“I’m always late. My ancestors arrived on the Juneflower”
Many people's ancestors arrived on the Mayflower ship that landed in America in 1620. There was no ship called the "Juneflower," but there are jokes. "I'm always late. My…
“I’m always losing things at work…my glasses, my keys, my will to live…”
"I'm always losing things at work...my glasses, my keys, my will to live..." is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on many images. "I hate losing things at work,…
“I’m an amateur crastinator. Someday I’ll turn pro”
"I used to just crastinate. Then I decided to go pro" is a jocular procrastination saying that has been printed on many images. "I'm an amateur crastinator. Someday I'll…
“I’m an artist. I draw unemployment”
"I'm an artist. I draw unemployment" is a joke that has been cited in print since at least 1986 and 1989. "Now he's an artist for the state. He draws unemployment" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a doctor”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m aspirin’ to be a nurse”
"Aspiring" should not be confused with "aspirin," but there are jokes. "You see, I'm Aspirin' to become an agricultural tumour, sorry, a Farmer Cyst!" was…
“I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m at the point in my life where running errands counts as going out”
"I'm at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker is an adult who no longer goes out…
“I’m awake! Please respect my privacy during this very difficult time”
"I'm awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this…
“I’m awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time”
"I'm awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "i’m awake! please respect my privacy during this…
“I’m calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can’t see myself coming in to work”
"I'm calling in sick because of an eye problem. I can't see myself coming in to work" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several ecards. An illustration usually shows…
“I’m considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?”
"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on October 25, 2010. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“I’m considering becoming a mind reader. What do you think?”
"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by sickipediabot on October 25, 2010. The joke originated on the Sickipedia…
“I’m convinced that ‘noted’ is corporate version for saying ‘whatever’”
"'Noted' is the corporate version of 'whatever'" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "Whatever" is often used to express indifference,…
“I’m convinced that the employees of IKEA were just used to be customers”
IKEA stores are very large. "I'm convinced the employees of ikea are customers who ha no clue how to get out and just gave the fuck up" was posted on Twitter by Chris Young on…
“I’m crazy? I want a second opinion!”/“You’re ugly, too.”
A popular psychiatry joke has a psychiatrist tell a man, "You're crazy." "I want a second opinion," the man responds. "OK," says the doctor, "you're…
“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fu cologne”
"Leave me the fuck alone!" is not the name of a cologne, but there are jokes. "Its my cologne! called leave me the fuck alone! Haha" was posted on Twitter by Oleg D on June 19,…
“I’m developing a new fragrance for introverts: Leave me the fuck cologne”
"Leave me the fuck alone!" is not the name of a cologne, but there are jokes. "Its my cologne! called leave me the fuck alone! Haha" was posted on Twitter by Oleg D on June 19,…
“I’m either at work, going to work, coming from work, getting ready for work, getting some sleep for work, or thinking about not wanting to go to work”
"I'm either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The…