“Why did the oven go back to University?”/“To get another degree.”
An oven riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 31, 2014: Q: Why did the oven go back to University?A: To get another degree. The joke was the "Laugh of the Day" on…
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“Definition of a pickle: A cucumber soured by a jarring experience”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“Most people want to serve got, but only in an advisory capacity”
"Most people want/wish to serve God, but only in an advisory capacity" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Most people wish to serve God, but in an advisory capacity…
“What do you get when you pick a pig’s nose?”/“Ham boogers.”
"Hamburgers" should not be confused with "ham boogers." but there are puns. This was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on November 19, 1992: Q: What do you get when a pig picks…
“Refried beans are technically beanut butter”
Entry in progress -- BP TwitterWelman@1Welman1I propose a name change from refried beans to beanut butter11:46 AM · Jun 5, 2014·Twitter for iPhone Twitterimmy Neutron, Boy Penius@shieldman18Why…
“I bought an exercise machine, but when I assembled it, a message kept flashing up…” (joke)
A "cross-trainer" (elliptical trainer) is not the same thing as a "trainer who is cross," but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic on January 10, 2018:…
“September ended. Somebody wake up that guy from Green Day” (October 1 joke)
"Wake Me Up When September Ends" is a 2005 acoustic ballad by American rock band Green Day. "September ended. Somebody wake up that guy from Green Day" is a popular October 1st…
“A masochist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." There are several versions involving a masochist walking into a physical "bar."…
“Jenga is the most depressing game. There are no winners. Just one loser who fucks everything up”
Jenga is a game where players take turns removing one block at a time from a tower of 54 blocks. If the tower collapses, that player "loses" and the other players "win."…
“People never tell you when it’s their first rodeo, but are eager to inform you when it’s not”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. The saying almost always uses the negative in discussing a first rodeo. This was posted on Reddit…
“A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A political version is: "A nihilist, a socialist, and a neo-marxist walk into a bar…
“Why do people put ketchup on french fries, but not on mashed potatoes?”
"Potatoes are a weird food like that, for example, many people put ketchup on french fries, but few people put ketchup on mashed potatoes" was posted on the newsgroup…
“How do you tell a male door from a female door?”/“One’s got a ding-dong, the other has knockers.”
A door riddle (containing sex slang) is: Q: How do you tell a male door from a female door? A: One's got a ding-dong, the other has knockers. The joke was posted on Twitter by Aman on…
“Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pushed the elevator button”
"Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pressed/pushed the elevator button" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Children who get in elevators often fight to press…
“Most board games have one winner and multiple losers. Jenga has one loser and multiple winners”
Jenga is a game where players take turns removing one block at a time from a tower of 54 blocks. If the tower collapses, that player "loses" and the other players "win."…
“Country music is just farm emo”
"Country music is just farm emo" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "RT @pajamajams: country music is just farm emo" was posted on Twitter by Erik Casarez on May…
“Don’t judge a cook by his blubber”
“Never trust a skinny chef” is an old saying. The implication is that the chef doesn't want to eat the food that he makes. "Don't/Never judge a book by its cover" is a…
“Don’t forget to pay your taxes this year. Other countries and politicians are depending on you!”
The Consolidated Appropriations Act, 2021 originally planned for only $600 of relief to Americans, who had been suffering all year from the 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. However, the bill…
“It’s a great time to walk in a cemetery. It’s guaranteed that everybody is at least 6 feet away”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in six feet social distancing requirements. "Six feet" often refers to how deep a person is buried in a cemetery. "This place is…
“Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pressed the elevator button”
"Hell hath no fury like a child whose sibling just pressed/pushed the elevator button" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Children who get in elevators often fight to press…