“I met a girl at a soccer game. I think she’s a keeper”
"She's a keeper" means that a person has found a good person for a partnership. "Keeper" in soccer (association football) means a "goalkeeper." "#manrules if…
“I must be in the front row”
Bob Uecker has a mediocre baseball playing career, but he achieved fame joking about it. In a Miller Lite beer commercial from 1984, Uecker says that the front office has given him tickets and he…
“I once dated a champion snow skier, but our relationship went downhill fast”
Many skiing jokes have it that things started off OK, but "went downhill." "couple met on ski trip? .things went downhill after that" was posted on X/Twitter by Mick O Callaghan…
“I once entered the World Kleptomaniac Championships. I took gold, silver and bronze”
"I entered a kleptomania competition. I got gold, silver and bronze" was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on May 28, 2019, and again on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2019. "I once…
“I ordered tennis balls on the internet, but the site crashed. Must be problems with the server”
Websites often have a problem with a "server," providing the basis of tennis puns. "Just tried to get on the British Tennis Association's website but they're having…
“I passed my paintball exam with flying colours”
Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a paintball exam. "I passed my paintball exam with flying…
“I paused my game to be here” (gaming saying)
"I paused my game to be here" is a jocular gaming saying that has been printed on many images. For a gamer to pause a game, something else must be very important! "Rocket Factory I…
“I played a great horse yesterday. It took seven horses to beat him”
A classic racetrack joke is: "I bet on a wonderful horse. It took seven horses to beat him." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1942. New York-born comedian Joe E. Lewis…
“I played frisbee with my dog today. I think I need a flatter dog”
"I try to do a bit of exercise every now and then. Last week I was playing Frisbee with my dog, It wasn't very good. I'll have to get a flatter dog" is a joke from Irish actor…
“I played in a snooker tournament for the emotionally unstable. I was first to break”
In the game of snooker, one player is "first to break." "Interrogating snooker players is SO easy. They're always the first to break" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on…
“I really love my fanbase…without it my fan would fall over”
Sports and entertainment stars have "fans," and there's a joke: "I really love my fanbase...without it my fan would fall over." The joke was posted to Twitter on December…
“I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake. I feel like canoe person”
"every time I read the phrase 'I feel like a new person' I hear QP saying 'I feel like canoe person'" was posted on Twitter by BloodBrimmadome on December 2, 2017.…
“I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space at the supermarket today. I couldn’t help wondering what their handicap was”
A personal disability (or handicap) is different from a golf handicap, but there are jokes. "i saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space outside work this morning.i thought to…
“I saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space outside work this morning. I thought to myself, ‘I wonder what his handicap is?’”
A personal disability (or handicap) is different from a golf handicap, but there are jokes. "i saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled parking space outside work this morning.i thought to…
“I saw a sticker in the sports shop saying ‘Trampolines Half Price.’ I jumped on the offer”
To "jump" at an offer is to accept it quickly, before it expires or is taken by someone else. No actually jumping is usually involved, but there are jokes. "A trampoline was selling…
“I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye”
"I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye" is a pun on the famous line in the Johnny Cash song "Folsom Prison Blues" (1953), "I shot a man in Reno, just to…
“I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in Steam”
Steam is a platform for video games. Money often goes "up in smoke," but a video gaming joke is: "I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in…
“I suspect there will never be an edible version of Scrabble. But if there is, I’ll eat my words”
The expression "eat my words" is usually not taken literally, but there are Scrabble jokes. "I don't think there will ever be an edible version of Scrabble. Having said that,…
“I swim because I’m too sexy for a sport that requires clothes”
"I swim because I'm too sexy for a sport that requires clothes" (or "We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes") is a swimming saying that has been…
“I think church should be more like football. If the pastor gives a good sermon, dump a cooler of Gatorade on his head!”
A winning coach or player in sports (especially football) often receives a "Gatorade shower." Some people believe that church should have similar enthusiasm. "It's that time of…