“I’ve got mood poisoning. It must be something that I hate”
"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate" (or "I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate") -- a pun on "food poisoning" and…
Search
Searched for . Search results: 41191
“Which is the most desired summer body this year?”/“The antibody.”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic made people desire antibodies rather than summer bodies. "Last year we wanted summer bodies. Now all we want is antibodies" was posted on Twitter by…
“How long have you been working for the company?”/“Ever since the boss threatened to fire me.”
An old joke has a new company employee ask an old company employee, "How long have you been working here?" The old employee responds, "Ever since they threatened to fire me."…
“The only gambling I do is buying shoes online”
"The only gambling I do is buying shoes online" is a saying that has been printed on an ecard in 2017. A woman is shown trying on the shoes, but will they fit? TwitterSteve…
“How long have you been working at that office?”/“Ever since they threatened to fire me.”
An old joke has a new company employee ask an old company employee, "How long have you been working here?" The old employee responds, "Ever since they threatened to fire me."…
“A truckload of Brillo pads was stolen last night. Police are currently scouring the area”
Brillo is the name of a scouring pad, used for cleaning dishes. "Scouring" means to clean, polish, or wash something by rubbing and scrubbing it vigorously, but it also means to search an…
“The best part of a cucumber is the worst part of a watermelon”
Cucumbers have been compared (unfavorably) to watermelons. "The best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on July 19,…
“Cucumbers are just unsweetened watermelons”
Cucumbers are often compared to watermelons. They are both of the Cucurbitaceae gourd family. "cucumbers are like long skinny unsweetened watermelons" was posted on Twitter by Brandon…
“I don’t always walk the walk or even talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink…
"I can't walk the walk or talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm all yours!" is a jocular drinking sayin that has been printed on many images. "I…
“The good part of a cucumber is the bad part of a watermelon”
Cucumbers have been compared (unfavorably) to watermelons. "The best part of a cucumber tastes like the worst part of a watermelon" was posted on Reddit -- Showerthoughts on July 19,…
“I can’t walk the walk or talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink…”
"I can't walk the walk or talk the talk, but if you need someone to drink the drink, I'm all yours!" is a jocular drinking sayin that has been printed on many images. "I…
“Cucumber is the watermelon of the vegetable world”
A watermelon is a fruit. A cucumber is botanically also a fruit, but is often considered to be a vegetable. "#stuffdansays Cucumber is the watermelon of the vegetable world" was posted on…
“Cucumbers are the watermelons of vegetables”
A watermelon is a fruit. A cucumber is botanically also a fruit, but is often considered to be a vegetable. "#stuffdansays Cucumber is the watermelon of the vegetable world" was posted on…
“This chef on TV said, ‘Where there’s fat, there’s flavor.’ I know he was talking about food…”
"Where there's fat, there's flavor" is a food saying, but some fat people appreciate it. "Where's there's fat there's flavor. Fuckit,a compliment is a…
“Cucumbers are just savory watermelons”
Cucumbers are often compared to watermelons. They are both of the Cucurbitaceae gourd family. "cucumbers are like long skinny unsweetened watermelons" was posted on Twitter by Brandon…
COVID-911 (COVID-19 + 9/11)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic disease was called COVID-19 (after the year 2019). Government-ordered shutdowns and quarantines made many people question what was going on, and some used the…
“My friend cuts up his Indian bread to look like coins. It’s naan cents”
"Naan" (flatbread) has resulted in some "naan cents" (nonsense) jokes. "I can't believe the Indian restaurant would not accept my jar of change as payment. That's…
Lane of Lights and Laughter (Broadway)
Broadway's bright lights gave it the nickname "Lane of Light(s) and Laughter." "That Lane of Light -- Broadway" was printed in Variety (New York, NY) on June 10, 1911.…
“Dude on tv just said, ‘Where there’s fat, there’s flavor.’ He was talking about food, but…”
"Where there's fat, there's flavor" is a food saying, but some fat people appreciate it. "Where's there's fat there's flavor. Fuckit,a compliment is a…
“An Indian flatbread currency would be naan cents”
"Naan" (flatbread) has resulted in some "naan cents" (nonsense) jokes. "I can't believe the Indian restaurant would not accept my jar of change as payment. That's…