“Good help is hard to find”
According to modern accounts, some slaveholders after the Emancipation Proclamation or after the Civil War refused to give up their slaves, stating "good help is hard to find." This story…
“Good intentions don’t move mountains, bulldozers do”
"There is an old saying that good intentions don't move mountains; bulldozers do," wrote management author Peter F. Drucker (1909-2005) in Managing the Non-Profit Organization:…
“Good morning. Don’t be a shitty person today”
"Good morning. Don't be a shitty person today" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Hey! Good morning! Don't be a shitty person today, okay?" was posted…
“Good morning. Don’t forget to drink water and mind your own business today”
"Drink water & mind your business" (also "Good morning. Don't forget to drink water and mind your own business," among other variations) is a saying that has been…
“Got a new job making periscopes. Things are looking up”
"Things are looking up" means that conditions are getting better. This usually doesn't involve actually looking up, but there are jokes. "I have had some good news today.I have…
“Got fired from the glue factory today. They said I wasn’t cut out for a fast paste work environment”
A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…
“Got sacked because I couldn’t make 1000 tubes of glue an hour. I wasn’t ready for a fast paste working environment”
A "fast paced working environment" shouldn't be written as "fast paste working environment," but there are jokes. "Fast paste environment" was printed in a…
“Gotta go to Mo’s!” (Modell’s Sporting Goods)
Modell's Sporting Goods has many stores throughout New York City. In 1994, it came up with it's catchy jingle, "Gotta Go To Mo's!" When you gotta go, you gotta go.…
“Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things”
"Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things" is a sayingthat has been printed on many images. "Grandfathers are for loving and fixing things" was printed in The Arizona Daily…
“Gray hairs are stress trophies”
Entry in progress -- BP X/Twitter Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric Welcome to your 40’s: they’re not gray hairs they’re stress trophies. You win. 11:25 AM · Dec 29, 2023 X/Twitter Rҽɳéҽ…
“Great attitude is like a perfect cup of coffee. Don’t start your day without it”
"Great attitude is like a perfect cup of coffee. Don't start your day without it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Coffee" is sometimes replaced with…
“Great attitude is like a perfect cup of coffee. Don’t start your day without it”
"Great attitude is like a perfect cup of coffee. Don't start your day without it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Coffee" is sometimes replaced with…
“Great ideas originate in the muscles”
"Great ideas originate in the muscles" means that the great ideas come from hard work. The quotation has been cited in print since at least 1991, when it was attributed to American…
“Groupon, are you crazy? If I had laser hair, I would never get it removed”
"Laser hair removal" is the process of hair removal with laser light. It is not the removal of "laser hair," but there are jokes. "If I had laser hair, I wouldn't have…
“Guitar Center is specifically for guitars. If you want a bass, you have to go to Bass Pro Shops”
A joke about the bass guitar was posted on X/Twitter by daniel (the account is now no longer available) on December 4, 2020: "guitar center is speCIFICALLY for guitars. if you want a bass you…
“Had a dream I was at work. Woke up and called off… I ain’t working twice!”
"Had a dream I was at work. Woke up and called off... I ain't working twice!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The joke is that the speaker sleeps at work.…
“Haircuts for New Yorkers” (Dramatics NYC)
"Haircuts for New Yorkers" is, perhaps, not the most thrilling of hair salon slogans. Dramatics NYC has also used "Wash, Cut and Entertainment."…
“Hairdressers: You’ve got to take your hat off to them”
The expression "you have to take your hat off to them" means that you've got to give them praise and credit. Some jokes. however, take the expression literally. "Hairdressers:…
“Hallmark implies the existence of Hallmatthew, Hallluke and Halljohn”
Hallmark Cards is the oldest and largest manufacturer of greeting cards in the United States. Hallmark has nothing to do with the Gospel of Mark (one of four New Testament gospels, along with…
“Halloween is right around the corner. You can tell because all the stores are decked out for Christmas”
Stores often display December's Christmas items even before Halloween -- in October. American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host Stephen Colbert…