“Keep your friends close and your glass of wine closer”
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer" is a famous line from the film The Godfather, Part II (1974). "Keep your friends close and your wine glass closer" is a…
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“If it doesn’t apply, let it fly” (“If it don’t apply, let it fly”)
"If it don't apply, let it fly" ("If it doesn't apply, let it fly") is an expression that has been printed on several images. The saying means to let go things that…
“If it don’t apply, let it fly” (“If it doesn’t apply, let it fly”)
"If it don't apply, let it fly" ("If it doesn't apply, let it fly") is an expression that has been printed on several images. The saying means to let go things that…
Mallsoleum (mall + mausoleum)
"Mallsoleum" (mall + mausoleum) is a portmanteau word meaning a mall that is dead or dying, or a mall that destroys surrounding businesses. "Monster of the Mall-soleum Monlight…
Saratoga: “Health, History, Horses” (slogan)
"WELCOME TO SARATOGA SPRINGS -- HEALTH HISTORY HORSES" is what greets people on several signs in Saratoga Springs, New York. "Health" refers to the springs and spas of the city.…
“I’m calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can’t see myself coming in to work”
"I'm calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can't see myself coming in to work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several ecards. An illustration usually shows…
“Sixteen wives: four better, four worse, four richer, four poorer” (joke)
"For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer" is part of a Christian marriage vow. A popular riddle/joke is: Q: How many wives can a man have?A: Sixteen. Four better, four worse, four…
“I used to think that sticks and stones could break my bones but words could never hurt me…”
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names/words will never harm me” is a classic children's rhyme. A joke variation was posted on Twitter by Steph Marie on May 5, 2011: "I used…
“I sell pies from my car. $2 for apple, $3 for pumpkin. These are the pie rates of the car I be in”
"Pie Rates of the Caribbean”—a pun on the Pirates of the Caribbean film series—has been printed on many images. A different version was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 14, 2019:…
“Don’t hate. Create” (“Create! Don’t hate”)
"Create! Don't hate" (or "Don't hate. Create") is a saying that has been printed in many images. The saying means that instead of hating someone or something, create…
“Create! Don’t hate” (“Don’t hate. Create”)
"Create! Don't hate" (or "Don't hate. Create") is a saying that has been printed in many images. The saying means that instead of hating someone or something, create…
“Yoga is spending an hour trying not to fart”
"Yoga is spending an hour trying not to fart" is a jocular yoga saying that has been printed on many images. The joke has been told by several comedians. "Yoga is a Sanskrit word…
“My stomach is flat. The ‘L’ is silent”
The word "fat" is oh so close to the word "flat." "My stomach is flat. The 'L' is (just) silent" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“My stomach is flat. The ‘L’ is just silent”
The word "fat" is oh so close to the word "flat." "My stomach is flat. The 'L' is (just) silent" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images.…
“You put it down like New York City. I never sleep”
The song "International Love" (2011) by American rapper Pitbull contains the lyrics: "You put it down like New York City. I never sleep." "I never sleep" refers to the…
Thirst Trapping (Thirst Trap)
"Thirst trap" is a social media term for when someone posts a statement or a photograph (usually a sexually suggestive selfie) on Twitter or Instagram or elsewhere, creating sexual thirst…
Thirst Trap (Thirst Trapping)
"Thirst trap" is a social media term for when someone posts a statement or a photograph (usually a sexually suggestive selfie) on Twitter or Instagram or elsewhere, creating sexual thirst…
GAFI (Grab Ankles For Israel)
GAFI stands for "Grab Ankles For Israel." The term "GAFI" describes a politician (especially from the United States) who puts Israel above the electorate constituency.…
“Why is it called a strip mall when there aren’t any strippers?”
A "strip mall" doesn't have anything to do with "stripping," but there are jokes. "RT @TheUnsayable: I can't find any strippers in this strip mall. Gonna check…
“Ten years ago, I swore I would give up drinking whilst I’m at work. I haven’t touched a job since”
Drinking on the job is no joke, but this was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on January 2, 2020: "Ten years ago, I swore I would give up drinking whilst I'm at work. I haven't touched a…