“Have you seen the bus website?”/“Yes - it’s just the ticket!”
A bus joke is: "Have you seen the bus website?""Yes - it's just the ticket!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. Scatty -- Internet Jokes (March 9,…
“Having a beer for breakfast is totally acceptable in an airport”
People usually don't drink beer for breakfast, but that's acceptable at airports. Many people are on vacation and are coming from different time zones. "Kicking off my vacation in…
“Having one of those ‘just tried to lock the house with my car remote’ days”
The car remote (key fob) can't lock the house, but many people get this confused. "Just tried unlocking the house with my car remote. Unsurprisingly it didn't work. Did have to go…
“He who hesitates is not only lost, but several miles from the next exit”
"He who hesitates is lost" is a proverb that dates back to at least the 18th and 19th centuries. The proverb has had several jocular anti-proverb endings. "When driving, is it…
“Honk if a kid falls out” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if a kid falls out" (or "Honk if the kids fall out" or "Honk if one of my kids flies out" or "Honk if a kid fell out") is a jocular saying that has…
“Honk if one of my kids flies out” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if a kid falls out" (or "Honk if the kids fall out" or "Honk if one of my kids flies out" or "Honk if a kid fell out") is a jocular saying that has…
“Honk if parts fall off” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if (you see) parts fall off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "I saw a funny bumpersticker on an old pickup truck yesterday: Honk If You See…
“Honk if you love Jesus. Text if you want to meet him” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if you love Jesus. Text while driving if you want to meet him" is a popular bumper sticker to discourage texting while driving. "Honk if you love Jesus" has been on bumper…
“Honk if you love peace and quiet” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if you love peace and quiet" is a jocular bumper sticker saying. The saying was cited in a 1993 Indiana newspaper. 3 March 1993, Columbia County Chronicle (Augusta, GA), "This…
“Honk if you see parts fall off” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if (you see) parts fall off" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many bumper stickers. "I saw a funny bumpersticker on an old pickup truck yesterday: Honk If You See…
“Honk if you think I’m sexy” (bumper sticker)
"Honk if you think I'm sexy" bumper stickers have been cited in print since at least 1997. "I have a bumper sticker that says 'Honk if you think I'm sexy.' Then…
“Honk twice if you want to see a cool gun” (bumper sticker)
"Honk twice if you want to see a cool gun" (or "Honk twice to see a cool gun") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if you honk twice, the…
“Honk twice to see a cool gun” (bumper sticker)
"Honk twice if you want to see a cool gun" (or "Honk twice to see a cool gun") is a bumper sticker saying that has been printed on many images. That is, if you honk twice, the…
“Horn broke—watch for finger” (bumper sticker)
"Horn broke(n) -- watch for finger" has been a popular bumper sticker slogan since at least 1995. The authorship of the humorous saying is unknown. While "giving people the…
“Horsepower is what you read about, but torque is what you feel” (automotive saying)
"Horsepower is what you read about, but torque is what you feel" is a motor vehicle saying of unknown authorship. "There's a saying among racers that goes like this:…
“How am I driving? How does an engine even work? How can a loving God cause such agony” (bumper sticker)
"How am I driving? How does an engine even work? How can a loving God cause such agony” (or "How’s my driving? How does an engine even work? Why would a loving God cause such…
“How can you get to see the official bird of New York City?”/“Cut someone off.”
New York City does not have an official bird. New York State's official bird is the eastern bluebird. It's sometimes said that the official "bird" of New York City is the middle…
“How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?”/“It hugged the shore.”
Do ships "hug" the shore? A popular Thanksgiving riddle is: Q: How did the Mayflower show that it liked America? A: It hugged the shore. The Thanksgiving joke has been cited in print…
“How did the wine glass get home?”/“A cab.”
A cab (a taxi) should not be confused with a Cab (Cabernet Sauvignon), but there are jokes. "Went to a lovely wine tasting and took a cab home. very indulgent" was posted on Twitter on…
“How do 37 mathematicians board a bus with only 36 seats?”/“They carry the one.”
A mathematics joke/riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 18, 2023: Q: How do 37 mathematicians board a bus with only 36 seats?A: They carry the one. Reddit -- Dadjokes Posted by…