“Tuesday is just second Monday”
"Tuesday is just second Monday" is a saying meaning that the first two days of the normal work week are equally bad. "Tuesday is like a second Monday" was posted on Twitter on…
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“Making mistakes is human, but when you make mistakes in a Captcha, you aren’t human”
A joke about CAPTCHA (an acronym for "Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart") was posted on Reddit -- Shower Thoughts on February 11, 2018:…
“Marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they won’t eat all of yours”
"Marry someone who has a different favorite cereal than you so they won't eat all of yours" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "radsturbate: marry someone…
“Mom used to feed me alphabet soup, claiming that I loved it” (joke)
"I'd always refuse when my mother tried to feed me alphabet soup, I hate it when ppl put words in my mouth" is a joke that was posted on Twitter on July 7, 2011. "When I was…
Fakestream Media (fake news + mainstream media); FSM (fake + MSM)
"Fakestream media" or "fake stream media" (fake news + mainstream media) became popular when the term "fake news" went viral in 2016 (with the election of U.S.…
“Diner: What’s wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don’t ask me. I only laid the table.”
A restaurant joke is: Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table. "Small Girl: 'Where did the funny little eggs come from, do you…
“Words cannot espresso how much you bean to me”
"I can't espresso how much you bean to me" is a pun-filled coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I can not espresso how much you bean to me" was posted on…
“I bought a second-hand time machine next Tuesday…”
There are many time travel jokes. "MATT KING on THE STAND-UP SHOW: 'I bought a second-hand time machine about three weeks from now. It was useless, it broke down tomorrow'" is a…
“The worst thing about censorship is—”
"The worst thing about censorship is -- " -- the last part is blacked out -- is a saying that has been printed on many images. The censorship saying has been cited in print since at least…
“A dangling participle walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A dangling participle vesion is: "A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a…
“A malapropism walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A malapropism version is: "A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive…
“A simile walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A simile version is: "A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert." "A…
“A day without coffee is like… Just kidding. I have no idea”
"A day without coffee is like... Just kidding. I have no idea" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "A day without coffee is like... uh...umm... actually…
“It’s coffee o’clock”
"It's coffee o'clock" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. 'Coffee o'clock" is a time for drinking coffee, and, for those who enjoy…
“You’re brew-tiful” (brew + beautiful)
"You're brew-tiful" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Brewtiful" meaning "brewery" and "beautiful" has been cited in…
“I can’t espresso how much you bean to me”
"I can't espresso how much you bean to me" is a pun-filled coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "I can not espresso how much you bean to me" was posted on…
“Diner: There’s a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.”
A restaurant joke is: Diner: Waiter, there's a button in my salad. Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing. The oldest form of the joke was printed in the Anthony (KS)…
“I don’t need sleep. I need coffee”
"I don't need sleep. I need coffee" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Wait I don’t need sleep, I need coffee. Sleep would be amazing…
“I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee”
"I don't need an inspiration quote. I need coffee" is a jocular motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "I don't need an inspirational quote- I NEED…
“I just want to drink coffee, create stuff and sleep”
"I just want to drink coffee, create stuff and sleep" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The saying has been popular with artists and writers. "'I Just…