem" was posted on Twitter on May 16,…
A music pun was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on March 9, 2015: "Sheet music is like a sound recipe." The joke is that a "sound recipe" can mean a "recipe of…
Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a paintball exam. "I passed my paintball exam with flying…