“My gamer girlfriend just left me…said I always tried to controller”
"Controller" sounds like "control her." A gamer joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on August 14, 2020: "My gamer girlfriend just left me...said I always tried to…
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“Well-behaved women rarely ever make history. Or a decent soufflé”
"Well-behaved women seldom make history" (or "Well-behaved women rarely make history") is a famous quote from American historian Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. "Well-behaved women…
Finishiative (finish + initiative)
Entry in progress -- B.P. HuffPost Martha RingerCompletion Consultant, Author, Soul Listener‘Finishiative’08/10/2015 01:55 pm ET Updated Aug 10, 2016Walking on the trail the other night close…
“Maybe serial killers are just regular people on a no carb diet”
"Maybe serial killers are just regular people on a no carb diet" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on several images. "Maybe #serial killers are regular people on a…
“I assume people who don’t drink coffee just die around 2 p.m.”
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
“A good pun is its own reword”
"Virtue is its own reward" is an old saying. "A good pun is its own reword" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "A good pun is its own reword"…
“I’d rather be someone’s shot of tequila than everyone’s cup of tea”
Entry in progress -- B.P.
“I assume that people who don’t drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.”
"I assume people who don't drink coffee just die around 2 p.m." (or "I assume that people who don't drink coffee all die around 2 p.m.") is a coffee saying that has…
“Some days you make the coffee. Some days the coffee makes you”
"Some days you make the coffee. Other/Some days the coffee makes you" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. “Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats…
“Some days you make the coffee. Other days the coffee makes you”
"Some days you make the coffee. Other/Some days the coffee makes you" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. “Sometimes you eat the bear and sometimes the bear eats…
“Maybe serial killers are just regular people on the keto diet”
"Maybe serial killers are just regular people on a no carb diet" is a jocular dieting saying that has been printed on several images. "Maybe #serial killers are regular people on a…
“All things are possible with coffee and a cute outfit”
"All things are possible with coffee and a cute outfit" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "All things are possible with coffee & a cute outfit" was…
“If you get lost in the woods, find a possum and follow it. You’ll be in the middle of the road”
Possums are often found dead in the middle of the road. A joke was posted on Facebook by Dean Young on January 26, 2020: "If you get lost in the woodsFind a possom, follow it.You will be in…
“Lap band surgery: waist knot, want not”
A laparoscopic adjustable gastric band is a type of knot placed around the top of the stomach to reduce food consumption. "I have no desire to have a gastric band fitted. My motto: Waist knot?…
“Too Hot To Keep Changing Sign. Sin Bad. Jesus Good. Details Inside” (church sign)
"Too Hot/Cold To Keep Changing Sign. Sin Bad. Jesus Good. Details Inside" is a jocular church sign that has been printed on many images. "Too Hot To Keep Changing Sign. Sin Bad.…
“Do locksmiths count as key workers?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in classifications of some people as "essential workers" (in the US) or "key workers" (in the UK). "LOCKSMITHS. Take advantage…
“The gastric band: waist knot, want not”
A laparoscopic adjustable gastric band is a type of knot placed around the top of the stomach to reduce food consumption. "I have no desire to have a gastric band fitted. My motto: Waist knot?…
“Too Cold To Keep Changing Sign. Sin Bad. Jesus Good. Details Inside” (church sign)
"Too Hot/Cold To Keep Changing Sign. Sin Bad. Jesus Good. Details Inside" is a jocular church sign that has been printed on many images. "Too Hot To Keep Changing Sign. Sin Bad.…
“Are locksmiths key workers?”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in classifications of some people as "essential workers" (in the US) or "key workers" (in the UK). "LOCKSMITHS. Take advantage…
“I slept in a bed of rice last night. I was asleep as soon as my head hit the pilau”
"Pilaf" (U.S. spelling) is a rice dish that is spelled "pilau" in the United Kingdom, and, of course, there are "pillow" jokes. "I slept in a bed of rice last…