“When I eat at a restaurant, the waitress tips me”
"When [X] eats at a restaurant, the waiter/waitress tips him" is a joke said about several powerful people, including American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris and Dos Equis beer…
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“When I eat at a restaurant, the waiter tips me”
"When [X] eats at a restaurant, the waiter/waitress tips him" is a joke said about several powerful people, including American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris and Dos Equis beer…
“When Chuck Norris eats at a restaurant, the waitress tips him”
"When [X] eats at a restaurant, the waiter/waitress tips him" is a joke said about several powerful people, including American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris and Dos Equis beer…
“When Chuck Norris eats at a restaurant, the waiter tips him”
"When [X] eats at a restaurant, the waiter/waitress tips him" is a joke said about several powerful people, including American martial artist and actor Chuck Norris and Dos Equis beer…
“Once you realize there are no calories listed on a bottle of wine, life is a lot more tolerable”
There are no calories listed on a bottle of wine, and this is just fine with many people who like to drink wine. "Once you realize there are no calories listed on a bottle of wine, the rest of…
“Once you realize there are no calories listed on a bottle of wine, the rest of your life begins”
There are no calories listed on a bottle of wine, and this is just fine with many people who like to drink wine. "Once you realize there are no calories listed on a bottle of wine, the rest of…
“No unfortunately, I cannot give you directions around the city I have lived in my entire life”
Many people can live in a city their entire life, but they go to the same places and do not really know the city. This was posted on X/Twitter by 𝒛𝒂𝒉 on December 7, 2022, and received over…
“The high for today was 75. The low was when I ate a whole sleeve of Thin Mints”
A food joke starts with the weather -- "The high for today was..." The next line refers to unhealthy eating: "The low was..." The many forms of the saying have been printed on…
“If war and infrastructure spending helps the economy, why don’t we just bomb our own cities?”
"If war and infrastructure spending helps the economy, why don't we just bomb our own cities?" is shown on a meme, as posted on Facebook by Tung Nguyen on March 19, 2024. Authorship…
“The high for today was 54. The low was eating an entire batch of cookies”
A food joke starts with the weather -- "The high for today was..." The next line refers to unhealthy eating: "The low was..." The many forms of the saying have been printed on…
“You can always trust me. Not alone with cake, but other than that”
"Of course you can trust me. Not alone with cake, but otherwise" (or "You can always trust me. Not alone with cake, but other than that") is a saying that has been printed on…
“Of course you can trust me. Not alone with cake, but otherwise”
"Of course you can trust me. Not alone with cake, but otherwise" (or "You can always trust me. Not alone with cake, but other than that") is a saying that has been printed on…
“It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety" (or "It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas…
“It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety" (or "It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas…
“It’s almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Xmas anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety" (or "It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas…
“It’s almost time to switch from my normal anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety”
"It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy holiday anxiety" (or "It's almost time to switch from my everyday anxiety to my fancy Christmas…
“I’ve always wondered why there is a day dedicated to fools. I see fools every day and frankly, I’m sick of it”
"I've always wondered why there is a day dedicated to fools. I see fools every day and frankly, I'm sick of it" is a saying that has been printed on ecards. "RT @MissHMQ:…
“Manager: Do you want to do overtime? Me: First of all, I don’t even want to do regular time”
"Manager: Do you want to do overtime? Me: First of all, I don't even want to do regular time" is a work meme that has been printed on many images. "Manager:Do you want to do…
“Netflix should have a category called ‘easy to follow while looking at my phone the whole time’”
"Netflix should have a category called 'easy to follow while looking at my/your phone the whole time'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Many people do not want…
“Sometimes I eat healthy. Other times, I use cookies as spoons”
"Sometimes I eat healthy. Other times, I use cookies as spoons" (or "Sometimes I'm healthy AF and sometimes I use cookies as a spoon for ice cream") is a saying that has…