A plaque remaining from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem.

Above, a 1934 plaque from the Big Apple Night Club at West 135th Street and Seventh Avenue in Harlem. Discarded as trash in 2006. Now a Popeyes fast food restaurant on Google Maps.

Recent entries:
“Somewhere between a donut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
“Somewhere between a doughnut and a juice cleanse” (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP47 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP46 (7/13)
Entry in progress—BP45 (7/13)
More new entries...

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“I once worked as a salesman and was very independent. I took orders from no one”

Buddha Jumps Over the Wall or Buddha’s Temptation (Fo Tiao Qiang)

Laksa (spicy rice noodle soup)

Dry Hot Pot or Dried Hot Pot or Dry Pot (Gan Guo or Ganguo)

Stress-A-Ride (Access-A-Ride nickname)

Gyoza (Japanese Ravioli)

Knafcake (knafeh + cake)

Moroccan Cigar (meat/vegetable-filled crispy wrapper)

Mapo Tofu (Ma Po Tofu)

Chicken Lettuce Wrap (Yook Soong)

Many Trains Absent (Metropolitan Transportation Authority or MTA nickname)

Soda Jerk (Soda Jerker)

Onigiri (Japanese rice ball)

“What do you give a dog with a fever?”/“Mustard. It’s the best thing for a hot dog.”

Dango (Japanese sweet dumpling on a stick)

“Bullets are the only things that do their job after they’re fired”

Donburi (Japanese rice bowl)


Taiyaki (Japanese fish-shaped cake)

Foie Gras of the Sea (ankimo or monkfish liver)

“Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon”

“If only vegetables smelt as good as bacon”

“I hired a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov”

“Worries go down better with soup than without”

“A world without tomatoes is like a string quartet without violins”

“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee”

“A cupcake is happiness with icing on top”

“Worries go down better with ice cream”

“Spread love as thick as you would Nutella”

“Spread love as thick as you would peanut butter”

“There should be a calorie refund for things that didn’t taste as good as you expected”

“A recipe is a story that ends with a good meal”

“I want food, cuddles, attention and exercise. I’m basically a puppy”

“How do I stop eating chips and salsa? Do they run out…or do I die…or what?”

“All I want is food, cuddles, attention and exercise. I’m basically a puppy”

“I want to start juicing, but I’m hesitant because I don’t know how to juice pizza”

Shrimp Reunion (jumbo shrimp & spicy shrimp)

Prawns and Scallops in a Love Nest

“The most romantic thing you can ever do for me is buy me food”

“I saw the acronym NYFW (New York Fashion Week) and read it as Not Yafe For Work”

“I love you like the last slice of pizza”

Pipa Tofu (Pei Pa Tofu)

Triple Harvest (Chinese dish of beef, chicken and shrimp)

Happy Together (Chinese dish of shrimp and chicken)

Rocks for Jocks (Geology 101, or an easy college science course)

Physics for Poets (a science course for non-scientists)

“What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?”/“Time to build a new fence.”

“I quit as a taxi driver. Couldn’t stand all the people talking behind my back”

“Did you hear about the ATM that got addicted to money? It suffered from withdrawals”

“My wife just called me, ‘Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers’” (joke)

“Valentine’s Day is great, but the real holiday is February 15th, when all the candy goes on sale”

“How do you get a farm girl to like you?”/“A tractor.”

“Did Adam and Eve ever have a date?”/“No, they had an apple.”

“Never make snow angels in a dog park”

Dapanji or Da Pan Ji (Big Plate Chicken)

Tequila Daisy (cocktail)

Kaeng Pa (Thai Jungle Curry)

Dan Dan Mian (Dan Dan Noodles)

“The tug is the drug” or “The tug is my drug” (fishing saying)

Four King Kongs or Four Heavenly Kings (Shanghai dish of dabing, youtiao, doujiang and cifantuan)

Jiaozi (Chinese dumpling)

Peking Ravioli (Chinese dumplings)

Wok Hei (“the breath of a wok”)

Wok Chi (wok energy)

“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank on the job? He got hammered”

“Did you hear about the carpenter who drank too many screwdrivers? He got hammered”

Khachapuri (Georgian cheese-filled bread)

Torpedo Soup (Malaysian bull’s penis soup)

Statue of Liberty Play (football)

Statue of Liberty Slam Dunk (basketball)

Statue of Liberty Slam Dunk (basketball)

Broadway Bible (New York Morning Telegraph, Variety nickname)

“Pizza crusts are just free breadsticks”

Broadway Bible (New York Morning Telegraph, Variety nickname)

“People who live in glass houses should take out insurance”

“Say no to drugs. Then again, if you’re talking to drugs, you’re probably on drugs”

Silicon Bayou (New Orleans nickname)

Silicon Swamp (New Orleans nickname)

“My dad’s sister works in a Paris bakery and hates it. She’s a cross aunt”

“I keep trying to remember to buy new Post-It notes, but I don’t have anything to remind me”

“An Australian marsupial hops into a bar…” (bar joke)

“What happens when you eat aluminum foil?”/“You sheet metal.”

“Saying ‘drugs and alcohol’ is like saying ‘vegetables and potatoes’”

“I stayed in a hotel run by two contortionists. They bent over backwards for me”

“Exercise is just self-harm, but with benefits”

“Self-checkouts are for teenagers buying their first condoms”

“Every second is one second closer to your next ice cream”