“Horse sense is what keeps horses from betting on people”
"Horse sense is something a horse has that keeps him from betting on people. (MBS broadcast)" was cited in Reader's Digest in 1942. “Horse sense is something a horse has that keeps…
“Horses can’t read the tote board” (horse racing adage)
A tote board displays the odds on each horse in a race, but the horses don't know the odds. "Horses can't read the tote board" is a horse racing saying. "But as the late…
“How about that!” (Yankee announcer Mel Allen catchphrase)
"How about that!" was the catchphrase of Mel Allen (1913-1996), the sports announcer who was called the "Voice of the Yankees." Allen's 1996 New York (NY) Times obituary…
“How come, when my wife says ‘we need to talk,’ it’s never about football?”
A joke was posted on Twitter by FunnyOneLiners on January 7, 2010: "How come, when my wife says 'we need to talk,' it's never about football?" "Football" in…
“How did Scrooge win the football game?”/“The ghost of Christmas passed!”
A popular Christmas riddle based on the Cherles Dickens story A Christmas Carol> is: Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?A: The ghost of Christmas passed! The joke has been cited in print…
“How did the hipster drown?”/“He went ice skating before it was cool.”
A hipster riddle has been printed on several images: Q: How did the hipster drown?A: He went ice skating before it (the lake -- ed.) was cool. The riddle is funny only if the listener knows that it…
“How do hens encourage their football teams?”/“They egg them on.”
A hen riddle is: Q: How do hens encourage their football teams?A: They egg them on. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 20 May 2001, Sunday Telegraph (Surry Hills, New South…
“How do you ask out a D&D player?”/“Ask them for a D8.”
A Dungeons & Dragons riddle is: Q: How do you ask out a D&D player?A: Ask them for a D8 (date). The joke has been cited in print since at least 2016 and has been printed on several images.…
“How do you do the wave at a chess match?”/“With your eyebrows.”
Sports fans in many stadiums do "the wave." There's a chess joke: Q: How do chess crowds do the wave?A: With their eyebrows. The joke was told by American columnist and author…
“How do you get a grandmother to swear?”/“Have another say ‘Bingo!’”
A popular bingo joke is: Q: How do you get a grandmother to swear?A: Have another grandmother say "Bingo!" The joke has been cited in print since at least 1992. Google Groups:…
“How do you keep bacon from curling in the pan?”/“You take away its tiny brooms.”
Bacon curls in the frying pan. This has nothing to do with the sport of curling, but there is a joke: Q: How do you stop bacon from curling in the frying pan?A: You take away its tiny brooms! The…
“How is a baseball team like a pancake?”/“They both need a good batter!”
The term "batter" is the subject of several baseball and pancake riddles. "Q. How is a baseball game like a pancake? A. They both need a good batter!" was printed in the Battle…
“How is hunting a sport when the other team doesn’t know they’re playing?”
Is hunting a sport? "How is hunting a sport when one of the participants does not know they are participating?" was posted on the newsgroup rec.sport.golf on August 1, 2004. "How is…
“How many bathroom-window curtains must die needlessly to clothe golfers?”
Some people in sports -- especially golfers -- are known to be terrible dressers. "How many more bathroom-window curtains must die needlessly to clothe golfers?" was credited to Mike…
“How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“FORE!”
A golf version of the popular lightbulb joke is: Q: How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: FORE! The riddle was posted on the newsgroup eunet.jokes om September 5, 1994. Golfers…
“How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“FOUR, but they wrote three.”
A golf version of the popular lightbulb joke is: Q: How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: FORE! The riddle was posted on the newsgroup eunet.jokes om September 5, 1994. Golfers…
“How many NCAA players does it take to change a light bulb?” (joke)
A joke about college athletes is: Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?A: One. But he gets nine credits, $3,000, and a new car for it. The joke was posted on the…
“How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?”/“They’re playing the switch.”
A Nintendo Switch riddle was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on August 5, 2020: Q: How many Nintendo fans does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Who knows? They’re all too busy playing with the switch.…
“How many sides does a ball have?”/“Two—the inside and the outside.”
A classic riddle is: Q: How many sides does a ball have?A: Two -- the inside and the outside. "How many sides has a tree?" was a question asked in many newspapers in 1851. "How many…
“I (Babe Ruth) had a better year than he (President Hoover) did”
New York Yankee slugger Babe Ruth (1855-1948) was negotiating a new contract with the team during the start of the Great Depression. Yankee ownership believed that Ruth was asking for too much…