“By accepting their pardons, the turkeys are admitting guilt”
The U.S. president pardons turkeys at Thanksgiving, but were the turkeys ever really guilty of anything? "By accepting the pardon, the turkeys admitted their guilt" was posted on…
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“Cranberries without vodka? Must be Thanksgiving”
Cranberry is a traditional Thanksgiving meal side dish. Vodka usually is not associated with Thanksgiving, but there are cranberry vodka and Thanksgiving jokes. "Cranberries without #vodka ?…
“Everyone should be able to film one family Thanksgiving they can show to people to explain why they’re the way they are”
Few things show family dysfunction like Thanksgiving. This was posted on X/Twitter by trash jones on November 28, 2024, and it received over 1,400 likes: "everyone should be able to film one…
“I love how people act like Thanksgiving is the one day of the year that they overeat”
People might eat a lot of Thanksgiving, and they often blame weight gain on that, but what about all the other days of the year? This was posted on X/Twitter by Tank.Sinatra on November 15, 2016:…
“I may not be perfect or very good or adequate, but I return shopping carts to their appropriate location”
Returning a shopping cart feels like doing a civic duty, displaying a person's good character. This was posted on X/Twitter by Han Solo Cup on November 9, 2023, and it received over 1,100…
“I love how we’re pretending Thanksgiving is the *one* day we overeat”
People might eat a lot of Thanksgiving, and they often blame weight gain on that, but what about all the other days of the year? This was posted on X/Twitter by Tank.Sinatra on November 15, 2016:…
“USPS Tracking: 1. We’re not sure it exists. 2. It’s arrived.”
The United States Postal Service's tracking system is, perhaps, not the best, and a joke has a parcel being tracked at the extremes. "USPS Tracking: 1. We're not sure it exists. 2.…
“Cyber Monday is just Black Friday for people who avoided human contact like champions”
Cyber Monday sales can be just like Black Friday sales, but on Cyber Monday one shops from home and avoids the crowds of people. "Cyber Monday is just Black Friday for introverts who hate…
“Cyber Monday is just Black Friday in sweatpants with fewer witnesses”
Cyber Monday sales can be just like Black Friday sales, but on Cyber Monday one shops from home and avoids the crowds of people. "Cyber Monday is just Black Friday for introverts who hate…
“The Constitution was written for a country that no longer exists”
The Constitution of the United States was written in the 1780s. Is it an outdated document, or do its principles still apply today? "The constitution was written for a country that no longer…
“My favorite thing about humans may just be our ability to drench potatoes in mayonnaise and call it a salad with a straight face”
Many people do not view a potato salad (usually made without lettuce) as a salad. This was posted on X/Twitter by Troy Johnson on July 4, 2020, and it received over 750 likes: "My favorite…
“The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa”
The battery-operated game of Operation tests players' hand-eye coordination and fine motor skills, seemingly like a medical operation. Similar skills are required for dipping a tortilla chip…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? I can’t do this anymore”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow??? Fuck this”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? I’m done”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“It’s already today?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Screw this”
"It’s already today/tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow? Fuck this" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "It’s already tonight?? What’s next? Tomorrow???…
“How much turd do you put into a turducken?”
A "turducken" is a portmanteau food name after its ingredients -- turkey, duck and chicken. There is no "turd" in "turducken," but there are jokes. Wikipedia:…
“We battled” (Brooklyn Nets saying)
"We battled" is a saying of the New Jersey Nets (later the Brooklyn Nets)., meaning a valiant effort -- but a loss. Nets fans have often used it satirically. Avery Johnson was coach of…
“Dear Santa, Cash”
Not everyone wants presents for Christmas -- many people just need money. "Dear Santa, Cash" (also "Dear Santa, You leave cash" and "Dear Santa, You can leave cash")…