“Write two letters” (blaming predecessor joke)
According to an old joke, Joseph Stalin (1878-1953) gave to Nikita Khrushchev (1894-1971) -- or a corporate CEO gives to a successor -- two letters to open in case of emergency and extreme…
“WTF do you unemployed people do all fucking day? I’m going insane” (quarantine)
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many people to be quarantined in their homes. "This quarantine has me thinking a lot, and I just wanna know ... how do you unemployed people do this…
“Years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope and Johnny Cash” (joke)
American comedian and actor Bob Hope died on July 27, 2003. American singer-songwriter Johnny Cash died on September 12, 2003. American information technology entrepreneur Steve Jobs died on…
“Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday”
"Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday" is a jocular work -- or non-work -- saying that has been printed on many images. "Yesterday I didn't…
“Yesterday’s eyeliner can be today’s smokey eye if you just believe in yourself”
"Yesterday's eyeliner can be today's smokey eye if you just believe in yourself" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Yesterday's eyeliner…
“Yo mama is so dumb, she passed by the YMCA and said hey, they spelled MACYs wrong”
Macy's department store has been mentioned in a "yo mama" insult joke: "Yo mama is so stupid that when she walks by the YMCA she says, 'hey look, they spelled MACY's…
“Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs”
A popular "yo mama" insult "lazy joke" is: "Yo mama is so lazy, she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs." The joke was posted on the newsgroup…
“Yo mama’s so stupid, she asked for a price check at the 99-cent store”
Everyone knows that all items in a dollar store (or a 99-cent store) cost one dollar (or 99 cents), although very often selected items have different prices. A popular "yo mama joke"…
“You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk”
"You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk" is a jocular saying that has been cited in print since at least 1979, when it was called "Camille's…
“You are built not to shrink down to less, but to blossom into more”
"You are built not to be shrink down to less, but to blossom into more" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many images. American media executive, actress, talk show host,…
“You are not experiencing high call volume. You are experiencing low customer service staffing”
Telephone calls to a company's customer service often receive messages such as "Our phone options have changed" and "We are experiencing high call volume." "When is…
“You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm”
"You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm" (or "Don't set yourself on fire to keep others warm") is a saying that has been printed on many…
“You are only as sick as your secrets”
"You are only as sick as your secrets" is a saying that has been used by Alcoholics Anonymous since at least 1985. Addiction is a secret that makes people sick. The authorship of the…
“You are your best career adviser”
"You are your best career adviser/counselor/manager" is a popular saying in human resources. "You are your best career manager" was cited in print in a 1986 U.S. military…
“You can also do work the day after tomorrow. Be lazy. Think crazy”
"Be Lazy. Think crazy" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It's another version of the old saying, "Choose a lazy person to do a hard job because that person will…
“You can be right, or you can be rich”
"You can be right, or you can be rich" is a saying that has been printed on several images. "You can be right, or you can be rich" was printed in the book Secrets of the…
“You can either expect me to work well with others or pass a drug test. It can’t be both”
"Sorry, boss... You can either expect me to work well with others or pass a drug test. It can't be both" (or "I can either work well with others or pass a drug test. But not…
“You can expect what you inspect” (management adage)
"You can expect what you inspect" has been credited by Wikipedia to the American statistician and author W. Edwards Deming (1900-1993), but there's no evidence that he either coined…
“You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and the budget is big enough”
"You cannot fool all of the people all of the time" is an old saying, frequently (and falsely) attributed to Abraham Lincoln. American film producer Joseph E. Levine (1905-1987) is…
“You can give them a job layng down and they’ll stand up to quit”
"This generation don't want to work. You could give them a job laying down and they'll get up and quit" is a saying that has been printed on many images. There are several…