“I woke up with a face full of rice. I must have fell asleep as my head hit the pilau”
"Pilaf" (U.S. spelling) is a rice dish that is spelled "pilau" in the United Kingdom, and, of course, there are "pillow" jokes. "I slept in a bed of rice last…
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“BBQ sauce is just sexy ketchup”
Several sauces have been described as "sexy ketchup" -- that is, a sauce with a "kick" (hotness or other flavor). "BBQ sauce is just sexy ketchup" was posted on…
Little Venezuela
"Little Venezuela" is a nickname for a city, state or even a country that embraces socialism and falls into economic and social decline. The nickname refers to Venezuela under the…
“Covid-19 is like eating raw cookie dough… We know the risk. now let us live our lives”
Eating raw cookie dough could have salmonella dangers, but many people still eat it. Some have compared this risk to the risk of contracting COVID-19. "Covid-19 is like eating raw cookie…
“The spell czech on my computer has never failed me”
"The spell czech on my computer has never failed me" was posted on Twitter by David C Kyalo © on January 16, 2011. "Spell czech" is a misspelling of "spell check."…
“Is this pool safe for diving?”/“It deep ends.”
"Pun of the Day: Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends" -- a pun on "depends" -- was posted on Twitter by Rosa Lei Steinard on December 1, 2009. "Swimming can be easy…
“What do you call two crows on a branch?”/“Attempted murder.”
A group of crows is a "murder." A riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call two crows on a branch?A: Attempted murder. "What do you call two crows on a branch?…
Poor Person’s Virus (COVID-19)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has been called a "poor person's virus." A rich person can isolate, while a poor person might have to work in dangerous conditions. A rich person…
“In my physics exam today a question asked ‘What’s the unit of power?’ I answered ‘Correct’”
"Watt" (a unit of power) sounds like "what." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1919. "The same friend asked 'what's the unit of power?', only…
“Freedom is not extreme. Control is extreme”
“Freedom is not, and never will be, extreme. Control is extreme. Desiring to control someone's life, for whatever reason, that is extreme" was said by American politician Aaron Libby at…
Poor Man’s Virus (COVID-19)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has been called a "poor person's virus" and, occasionally, a "poor man's virus." A rich person can isolate, while a poor person…
“Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends”
"Pun of the Day: Swimming can be easy or hard. It deep-ends" -- a pun on "depends" -- was posted on Twitter by Rosa Lei Steinard on December 1, 2009. "Swimming can be easy…
“It’s never a good thing to be greeted with ‘Thank goodness you’re here’”
If you arrive at work and are greeted with "Thank goodness you're here," it's usually a sign that things are a mess and you will be expected to correct it. "Yesterday I…
“What did the right knee say to the left knee?”/“Hi, felony!”
"Felony" sounds a bit like "fellow knee" or "fella knee." "What did the right knee say to the left knee? Hi...felony!" was posted on Twitter by Justin on…
“My wife complains I don’t buy her flowers. To be honest, I didn’t know she sold flowers”
"My wife is always complaining that I never buy her flowers. In my defense, I didn't even know she sold flowers" was posted on Twitter by Andrew Mexo O'Connor (and others) on…
“Coronavirus is a poor person’s virus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has been called a "poor person's virus." A rich person can isolate, while a poor person might have to work in dangerous conditions. A rich person…
“Jobs should higher you weather you have a fella knee or a mister meaner”
"Felony" sounds a bit like "fellow knee" or "fella knee." "What did the right knee say to the left knee? Hi...felony!" was posted on Twitter by Justin on…
“Coronavirus is a poor man’s virus”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic has been called a "poor person's virus" and, occasionally, a "poor man's virus." A rich person can isolate, while a poor person…
“What do cloves use for money?”/“Garlic bread.”
"Bread" is slang for "money." A riddle is: Q: What do cloves use for money?A: Garlic bread. The riddle was posted on Twitter by Ujwal on February 17, 2013.…
“Why did the chef quit?”/“They cut his celery.”
"Celery" sounds a little bit like "salary." A riddle is: Q: Why did the chef quit?A: They cut his celery. The joke was posted on Twitter by WISCO VIEWERS on June 23, 2013.…