“What do you call a nightmare about paper?”/“A bad ream.”
A nightmare is a bad dream; a nightmare about paper might be "a bad ream." "Awful nightmare last night. I dreamt I'd dropped precisely 500 sheets of A4 paper everywhere. Just a…
“What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?”/“Retired.”
A retirement riddle has been printed on several images: Q: What do you call a person who is happy on Monday?A: Retired. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 20, 2014. TwitterRudeNCrude…
“What do you call a polite man who builds bridges?”/“A civil engineer.”
A "civil engineer" isn't necessarily polite, but there are jokes. "What do you call a really nice person who builds bridges? A civil engineer" was posted on twitter by…
“What do you call a retired miner?”/“Doug.”
A miner riddle is: Q: What do you call a retired miner?A: Doug (dug). The joke was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on March 4, 2019. Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/TheWhiskaz March 4, 2019What do you…
“What do you call a shoe store with only one owner?”/“A sole proprietorship.”
The business concept of a "sole proprietorship" has a pun: Q: What do you call a shoe store with only one owner?A: A sole proprietorship. The joke was cited in Stan Kegel's…
“What do you call a traveling salesman riding a bicycle?”/“A pedaler.”
"Peddler" shouldn't be confused with "pedaler," but this riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 10, 2022: Q: What do you call a traveling salesman riding a…
“What do you call a vampire on sale?”/“Discount Dracula.”
Count Dracula (the title character of Bram Stoker's 1897 gothic horror novel Dracula) has nothing to do with discounts, but there are jokes. "The cheapest vampire? Dis-Count Dracula"…
“What do you call a vampire who does his shopping on Black Friday?”/“Dis-Count.”
Count Dracula (the title character of Bram Stoker's 1897 gothic horror novel Dracula) has nothing to do with discounts, but there are jokes. "The cheapest vampire? Dis-Count Dracula"…
“What do you call an accountant with an opinion?”/“An auditor.”
Accountants are often joked to be less exciting people than auditors. An accounting joke is: Q: What do you call an accountant with an opinion?A: An auditor. The joke was cited on Twitter on…
“What do you call an atheist business?”/“A non-prophet organization.”
"Prophet" is sometimes used in business puns for the word "profit." "Atheism is a non-prophet organization" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1988.…
“What do you call security guards working outside Samsung shops?”/“Guardians of the Galaxy.”
The movie Guardians of the Galaxy came out in 2014, and many jokes involved the Samsung Galaxy mobile computing devices. "'Guardians of the Galaxy', some title indeed. Perhaps it has…
“What do you call someone who points out the obvious?”/“Someone who points out the obvious.”
A riddle was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on June 30, 2010: Q: What do you call someone who points out the obvious?A: Someone who points out the obvious. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“What do you call something that can’t be forklifted?”/“Unpalletable.”
"Unpalatable" (disagreeable or distasteful) is not the same thing as "unpalletable" (involving a pallet), but there are jokes. "Forklift operators do not care for puns -…
“What do you call the best salesman at a funeral home?”/“The Top Urner.”
"Top earner" sounds like "top urner." "Have you heard about the crematorium ceo? she was a top urner" was posted on Twitter on April 7, 2013. A riddle was posted on…
“What do you do for a living?”/“My best. I do my best.”
Entry in progress -- BP
“What do you do if you get rejected from a job at a sunscreen factory? Reapply!”
"I applied for a job at a sunscreen factory. Unfortunately, I didn't get it. No worries. I'm going to re-apply" is a joke that was posted on X/Twitter by Kim Harman on September…
“What do you say to an overworked clothing maker?”/“You seamstressed.”
"You seem stressed" sounds like "You seamstressed." "My mum was getting annoyed because of her job sewing things. I said 'You seamstressed'" was posted on…
“What does a pulley like the best about its position? It’s the center of a tension”
"What does a pulley like the best about its position? It's the center of a tension" -- a pun on "center of attention" -- was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 18, 2017.…
“What does an auctioneer need to know?”/“Lots.”
An auctioneer riddle has been cited in print since at least 2006: Q: What do you have to know to be an auctioneer? A: Lots. “What do you have to know to be a real estate salesman?"/”…
“What does Kmart stand for?”/“Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too.”
Kmart is an American department store chain. The "Kmart" name is not an acronym, but there's a riddle: Q: What does Kmart stand for?A: Kuz Mexicans Are Rich Too. The joke was posted…