“If you want to get ahead, get a hat”
Wearing a hat used to be proper attire in business. "If you want to get ahead, get a hat" was a slogan by the British Hat Council. The slogan supposedly began in 1934, but newspapers in…
“If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans” (“Man plans, God laughs”)
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans" is a saying that's from the Yiddish proverb Der mentsh trakht und Gott lakht ("Man plans and God laughs"). Although the…
“If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map”
A business is said to be "on the map" when it becomes known to many and/or influential clients. "If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map" is a jocular…
“If you want to set up a company and run it then that’s your business”
"That's your business" usually means "that's your life/prerogative" and does not refer to an actual business, but there are jokes. “@cluedont: If you want to set up…
“If you want to start a company and run it yourself then that’s your business”
"That's your business" usually means "that's your life/prerogative" and does not refer to an actual business, but there are jokes. “@cluedont: If you want to set up…
“If you want to succeed, double your rate of failure”
Thomas J. Watson, Sr. (1874-1956), the chairman and CEO of IBM from 1914 to 1956, gave his formula for success -- "double your rate of failure" (or "double your failure rate").…
“If you want to understand how to fix a problem in the world, you have to ask who is profiting…”
"If you want to understand how to fix a problem in the world, you have to ask who is profiting from the problem. Not who is suffering from it" is a saying that has been printed on many…
“If you want your dreams to come true, don’t oversleep”
"If you want your dreams to come true, don't oversleep" is an aphorism that has been cited in print since at least 1912. The authorship of the saying is unknown. HathiTrust Digital…
“If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iWitness?” (joke)
"If you watch an Apple store get robbed, are you an iWitness?" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many ecards. "Joke....what do you call a person who sees a murder in an…
“If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for 8 years, you can believe in yourself for 5 minutes”
Some people lack self-confidence. "If you were able to believe in Santa Claus for like 8 years, you can believe in yourself for like 5 minutes/seconds" is an inspirational saying that has…
“If you work at a cemetery, every shift is a graveyard shift”
A "graveyard shift" is a night shift, such as one between midnight and 6 a.m. It does not necessarily involve a work shift at a cemetery, but there are jokes. "And for two summers, I…
“If you would be pungent, be brief”
A popular saying about speaking is: "If you would be pungent, be brief—for it is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed the deeper they burn." The line was published…
“If you’re going to quit anything, quit making excuses and quit waiting for the right time”
"If you're going to quit anything, quit making excuses and quit waiting for the right time" is a motivational saying that has been printed on several images. "2013 is gone be…
“If you’re having a bad day, an important thing to remember is that no one cares”
"If you're having a bad day, an important thing to remember is that no one cares" is a jocular saying that has been printed on an image. "No one cares if I’m having a bad day.…
“If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people”
"If you're having second thoughts, you're two ahead of most people" is a saying that has been printed on several images. That is, most people avoid thinking. "If…
“If you’re in need of a job, you could try Search and Rescue. They’re always looking for people”
"Search and recuse" is always "looking for people" -- not always to hire, but there are jokes. "Job Hunters Alert! Check out Local Search and Rescue! I hear they are always…
“If you’re not in the room, then you’re not at the table”
Entry in progress -- B.P. QuartzAugust 18, 2015The White House appointed its first openly transgender stafferWRITTEN BYAnnalisa Merelli(...)Wade Henderson, president of The Leadership Conference…
“If you’re not paying for it, you are the product”
MetaFilter poster blue_beetle wrote on August 26, 2010: "If you are not paying for it, you're not the customer; you're the product being sold." This means that, while Google and…
“If you’re not supposed to drink WD-40, why does it come with a straw?”
WD-40 is the trademark name of a water-displacing spray. A "smart straw" helps to spray the lubricant. "If they don't want you to drink the WD-40, why does it come with a…
“If you’re offered a seat on a rocket ship, don’t ask what seat. Just get on”
Sheryl Sandberg, an American technology executive with Google and then Facebook, spoke before the graduating class of Harvard Business School in May 2012. She said of her taking interview with…