“I’m a nurse. I’m here to save your ass, not kiss it”
"I'm a nurse. I'm here to save your ass, not kiss it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Google Books Title I'm a Nurse My Job Is to Save Your Ass Not Kiss…
“I’m actually pretty good with money, as long as I don’t go outside where all the stores are. or stay inside where my phone is”
Some people can't go outside because they see stores and they spend money. They also can't stay inside because they shop online. This joke was posted on X/Twitter by Jonathan Edward…
“I’m adding ‘showed up for work during the apocalypse’ to my résumé”
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic sent many people home to quarantines, but many essential workers stayed on the job. "I'm adding 'showed up for/to work during the apocalypse'…
“I’m allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm”
"I'm allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was posted on Twitter on September 25, 2012.…
“I’m always being forced to do things I’m not qualified for…like being nice to others”
"The hardest part of my job is being nice to stupid people" and "I'm not qualified to be nice to stupid people" are jocular work sayings that have been printed on many…
“I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower”
Many people's ancestors arrived on the Mayflower ship that landed in America in 1620. There was no ship called the "Juneflower," but there are jokes. "I'm always late. My…
“I’m always losing things at work…my glasses, my keys, my will to live…”
"I'm always losing things at work...my glasses, my keys, my will to live..." is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate losing things at work,…
“I’m an amateur crastinator. Someday I’ll turn pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“I’m an artist. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a doctor”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a nurse”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m at the point in my life where running errands counts as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m awake! Please respect my privacy during this very difficult time”
"I'm awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this…
“I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time”
"I'm awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this…
“I’m calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can’t see myself coming in to work”
"I'm calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can't see myself coming in to work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several ecards. An illustration usually shows…
“I’m considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?”
"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on October 25, 2010. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“I’m considering becoming a mind reader. What do you think?”
"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on October 25, 2010. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“I’m convinced that ‘noted’ is corporate version for saying ‘whatever’”
"'Noted' is the corporate version of 'whatever'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Whatever" is often used to express indifference,…