“Pretzels are just a vehicle for mustard”
Soft pretzels are often served with mustard. "Pretzels are only vehicles for mustard. I live in the fastlane" was posted on Twitter by Ticia Drake Isom on July 12, 2009. "Pretzels…
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“Every time I use self-checkout, the person in front of me has never used self-checkout…”
Many people use self-checkout because it's faster -- only to be behind a slow person. The following observation was posted on Twitter by jordan on April 15, 2021: "Every time I use…
“Gefilte fish is a vehicle for horseradish”
Gefilte fish is a dish that many Jewish people eat with horseradish. "I though gefilte fish existed as a vehicle for horseradish?" was posted on the newsgroup soc.culture.jewish on April…
“No one knows the true struggle of grocery shopping until they are put on a low sodium diet”
Many people who are put on low sodium diets go to a grocery store and soon realize how many foods contain sodium. "Takes so long to shop for groceries when you are on a low sodium diet.…
“A violinist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Sometimes the "bar" involves musical notation. "A violinist walks into a…
“Oatmeal raisin cookies taste better the older you get”
Many kids go for chocolate chip cookies, but then eat oatmeal raisin cookies as they get older. "some things just taste better as you get older. Like beer, and oatmeal cookies" was posted…
“Tonight’s Powerball jackpot is a full tank of unleaded gas and a sheet of plywood”
May 2021 saw gas shortages and price increases. The price of lumber also shot up much higher. "Tonight's Powerball jackpot is a full tank of unleaded gas and a sheet of plywood" was…
“Oatmeal is basically bread soup”
Is oatmeal "bread soup"? "I just tried oatmeal for the first time and I feel like the texture is either hot boogers or soggy bread soup" was posted on Twitter by kellyshmo on…
Vaxdemic (vaccine + epidemic/pandemic)
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in rushed vaccines. Many people were more fearful of harm from the vaccines, and that this would cause a "vaxdemic" (vaccine +…
“I am not a conspiracy theorist. I am an ‘it’s fucking obvious’ theorist”
Many "conspiracy theories" played out as truth in 2020 and 2021, during the COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic. "I'm done with conspiracy theorist. I'm more into 'Yo,…
“My pronoun is ‘Patriot’”
"My pronoun is 'Patriot'" was posted on Twitter by Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (R-CO) on May 25, 2021. Many people liked the tweet, and many people ridiculed the tweet --…
“Patriot is my preferred pronoun”
"My pronoun is 'Patriot'" was posted on Twitter by Congresswoman Lauren Boebert (R-CO) on May 25, 2021. Many people liked the tweet, and many people ridiculed the tweet --…
“Three bass players walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A version involving three bass players and Beethoven’s 9th symphony was posted on Reddit…
“This tequila tastes like I’m not going to work tomorrow”
"This tequila tastes like I'm not going to work tomorrow" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Wow, this tequila tastes like I'm not going to work…
North Atlantic Terrorist Organization (North Atlantic Treaty Organization or NATO nickname)
The North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) is an an intergovernmental military alliance between 30 European and North American countries. One unflattering NATO nickname is "North Atlantic…
“I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate”
"I got mood poisoning. Must have been something I hate" (or "I got mood poisoning at work. It must be something I hate") -- a pun on "food poisoning" and…
“Tired: summer bodies. Wired: summer antibodies”
The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic made people desire antibodies rather than summer bodies. "Last year we wanted summer bodies. Now all we want is antibodies" was posted on Twitter by…
“The playoffs don’t start until the home team loses a game”
"The playoffs don't start until the home team loses a game" (or "No playoff series truly begins until the road team wins a game") is an old NBA saying. NBA coach Pat Riley…
“What did the mouse say to the keyboard?”/“You’re just my type.”
A computer mouse riddle is: Q: What did the mouse say to the keyboard?A: You're just my type. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2011. Reddit -- FunnyPosted by u/chompy_jr August…
“Cataract is the third biggest cause of blindness. Religion and politics remain the first two”
"Cataract is the third biggest cause of blindness. Religion and politics remain the first two" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Cataract is the third biggest cause…