“I’m retired. Every day is Saturday”
"I'm retired. Every day is Saturday" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Every Day is Saturday (1934) was the title of a collection of essays from The New Yorker…
"I'm retired. Every day is Saturday" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Every Day is Saturday (1934) was the title of a collection of essays from The New Yorker…
"I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and I'm tired again today" (or "I'm retired. I was tired yesterday and now I'm tired again") is a jocular saying that has…
"I'm rubber, you're glue; whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you" is a children's saying about insults. "Markydoodoo" posted a different version of…
"I'm running out of unproductive things to do at work" is a jocular statement that has been printed on a Rottenecard. "I'm running out of unproductive things to do at…
"I'm so single when they ask for an emergency contact, I've just been putting Jesus" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. Many employers and health…
Some call centers always seem to state that they are experiencing a higher volume of calls than average, and they always place customers on hold. "Why is it that all the places one calls are…
"I'm looking to start up my own business, recycling discarded chewing gum. Just need help getting it off the ground" was posted on Twitter by Sickipedia Official (and many others) on…
"I'm staying home today. I have mood poisoning" -- a pun on "food poisoning -- is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "I’m staying home today! I’ve…
"I'm still tired from yesterday's tired" and "I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and I've already used up…
"I'm still tired from yesterday's tired" and "I'm still tired from yesterday's tired. Today isn't looking so good, and I've already used up…
An antique shop sells old things, and "antique shop" has become equivalent to "nothing new." "Having seen your offense once is like unto having viewed an 'antique…
"Handbooks" are usually not about hands, but sometimes they are. "I'm quite the expert on palmistry, I've written a handbook" was posted on Twitter by sikjokes2011 on…
"Sole provider" means the only provider. It usually doesn't mean the provider of shoe soles, but there are jokes. "I'm the sole provider for my family. They can buy the…
A joke about the job of estimating crowds is: "I am thinking about pursuing a job as a crowd estimator. I wonder how many people are in that field." The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes…
"I'm tired of seeing ya'll enjoying summer. Get a job and be miserable like the rest of us" is a jocular summer saying that has been printed on many images. "Hope every had…
"The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" is an old proverb meaning that everyone's situation in life is seemingly (if not actually) more desirable than one's…
"Mad skillz" is slang for "very skilled." A joke was posted on Twitter by "Polythene Spam" on April 1, 2010: "I'm working on a cover letter. Should I use the…
"I've always wondered why there is a day dedicated to fools. I see fools every day and frankly, I'm sick of it" is a saying that has been printed on ecards. "RT @MissHMQ:…
Many people have been on hold for a long time on their phone calls. "I've been on hold so long that I can't remember who I've called..." was posted on Twitter by…
"Things are looking up" means that conditions are getting better. This usually doesn't involve actually looking up, but there are jokes. "I have had some good news today.I have…