“I passed my paintball exam with flying colours”
Students who pass an exam easily are said to do so "with flying colors." It's sometimes joked that the test was a paintball exam. "I passed my paintball exam with flying…
“I paused my game to be here” (gaming saying)
"I paused my game to be here" is a jocular gaming saying that has been printed on many images. For a gamer to pause a game, something else must be very important! "Rocket Factory I…
“I played a great horse yesterday. It took seven horses to beat him”
A classic racetrack joke is: "I bet on a wonderful horse. It took seven horses to beat him." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1942. New York-born comedian Joe E. Lewis…
“I played frisbee with my dog today. I think I need a flatter dog”
"I try to do a bit of exercise every now and then. Last week I was playing Frisbee with my dog, It wasn't very good. I'll have to get a flatter dog" is a joke from Irish actor…
“I played in a snooker tournament for the emotionally unstable. I was first to break”
In the game of snooker, one player is "first to break." "Interrogating snooker players is SO easy. They're always the first to break" is a pun that was posted on Twitter on…
“I really love my fanbase…without it my fan would fall over”
Sports and entertainment stars have "fans," and there's a joke: "I really love my fanbase...without it my fan would fall over." The joke was posted to Twitter on December…
“I recently started taking my paddle boat out on the lake. I feel like canoe person”
"every time I read the phrase 'I feel like a new person' I hear QP saying 'I feel like canoe person'" was posted on Twitter by BloodBrimmadome on December 2, 2017.…
“I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye”
"I shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye" is a pun on the famous line in the Johnny Cash song "Folsom Prison Blues" (1953), "I shot a man in Reno, just to…
“I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in Steam”
Steam is a platform for video games. Money often goes "up in smoke," but a video gaming joke is: "I spent too much money on video games this month. All of my savings have gone up in…
“I swim because I’m too sexy for a sport that requires clothes”
"I swim because I'm too sexy for a sport that requires clothes" (or "We swim because we are too sexy for a sport that requires clothes") is a swimming saying that has been…
“I think it’s wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly”
The game of Monopoly has been published by Parker Brothers -- and only Parker Brothers -- since 1935. A popular joke is: "I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game…
“I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me”
A boomerang pun was posted on Twitter on October 31, 2009: "I threw a boomerang at a ghost the other day. I knew it would come back to haunt me." The ghost joke has been popular around…
“I took up fencing once, but I couldn’t see the point”
"I really don't see the point of fencing" is a fencing pun that was posted on Twitter on August 9, 2008. "I honestly don't see the point in the fencing" was posted on…
“I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned”
Polo is played on horses; water polo is not. A popular joke is: "I tried playing water polo, but my horse drowned." The joke has been cited in print since at least 1968. 18 May 1968,…
“I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court”
"I tried suing someone for stealing my basketball, but it got thrown out of court" -- a pun also on "basketball" court -- is a joke that was posted on Sickipedia and Twitter on…
“I used to be addicted to swimming, but I’m very proud to say I’ve been dry for two years”
A joke about swimming -- and drinking -- was posted on Twitter by Alfie Moore on March 31, 2013: "I used to be addicted to swimming but I'm proud to say I've been dry for two years…
“I want to live with the NY Jets. They don’t beat anybody”
A classic sports joke about a losing team (insert any team's name) has a judge deciding custody in a divorce proceeding. The child says that both his father and his mother beat him.…
“I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary” (Yogi Berra Night)
New York Yankees rookie player Yogi Berra (1925-2015) was honored with a Yogi Berra Night on June 6, 1947 at his old neighborhood in St. Louis, Missouri. Berra wrote in the book When You Come to a…
“I wanted to try water skiing but I couldn’t find a sloping lake”
Water skiing doesn't require a slope (like a ski slope), but there are jokes. "Joe Kowalski hasn't used his new water-skis yet; he can't find a sloping lake: was printed in The…
“I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won…” (joke)
The New York Yankees don't have anything to do with the Yankees of the Civil War, but there's a joke: "I was in NYC and this black guy asked me if the Yankees won, I said, 'Yeah…