“The person who said ‘All men are created equal’ has never watched a porno movie”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
Search
Searched for . Search results: 41260
Shitter (shit + Twitter)
Twitter is an American microblogging and social networking service. Some people who don't like Twitter have nicknamed it "Shitter" (shit + Twitter). "Possible tagline:…
“Why shouldn’t you run while playing bagpipes?”/“You could trip and get kilt.”
"Don't run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out. Or worse yet, get kilt" is a pun-filled piece of advice posted on Twitter by Justin Staggs Ⓥ on August 28, 2017.…
“Lives matter! If you need a color in front of those words, you’re a racist”
"Black Lives Matter" is the name of an organization and a slogan for a political justice movement. Some people prefer to say that "all lives matter." "Lives matter! If you…
“Chili is basically just hamburger soup”
Entry in progress -- BP twitterThomas Petrahai@Dash_O_SassChili is basically just hamburger soup4:02 PM · Jan 28, 2020·Twitter Web App
“I’m the sole provider for my family. They can buy the rest of the shoes themselves…”
"Sole provider" means the only provider. It usually doesn't mean the provider of shoe soles, but there are jokes. "I'm the sole provider for my family. They can buy the…
“Whoever said all men were created equal has obviously never received dick pics!”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
“I believe in the two-party system—one on Friday night and one on Saturday night”
"I believe in the two-party system -- one on Friday night and one on Saturday night" is a jocular political saying that has been printed on many images. "Overheard on the elevator:…
“Cashier: The self-checkout is available. Customer: I don’t work here.”
Many people don't like self-checkout and would rather go to a cashier. "I don't work here!" is a popular customer comment. "No, I don't want to self checkout. I…
“Please bring me a screwdriver.”/“Flat head, Phillips, or Vodka?”
When someone asks for a screwdriver, a person might respond, "What type of screwdriver?" A screwdriver cocktail was probably not requested, but this joke was posted on Twitter by…
Disgracebook (disgrace + Facebook)
Facebook is a popular global social networking website. Some people who don't like Facebook have nicknamed it "Disgracebook" (disgrace + Facebook). "wonders if disgracebook is…
“Anger management classes are all the rage”
"Anger management" is for anger prevention and control. "All the rage" means something that is very popular. An obvious pun combines the two terms. "Anger management…
“Exercise? I thought you said extra slice”
"Exercise? I thought you said extra slice" is a pizza saying that has been printed on many images. Occasionally, however, the "slice" refers to food other than pizza.…
“Anger management courses are now all the rage”
"Anger management" is for anger prevention and control. "All the rage" means something that is very popular. An obvious pun combines the two terms. "Anger management…
“I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s election night”
"I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it's election night" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. “@LinajkReturns: I remember when…
“What does a pizza wear to smell good?”/“Calzogne.”
A pizza riddle is: Q: What does a pizza wear to smell good?A: Calzogne. (calzone + cologne) "Calzogne for to smell like an Italian meal" was posted on Twitter by Her Eekcellency on…
“Exercise? I thought you said extra slice”
"Exercise? I thought you said extra slice" is a pizza saying that has been printed on many images. Occasionally, however, the "slice" refers to food other than pizza.…
“I tried starting my day without coffee once… My court date is pending”
"I tried starting a/my day without coffee once... My court date is pending" is a jocular coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "Tried starting the day without coffee…
“Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things…”
"Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…
“There are things we are taught to accept without question…”
"There are things we are taught to accept without question. Those are the things that need questioned most of all" is a saying that has been printed on an image. The saying was posted on…