“Serious as a snake bite” (“Serious as a snakebite”)
"Serious as a snake bite" (or "serious as a snakebite") means very serious, indeed. A snake bite could cause serious illness or death -- and Texas has plenty of snakes. The…
“Serving great food since the hippies showed up” (Waterloo Ice House, Austin)
The Waterloo Ice House began in 1976 and now has several locations in Austin. Waterloo is known for its American fare -- such as hamburgers and beer -- but it's also family friendly.…
“She’s so ugly she’d make a freight train take a dirt road”
"She's so ugly she'd make a freight train take a dirt road" (the expression has also been used to describe an ugly man) means someone who is so very ugly that, metaphorically, a…
“Show us your shoes!” (San Antonio Battle of Flowers Parade cry)
"Show us your shoes!" is a cry made at San Antonio's Fiesta in late April, at the Battle of Flowers Parade. The dutchesses, queen, and princess on royalty floats often wear tennis…
“Since Christ was a cowboy” (“Since Jesus was a cowboy”)
"Since Christ was a cowboy" (less frequently given as "since Jesus was a cowboy") means "a long time." A similar phrase is "since Hector was a pup." The…
“Slicker than owl shit” (very slick)
To be "slicker than owl shit" is to be very slick. The expression is popular throughout the South, but possibly originated in Texas. "Alcalde oil is as slick as owl grease" was…
“Slow walk” (“low and slow” barbecue)
The Original Texas Barbecue King in downtown Los Angeles, California advertises: Barbecue King started out as the brainchild of Rod Daniels, using many of the recipes handed down to him by his…
“So dry the Baptists are sprinkling, the Methodists are spitting…” (Texas heat joke)
The extremely hot Texas weather has been the subject of many jokes, such as this one (from 1953): "It is so dry that the Baptists are sprinkling and the Methodists are using just a damp…
“So would hell” (rancher on being told Texas would be a great place if it had water)
"This would be a fine country if it only had water," a newcomer to Texas is alleged to have said. An old Texan giving up and heading back east replied, "So would hell!" This…
“Some folks look at me and see swagger, which in Texas is called ‘walking’” (George W. Bush)
George W. Bush accepted the Republican nomination for president in September 2004 in New York City, stating: "Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called…
“Some Village in Texas Is Missing Its Idiot”
"Somewhere in Texas a Village Is Missing Its Idiot" appeared on T-shirts and bumper stickers in 2000, as George W. Bush ran for president. The term "village idiot" has been in…
“Something rotten in the cotton”
"Something (is) rotten in the cotton" is a Southern expression meaning that something is wrong. U.S. president Lyndon B. Johnson (1908-1973) is credited with saying it. "Something…
“Sorry, We’re Open” & 24/8 (Magnolia Cafe, Austin)
The Magnolia Cafe in Austin (two locations) is open 24 hours a day. Instead of a "Sorry, We're Closed" sign, it has a "Sorry, We're Open" sign. The restaurant proudly…
“Space cowboys imply the existence of space cows”
A "space cowboy" is someone who smokes marijuana (and gets "spaced out"). "Don't Space Cowboys have -er- Space Cows?" is a joke that was posted on the newsgroup…
“Standing Over Texas” (Tex Randall statue slogan)
"Tex Randall" is the name that was given in 1987 to the 47-foot-tall statue in Canyon, Texas, in Randall County. The statue was originally built in 1959 to promote a Western curio shop…
“Start Here. Get There.” (Austin Community College)
"Start Here. Get There." is the slogan of Austin Community College, trademarked from 1999. The college emphasizes that it's a good place for local residents to start a career. ACC…
“Steers and Queers”
Texas has been called a "land of steers and queers." Sometimes, "beers" is added to that. The "steers and queers" chant has long been a popular Southern Methodist…
“Stick a fork in him (he’s done)”
"Stick a fork in him" means "he's done." It's a barbecue term; the piece of meat is cooked and you can stick a fork in it and take it off the grill. The term is used…
“Strike the next question” (Texas lawyer joke)
A dumb lawyer, on the verge of asking a stupid question, interrupted himself and said: "Your Honor, I'd like to strike the next question." There's nothing particularly Texan…
“Take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila”
"I take life with a grain of salt, a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila" has appeared on gift items since the 1990s/early 2000s. (Also given as: "I take life with a grain of salt,…