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January 14, 2016
Sports/Games

“I ordered tennis balls on the internet, but the site crashed. Must be problems with the server”

Websites often have a problem with a "server," providing the basis of tennis puns. "Just tried to get on the British Tennis Association's website but they're having…

March 17, 2018
Sports/Games

“I passed my paintball exam with flying colours”

Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a paintball exam. "I passed my paintball exam with flying…

December 15, 2019
Sports/Games

“I paused my game to be here” (gaming saying)

"I paused my game to be here" is a jocular gaming saying that has been printed on many images. For a gamer to pause a game, something else must be very important! "Rocket Factory I…

February 25, 2016
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“I played a great horse yesterday. It took seven horses to beat him”

A classic racetrack joke is: "I bet on a wonderful horse. It took seven horses to beat him." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1942. New York-born comedian Joe E. Lewis…

November 7, 2019
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“I played frisbee with my dog today. I think I need a flatter dog”

"I try to do a bit of exercise every now and then. Last week I was playing Frisbee with my dog, It wasn't very good. I'll have to get a flatter dog" is a joke from Irish actor…

January 9, 2018
Sports/Games

“I played in a snooker tournament for the emotionally unstable. I was first to break”

In the game of snooker, one player is "first to break." "Interrogating snooker players is SO easy. They're always the first to break" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on…

February 16, 2017
Sports/Games

“I really love my fanbase…without it my fan would fall over”

Sports and entertainment stars have "fans," and there's a joke: "I really love my fanbase...without it my fan would fall over." The joke was posted to Twitter on December…

August 22, 2022
Sports/Games

“I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake. I feel like canoe person”

"every time I read the phrase 'I feel like a new person' I hear QP saying 'I feel like canoe person'" was posted on Twitter by BloodBrimmadome on December 2, 2017.…

November 30, 2025
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresSports/Games

“I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space at the supermarket today. I couldn’t help wondering what their handicap was”

A personal disability (or handicap) is different from a golf handicap, but there are jokes. "i saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space outside work this morning.i thought to…

November 30, 2025
Sports/GamesWork/Businesses

“I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space outside work this morning. I thought to myself, ‘I wonder what his handicap is?’”

A personal disability (or handicap) is different from a golf handicap, but there are jokes. "i saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space outside work this morning.i thought to…

January 21, 2025
Sports/GamesWork/Businesses

“I saw a sticker in the sports shop saying ‘Trampolines Half Price.’ I jumped on the offer”

To "jump" at an offer is to accept it quickly, before it expires or is taken by someone else. No actually jumping is usually involved, but there are jokes. "A trampoline was selling…

November 29, 2020
Sports/Games

“I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye”

"I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye" is a pun on the famous line in the Johnny Cash song "Folsom Prison Blues" (1953), "I shot a man in Reno, just to…

January 12, 2018
Sports/Games

“I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in Steam”

Steam is a platform for video games. Money often goes "up in smoke," but a video gaming joke is: "I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in…

December 4, 2024
Food/DrinkSports/Games

“I suspect there will never be an edible version of Scrabble. But if there is, I’ll eat my words”

The expression "eat my words" is usually not taken literally, but there are Scrabble jokes. "I don't think there will ever be an edible version of Scrabble. Having said that,…

April 30, 2019
Sports/Games

“I swim because I’m too sexy for a sport that requires clothes”

"I swim because I'm too sexy for a sport that requires clothes" (or "We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes") is a swimming saying that has been…

February 8, 2025
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthSports/Games

“I think church should be more like football. If the pastor gives a good sermon, dump a cooler of Gatorade on his head!”

A winning coach or player in sports (especially football) often receives a "Gatorade shower." Some people believe that church should have similar enthusiasm. "It's that time of…

July 3, 2017
Sports/Games

“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”

The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…

October 17, 2017
Sports/Games

“I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me”

A boomerang pun was posted on Twitter on October 31, 2009: "I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me." The ghost joke has been popular around…

September 7, 2016
Sports/Games

“I took up fencing once, but I couldn’t see the point”

"I really don't see the point of fencing" is a fencing pun that was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2008. "I honestly don't see the point in the fencing" was posted on…

March 31, 2015
Pets (Dogs, Cats, Horses)Sports/Games

“I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned”

Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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