“A consultant is someone who lives out of town”
"Consultant" is often defined as someone who lives out of town -- or at least 50 or 100 miles away. The consultant is called in, says the obvious, and then leaves. “A consultant is…
“A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee”
"A consultant is someone who saves his client almost enough to pay his fee" is a jocular saying that has been attributed to Arnold H. Glasgow, an American psychiatrist, since at least…
“A contortionist in the Philippines would be a Manila folder”
Many offices use manila folders. A riddle about them is: Q: What do you call a contortionist from the Philippines?A: A Manila folder. The joke has been cited in print since at least 1974.…
“A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door”
Entry in progress -- B.P. TwitterBrian Power@RhillrealtorA cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. www.richmondhillhomes.ca2:35 PM - 11 May 09 TwitterFunny One Liners@funnyonelinersA…
“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work”
"A day of worry is more exhausting than a day/week of work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Work is as necessary for peace of mind as for health of body. A day of…
“A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work”
"A day of worry is more exhausting than a day/week of work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Work is as necessary for peace of mind as for health of body. A day of…
“A deal is a deal” (business saying)
"A deal is a deal" means that a deal (such as a contract) has been agreed to and that its conditions shouldn't be changed. "None o' yer backin' out; a bargain's a…
“A diamond is a chunk of coal that made good under pressure”
"Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs" is the first line of a much-reprinted 1922 poem by Minnie Richards Smith. "He was a pessimist that said a diamond is only a…
“A dressmaker sews what she gathers; a farmer gathers what he sows”
Entry in progress -- BP Newspapers.com6 September 1900, Grant County Tribune (Hyannis, NE), pg. 7, col. 3:A farmer gathers what he sows while a seamstress sews what she gathers. TwitterAltrincham…
“A farmer once tried to sell me his bull. I didn’t buy it. He was charging too much”
Three jokes involve a bull and the pun of "charging too much." "We had a bull come to our front door selling red capes, but he was charging way too much" was posted on Facebook…
“A fish in sea” (“efficiency” pun)
"A fish in sea" sounds like the word "efficiency." There have been several puns and riddles. "Efficiency (A Fish In Sea), a film about a man's preoccupation with…
“A fraudster who installs kitchen worktops got arrested. He was charged with counter fitting”
"Counterfeiting" shouldn't be confused with "counter fitting," but there are jokes. "Two men were arrested for aligning granite slabs in a kitchen. They were charged…
“A friend of mine invented a washing machine for bank notes. It’s a real money spinner”
The term "money-spinner," used in the United Kingdom and Australia, means "something that generates a continuous income." It doesn't involve the actual spinning of money,…
“A friend of mine is always going on about photography jokes. You just can’t shutter up”
"Shutter" sounds like "shut her," and there are photography jokes. "You can lead a wife to a camera, but you can't shutter up" was posted on the newsgroup…
“A friend of mine takes his cash straight from the ATM and puts it in the washing machine. It’s a real money spinner”
The term "money-spinner," used in the United Kingdom and Australia, means "something that generates a continuous income." It doesn't involve the actual spinning of money,…
“A friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn”
"When someone told me I lived in a fantasy land/world, I nearly fell off my unicorn" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I was out riding with my girlfriend.…
“A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship”
Colgate Hoyt (1849-1922), an American businessman, said in 1901: "Business founded on friendship is friendship endangered, but friendship founded on business is friendship assured." John…
“A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand”
"A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand" is a popular "dad joke." "Me: 'How about one night stand?' She: 'That'll be $199…
“A goal is a dream with a deadline” (management aphorism)
"A goal is a dream with a deadline" means that a goal is a dream fitted to reality, with a deadline for its accomplishment. The saying has been attributed to Napoleon Hill (1883-1970),…
“A goal should scare you a little, and excite you a lot”
"A goal should scare you a little, and excite you a lot" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. Dr. Joe Vitale wrote in his book, The Attractor Factor: 5 Easy…