“Why don’t zombies eat ghosts?”/“Because they taste like sheet.”
"Sheet" sounds like "shit." "do you know what ghosts taste like? Sheet!" was posted on Twitter by Brian Korte on February 1, 2017. "Why don’t zombies eat ghost?…
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“Why don’t monsters eat ghosts?”/“Because they taste like sheet.”
"Sheet" sounds like "shit." "do you know what ghosts taste like? Sheet!" was posted on Twitter by Brian Korte on February 1, 2017. "Why don’t zombies eat ghost?…
“Wear a mask and say a prayer because Jesus and germs are everywhere”
"Wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "One of her mother's…
“Wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere”
"Wash your hands and say your prayers because Jesus and germs are everywhere" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is uncertain. "One of her mother's…
“If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes politics”
The "big lie" is, "If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes truth" -- a statement often attributed to Joseph Goebbels (1897-1945), Adolf Hitler's Propaganda Minister in…
“A banana is just a vegan sausage”
Bananas have been compared to sausages. "sausage = meat banana" was posted on Twitter by stephanie vacher on October 16, 2008. "I like to call sausages, meat bananas, it's makes…
“Bananas are fruit sausage”
Bananas have been compared to sausages. "sausage = meat banana" was posted on Twitter by stephanie vacher on October 16, 2008. "I like to call sausages, meat bananas, it's makes…
“Socialism is like a mouse trap. The mouse doesn’t understand why the cheese is free”
"Mice die in mouse traps because they don’t understand why the cheese is free. The same thing happens with socialism" (or "Socialism is like a mouse trap. It works because the…
“Mice die in mouse traps because they don’t understand why the cheese is free…”
"Mice die in mouse traps because they don’t understand why the cheese is free. The same thing happens with socialism" (or "Socialism is like a mouse trap. It works because the…
“Whoever said ‘All men were created equal’ has never been to a nudist colony”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
“Whoever said ‘All men are created equal’ has obviously never been to a nude beach”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
“Whoever said ‘All men are created equal’ has never been in a locker room”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
“Whoever said ‘All men are created equal’ has never taken a shower at the YMCA”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
“The person who said ‘All men are created equal’ has never watched a porno movie”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…
Shitter (shit + Twitter)
Twitter is an American microblogging and social networking service. Some people who don't like Twitter have nicknamed it "Shitter" (shit + Twitter). "Possible tagline:…
“Why shouldn’t you run while playing bagpipes?”/“You could trip and get kilt.”
"Don't run with bagpipes. You could put an aye out. Or worse yet, get kilt" is a pun-filled piece of advice posted on Twitter by Justin Staggs Ⓥ on August 28, 2017.…
“Lives matter! If you need a color in front of those words, you’re a racist”
"Black Lives Matter" is the name of an organization and a slogan for a political justice movement. Some people prefer to say that "all lives matter." "Lives matter! If you…
“Chili is basically just hamburger soup”
Entry in progress -- BP twitterThomas Petrahai@Dash_O_SassChili is basically just hamburger soup4:02 PM · Jan 28, 2020·Twitter Web App
“I’m the sole provider for my family. They can buy the rest of the shoes themselves…”
"Sole provider" means the only provider. It usually doesn't mean the provider of shoe soles, but there are jokes. "I'm the sole provider for my family. They can buy the…
“Whoever said all men were created equal has obviously never received dick pics!”
The quotation "all men are created equal" is part of the U.S. Declaration of Independence, written by Thomas Jefferson in 1776. "All men" means "all people" (both men…