“If you snooze, you lose”
"If you snooze, you lose" has been the advertising pitch of many in retail sales. Tom Parsons' Best Fares (bestfares.com), based in Irving, Texas, has long used (since the 1980s) the…
“If you think you can, you can” (Mary Kay Ash?)
The cosmetics founder Mary Kay Ash (1918-2001) is often credited with: "If you think you can, you can. If you think you can, you're right." However, she admitted that she received…
“If you took all the fools out of the Lege, it wouldn’t be a representative body”
"If you took all the fools out of the Texas Legislature (Lege), it wouldn't be a representative body" is a remark that has been cited in print since at least 1986. Texas writer Molly…
“In queso emergency, go to your nearest TexMex restaurant”
"In queso emergency, go to your nearest TexMex restaurant" is a jocular saying that was cited on Twitter on November 20, 2012. "I always keep a Mexican restaurant on speed dial in…
“In queso emergency, I pray to Cheesus”
"In queso emergency, (I) pray to Cheesus" is a jocular saying that has been printed on posters and T-shirts. "IN QUESO EMERGENCY I PRAY TO CHEESUS" was cited on The Lolbrary on…
“In Texas we don’t have actual fall, we have fauxl”
Texas is sometimes given more than four seasons. One extra season is called "fake fall" or "false fall" or "faux fall," sometimes called "fauxl." "Faux…
“In Texas we salt margaritas, not sidewalks”
A margarita cocktail is often served in a glass with a salted rim. A cold climate area might use salt on sidewalks and roads to prevent icing. "We salt margaritas, not sidewalks" (or…
“In Texas we take road trips to other parts of Texas”
Texas is a very large state. When Texans take road trips, they're usually still in Texas. "Texans take road trips to other parts of Texas" was posted on X/Twitter by Apok842 on…
“In Texas, ‘hot yoga’ is just called ‘yoga’”
"Hot yoga" is when yoga is performed under hot and humid conditions. Texas is hot, and many people have said that any yoga performed outdoors in Texas is hot yoga. "#Texas is like…
“In Texas, all yoga is hot yoga”
"Hot yoga" is when yoga is performed under hot and humid conditions. Texas is hot, and many people have said that any yoga performed outdoors in Texas is hot yoga. "#Texas is like…
“In Texas, the shade is just diet sun”
Some people assume that it is cooler in the shade. People in the South know that it is still hot. "In the South, shade is just diet Sun" was posted on Twitter by clark glizzwald on July…
“In Texas, the shortest distance between two points is likely under construction”
"How come the shortest distance between two points is always under construction?" is a jocular line about driving that was published in Changing Times -- The Kiplinger Magazine in…
“In the South, shade is just diet sun”
Some people assume that it is cooler in the shade. People in the South know that it is still hot. "In the South, shade is just diet Sun" was posted on Twitter by clark glizzwald on July…
“Ingredients for Life” & “Your Remarkable Store” (Randalls slogans)
Randalls is a Texas-based food and drug store chain. Randalls joined the Safeway chain of supermarkets in 1999; since 2005, the slogan of both companies has been "Ingredients for Life."…
“Isn’t Texas cute?” (Alaskan T-shirt)
"Isn't Texas cute?" is a popular T-shirt; the outline of Alaska is shown, with the state of Texas fit inside it (clearly showing which state is larger). The shirt has been printed…
“It always rains at the end of a long dry spell” (weather joke)
Some parts of Texas don't get much rain. "It always rains at the end of a long dry spell" is a Texas weather joke from at least 1909. 5 March 1909, Fort Worth (TX) Star-Telegram,…
“It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill, as long as you don’t lose the cow”
"It doesn’t matter how much milk you spill, just so long as you don’t lose the cow" was popularized by business author Harvey Mackay, who used this line in his book, Swim With the…
“It looks like a toothpick in a pie” (J. Frank Dobie on UT tower)
Folklorist J. Frank Dobie (1888-1964) was no fan of the University Tower on the campus of the University of Texas at Austin. The twoer was completed in 1937. Dobie refused to move into an office in…
“It’s 110 degrees, but it’s a dry heat” (Texas heat joke)
In Arizona, Texas and other parts of the west, the temperature often averages over 100 degrees during the summer. "But it's a dry heat!" is the clichéd response that some natives…
“It’s a good book, but everyone gets killed in the end” (Pete Gent on Dallas Cowboys playbook)
Pete Gent was a Dallas Cowboys football player (1964-1968) under coach Tom Landry. Landry's playbook was known to be top secret and enormously complicated. Gent would write a 1973 novel about…