“I’m on the coffee diet. That’s when I drink coffee and don’t bite people”
"I'm on this new diet where I drink coffee instead of biting people" and "I'm on a/the coffee diet. That's when I drink coffee and don't bite people" are…
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“Nothing should go on top of a burger bun. It’s dry on purpose so you can hold it. Stop it, trendy restaurants”
Some restaurants pour cheese sauce or steak sauce on top of a burger bun. "NOTHING SHOULD BE ON TOP OF A BURGER BUN. ITS DRY ON PURPOSE SO YOU CAN HOLD IT. STOP IT TRENDY RESTAURANTS" was…
“My favorite machine at the gym is the air conditioner”
"My favorite machine at the gym is the air conditioner" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying (shown on an ecard) was posted on X/Twitter by someecards on…
“Adulthood is basically that feeling you get when you unwrap your food and it’s not what you ordered”
"You know that feeling you get when you unwrap your food and you realize it’s not what you ordered. I feel like that all the time" was posted on X/Twitter by Danger on September 2,…
“You know that feeling you get when you unwrap your food and you realize it’s not what you ordered. I feel like that all the time”
"You know that feeling you get when you unwrap your food and you realize it’s not what you ordered. I feel like that all the time" was posted on X/Twitter by Danger on September 2,…
“If you don’t know what to talk about on a first date, try mentioning global warming. It’s a huge icebreaker”
A conversational "icebreaker" usually doesn't involve ice, but there are jokes. This was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on February 21, 2023: "If you don't know what to talk…
“Good steaks are like good men. The best ones have a little fat on them”
"Good steaks are like good men. The best ones have a little fat on them" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying, perhaps, makes fat men feel a little better about…
“Good steaks are like good women. The best ones have a little fat on them”
"Good steaks are like good men. The best ones have a little fat on them" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying, perhaps, makes fat men feel a little better about…
“People who enjoy salt & vinegar chips are a sturdier breed, more prepared for life’s challenges”
Salt and vinegar chips is a popular potato chip flavor. However, some people are at first put off by them, and the intense, sour taste of salt and vinegar chips takes a while to get used to.…
“You’re either normal or you study the menu before going to a restaurant”
Many people want to study a restaurant's menu online, so when they get to a restaurant they know what they want and can order quickly. "am i the only one that needs to study the menu…
“When someone doesn’t like me, I check my pay stub to see if it made any difference”
"When someone doesn't like me, I check my pay stub to see if it makes any difference" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that, for example, one…
“When someone doesn’t like you, check your pay stub to see if it made any difference”
"When someone doesn't like me, I check my pay stub to see if it makes any difference" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that, for example, one…
“When someone doesn’t like you, check your bank account and see if it made a difference”
"When someone doesn't like me, I check my pay stub to see if it makes any difference" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that, for example, one…
“Can priests bless stuff other than water? I just think holy guacamole should *mean* something”
"Holy guacamole" just a rhymed exclamation, but some people want it to be more than that -- like holy water. "can priests bless stuff other than water? i just think holy guacamole…
“It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger”
"It's so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It's so hot outside my shadow gave me…
“It’s so hot outside my shadow gave me the middle finger and went back in”
"It's so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It's so hot outside my shadow gave me…
“Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your work. Get paid. Go home
"Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job/work. Get paid. Go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that while it might be nice to be…
“Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job. Get paid. Go home”
"Not everyone at your workplace is your friend. Do your job/work. Get paid. Go home" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The saying means that while it might be nice to be…
“It’s gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like holy shit should we do something”
"It's gotten to the point where the aliens have stopped laughing at us and are all looking at each other like holy shit should we do something" is a jocular saying that has been…
“Apparently when my wife doesn’t text back it’s because she’s busy. But when I don’t text back it’s because I don’t love her anymore”
There is a texting double-standard in a relationship. This was posted on Facebook by Michael Reifsnyder on January 11, 2025: "Apparently when my wife doesn't text back it's because…