“I wish 8 hours of sleep went as slow as 8 hours of work”
"I wish 8 hours of sleep went as slow as 8 hours of work (or school)" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The hours of sleep seem to go by quickly, but the hours of work or…
“I wish I’d paid better attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“I wish I’d paid more attention during my first rodeo”
“This ain’t my first rodeo” (or "This is not my first rodeo") is a popular saying. It is an expression that means “I wasn’t born yesterday” (I’m not naive in these matters),…
“I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance”
"I wish travel therapy was covered by my health insurance" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "I think travel therapy and vacation ought to be covered by health…
“I woke up this morning and realized I don’t have what it takes to sit back and be average”
Entry in progress -- B.P. 15 October 2017, Journal-Gazette (Fort Wayne, IN), "Lead On: Authors shed light as bosses have their day," pg. H2:Here's a few sayings that surfaced on…
“I won’t use someone’s pronouns for the same reason I won’t talk to a schizophrenic’s imaginary friends”
"I won't use someone's pronouns for the same reason I won't talk to a schizophrenic's imaginary friends" is a saying that has been printed on many images. The speaker…
“I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it”
A zebra has stripes; some people have compared this to a barcode. "I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scanned it" is a jocular saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I wonder what it’s like to actually have your shit together. I bet it’s glorious. I bet they let you ride unicorns”
"I wonder what it's like to actually have your shit together. I bet it's glorious. I bet they let you ride unicorns" is a jocula saying that has been printed on several images.…
“I work as a living statue. It’s a permanent position”
Many job seekers want a "permanent position." A "permanent position" doesn't mean to become a statue, but there are jokes. "Finally managed to get myself a job as a…
“I work hard so my dog can have a better life”
"I work hard so my dog can have a better life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "Working hard so my dog can have a better life!" was posted on Twitter…
“I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold”
A joke was submitted to the UK Pun Championships by Colin Chadwick in February 2016: "I work in a paper factory, where my responsibilities are twofold." The pun is on "twofold,"…
“I worked as an executioner at a gallows, but I couldn’t get the hang of it”
Some people who work or who go to school can't "get the hang of it" (understand it). This expression usually has nothing to do with hanging, but there are jokes. "Why was the…
“I worked in an office on a cul-de-sac. It was a dead end job”
A dead end street is sometimes called a cul-de-sac. There are several cul-de-sac jokes relating to a "dead end job." "I used to work in a cul-de-sac but it was dead end job..."…
“I would die for shopping. I’m a Walmartyr”
The portmanteau word "Walmartyr" or 'Wal-Martyr" (Walmart + martyr) has had more than one meaning. Walmart (or Wal-Mart) is a chain of retail stores. The Urban Dictionary…
“I would never survive camping. I’ve already eaten all the snacks I packed for the day…”
Some people brings snacks to work, but eat them all right away. This was posted on Twitter by Ron Iver on June 21, 2022 and received over 17,400 likes: "I would never survive camping.…
“I would rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity”
"Someone once told me not to bite off more than I could chew. I said I would rather choke on greatness than nibble on mediocrity" is a motivational saying that has been printed on many…
“I write short fiction. They’re ‘to-do lists’”
For some people, a "to-do list" is a short list of things that they wish to do, but will not. "I’m really into writing short fiction, mainly to-do lists" was posted on…
“I’d like to see things from your point of view, but I can’t get my head that far up my ass”
"I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass" is a jocular put-down that has been printed on many images. Authorship is…
“I’d like to think I’m only mean to people who deserve it. Like a vigilante bitch. A bitchilante”
"Bitchilante (n.) Being mean only to people who deserve it" is a jocular definition that has been printed on many images. "Bitchilante" is a portmanteau of the words…
“I’d rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are” (poem)
"I'd rather be a Could Be, If I cannot be an Are" is a poem that Brooklyn-born author Robert W. Chambers (1865-1933) published in the book Iole (1905). The poem was reprinted in many…