“They are giving away free money!! At a place called ‘work’”
"They are giving away free money!! At a place called 'work.' Just go there & follow simple instructions & get your own!!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on…
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“Police jokes just aren’t funny. Give it arrest”
Entry in progress -- BP Reddit -- 3amjokesPosted by u/honolulu_oahu_mod January 6, 2021Hey /r/3amjokes, police related jokes just aren’t funny!!So give it arrest...COMMENTSNathanielleSThat's…
“I pledge allegiance to the cup that holds my caffeinated beverage…” (coffee pledge)
A pledge of allegiance to a cup of coffee is shown on many images: "I pledge allegiance to the cup that holds my caffeinated beverage. And to the drink which it contains, one container, full…
“My ‘dry’ January is Sauvignon Blanc”
"Dry January" means to abstain from drinking alcohol for the month of January. It does not mean drinking dry wines, but there are jokes. "Is a dry January when you only drink…
“There’s no room for BS in my life, unless it’s Burritos and Salsa”
"There's no room for BS in my life, unless it's Burritos and Salsa" (or "The only BS I have time for is Burritos & Salsa") is a jocular saying that has been…
“I’m not much on seizing the day. I just kinda poke it with a stick”
"I'm not much on seizing the day. I just kinda poke it with a stick" is a different kind of motivational saying that has been printed on many images. "Carpe diem," Latin…
“When I found out my new toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked”
"When I found out my new toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 23, 2010. The joke probably originated on the…
“The only BS I have time for is Burritos & Salsa”
"There's no room for BS in my life, unless it's Burritos and Salsa" (or "The only BS I have time for is Burritos & Salsa") is a jocular saying that has been…
“I don’t always drink water, but when I do it’s filtered water. Through my coffeemaker. It’s coffee”
"I don't always drink water, but when I do, it's coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. One image involves "The Most Interesting Man in the…
“The key to happiness is as simple as A-B-C: Always Brew Coffee”
"The key/secret to happiness is as easy/simple as A-B-C. Always Brew Coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "ABCs of life. Always Be Creating. Always Brew…
“If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all”
Twister is a game that involves colored circles, where people place hands and feet. "If you are color blind, Twister is a mother fucking free for all" was posted on Twitter by Ben…
“Twister is just competitive yoga”
Yoga is sometimes compared to the game of Twister. "Twister is just competitive yoga #Iseewhatyoudidthere" was posted on Twitter by Cody Spielmaker on December 26, 2011. "Twister is…
“Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?”/“He was cold, so he turned the fan off.”
A helicopter riddle is: Q: Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?A: He was cold, so he turned the fan off. A Polish joke version is: Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter…
“Have a piece of meat on your shin? That’s bologna”
"Bologna/Baloney" sounds like "below knee," and there are jokes. "What do you call a piece of meat stuck to your shins? Below-knee" was posted on Twitter by mason on…
Demolitioncrat (demolition + Democrat)
"Demolitioncrat" (demolition + Democrat) is a portmanteau word used by those who believe that Democrats are demolishing the United States. "Be not fooled by the #Demolitioncrats…
“Did you hear about the Polish helicopter crash? The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan”
A helicopter riddle is: Q: Why did the helicopter trainee fail on his first flight?A: He was cold, so he turned the fan off. A Polish joke version is: Q: Did you hear about the Polish helicopter…
“I don’t always drink water, but when I do, it’s coffee”
"I don't always drink water, but when I do, it's coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. One image involves "The Most Interesting Man in the…
“The secret to happiness is as easy as A-B-C: Always Brew Coffee”
"The key/secret to happiness is as easy/simple as A-B-C. Always Brew Coffee" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "ABCs of life. Always Be Creating. Always Brew…
“What’s the difference between a camera and a sock?”/“One takes photos, the other takes 5 toes.”
A camera riddle is: Q: What's the difference between a camera and a sock?A: A camera takes photos and a sock takes 5 toes. "Photos" sounds like "fo' toes" (4 toes).…
“I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions”
"I celebrate 4/20 on 1/5 because I know how to reduce fractions" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. April 20th (4/20) is "420 Day," a celebration of…