“What do you call a wavering potato?”/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
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“I just bought a new answering machine. What should I ask it?”
A telephone "answering machine" does not answer questions, but there are jokes. "I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it???" was posted on Twitter by Labyrinth…
“What do you call a potato that is reluctant to jump into boiling water?”/“A hesitater.”
Potatoes are called "taters." There are many "hesitator" -- or "hesitater" -- puns. "What do you call a potato that takes it's time?? A hesitater...…
“Why did the Hobbit put his phone on silent?”/“Because he was bored of the rings.”
A The Lord of the Rings riddle was posted on the Sickipedia website on December 1, 2012: Q: Why did the hobbit turn his phone on silent?A: He was Bored of the Rings. "Why did the Hobbit put…
“Why do people argue with short people? Their heights won’t make them reach an agreement”
"Why do people argue with short people, when we all know their heights wont make them reach an agreement?" was posted on Twitter by Olamilekan on August 5, 2019. "Short people…
“I’m willing to die protecting my rights. Are you willing to die trying to take them from me?”
"I'm willing to die for my rights. Are you willing to die trying to take them from me?" (also "I'm willing to die protecting my rights. Are you willing to die to take…
“I’m willing to die protecting my 2nd amendment rights. Are you willing to die trying to take them?”
"I'm willing to die for my rights. Are you willing to die trying to take them from me?" (also "I'm willing to die protecting my rights. Are you willing to die to take…
“A friend tweeted ‘what’s a simile?’ I clicked the ‘like’ button”
A "like" button on the internet has nothing to do with a simile (a statement that uses "like" or "as"), but there are jokes. This was posted on Sickipedia on January…
“Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light”
A chandelier can give "light," but the chandelier itself might be "heavy." There are "light" puns, of course. "Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light"…
“Stop locking down businesses and start locking up politicians”
The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in lockdowns on many businesses. Sal the Agorist posted on Twitter on January 12, 2021: "Stop locking down businesses & start locking up…
“I’m willing to die for my rights. Are you willing to die trying to take them from me?”
"I'm willing to die for my rights. Are you willing to die trying to take them from me?" (also "I'm willing to die protecting my rights. Are you willing to die to take…
“Why did the painting go to jail?”/“It was framed.”
A picture riddle was printed in The News Journal (Wilmington, DE) on October 11, 1996: Q: Why did the picture go to jail?A: Because if was framed. A painting riddle was printed in the Southtown…
“Short people can’t reach an agreement”
"Why do people argue with short people, when we all know their heights wont make them reach an agreement?" was posted on Twitter by Olamilekan on August 5, 2019. "Short people…
“A horse runs into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." “A horse walks into a bar. Show jumping at its worst” is a related joke. Reddit --…
“Foible. In England, it’s a minor eccentricity in character. In New York, it’s what a cat pukes”
A joke on the New York City accent was posted on Twitter by Bob Kostic (and others) on January 11, 2015: "Foible. In England, it's a minor weakness or eccentricity in someone's…
“I’ve got some racing geese for sale. Let me know if you want a quick gander”
"My friend Kenny has loads of racing geese for sale if anyone wants a quick gander" was posted on Twitter by trouteyes on August 11, 2017. The word "gander" can mean both…
“The bank wants to repossess my tree house. I’m convinced it’s a mix up from when I moved branches”
Banks have "branches," and there are puns. "The bank want to repossess my tree-house. They say I haven't kept up my payments but I'm sure it's just a mix-up from when…
“A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“How does a cucumber become a pickle?”/“It goes through a jarring experience.”
"A bit of humor: A pickle is a cucumber soured by a jarring experience" was printed in The Current Local (Van Buren, MO) on July 14, 1988. "'A pickle is a cucumber soured by a…
“Why did the oven go back to University?”/“To get another degree.”
An oven riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 31, 2014: Q: Why did the oven go back to University?A: To get another degree. The joke was the "Laugh of the Day" on…