“If you’ve seen one Santa, you’ve seen the mall”
Many shopping malls have Santa Claus displays for Christmas. “‘Santa isn’t real’ ok, I literally saw him at the mall” is a joke. "GOD IT SEEMS if you`ve seen one santa ..you`ve seen…
“If you’ve survived after hitting rock bottom, hardly anything can scare you”
"When you have hit rock bottom (before) and survived, there are very few things in life that can scare you" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“If you’re ever being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead”
"If you’re ever being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead" is jocular advice that has been printed on several images. "If you are being chased by a pack of…
“If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in”
If you're late for work, don't walk in with a smile on your face. Look angry or mad, as if the traffic, or a delayed bus or train, or something else held you back from that wonderful work…
“If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt”
"If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted…
“If your boss refuses to pay you more money, no problem. Just accuse them of raise-ism”
"Raise-ism" sounds a bit like "racism." "And asking for a raise is raiseism" was posted on Twitter on May 9, 2014. A work joke was posted on Twitter by LaffGaff on…
“If your boss says your team at work is ‘like family’ that means you can scream ‘YOU’RE NOT MY REAL MOM!’ and storm out…”
Work sometimes claims that it is "like family." This was posted on X/Twitte (the account is now private) by Laura Klein on March 1, 2022: "If your boss tells you your team at work is…
“If your job comes with an ‘appreciation week,’ you’re probably not getting paid enough”
"If someone's job requires an 'appreciation week' it means they're not getting paid enough" (or "If your job comes with an 'appreciation week,' you’re…
“If your job requires an ‘appreciation week’ it means you’re not getting paid enough”
"If someone's job requires an 'appreciation week' it means they're not getting paid enough" (or "If your job comes with an 'appreciation week,' you’re…
“If your job requires an appreciation week,’ you are probably not getting paid enough”
"If someone's job requires an 'appreciation week' it means they're not getting paid enough" (or "If your job comes with an 'appreciation week,' you’re…
“If your name is on the building, you’re rich”
American comedian Rich Hall said on the television show Late Night with Conan O'Brien on July 17, 1995: "When you go to work in the morning, if your name is on the building -- you're…
“If your ship doesn’t come in, swim out to it”
"When my ship comes in" is an idiom meaning "when my fortune arrives." People who have bad luck (and who doubt that their ship ever will come in) have added an extra ending to…
“If zombies attack, go to Costco…” (joke)
"If zombies attack, go to Costco..." (or "If zombies attack, go to Sam's Club...") is a joke that has been printed on many images. Here's why -- "There’s cement…
“If zombies attack, go to Sam’s Club…” (joke)
"If zombies attack, go to Costco..." (or "If zombies attack, go to Sam's Club...") is a joke that has been printed on many images. Here's why -- "There’s cement…
“IKEA is Swedish for divorce”
IKEAis a Swedish multinational group that is the world's largest furniture retailer. "IKEA" is an acronym that consists of the initials of Ingvar Kamprad (the founder), Elmtaryd (the…
“IKEA is testing a new restaurant experience at some of its stores…” (joke)
When a waiter says, “Your table will be ready shortly,” this does not mean that the restaurant is actually constructing a table, but there are jokes. “The waiter said, ‘Your table will be…
“IKEA: Legos for adults”
IKEA is a store that sells ready-to-assemble furniture. It's often been compared to children's LEGO plastic construction toys. "Adult Legos (IKEA)" was cited in May 2007.…
“Imagination is everything; it is the preview of life’s coming attractions”
"Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions" is a popular quotation frequently attributed to physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955), but there is no…
“Imagine if America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight. There would be mass confusion”
The term "mass confusion" sometimes actually involves confusion about mass. "If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight, would it create mass confusion?" was posted…
“Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction”
"Imperfect action is better than perfect inaction" is frequently credited to Harry S. Truman (1884-1972), but there is no evidence that he ever said it. "Imperfect action is better…