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February 27, 2017
Food/Drink

“How do elves eat their pancakes?”/“In short stacks.”

A pancake riddle is: Q: How do elves/leprechauns eat their pancakes?A: In short stacks. The joke was posted on Twitter on June 5, 2015. TwitterMario Alberto Chavez‏@Supremekingj24How do elves eat…

December 15, 2017
Holidays/Events/Parades

“How do fish celebrate Christmas?”/“By hanging reefs on the door.”

A Christmas riddle is: Q: How do fish celebrate Christmas?A: By hanging reefs on the door. The reefs/wreaths pun has been cited in print since at least 2004. Google BooksCrazy Christmas JokesBy…

November 9, 2020
Food/Drink

“How do fish lose weight?”/“They Swim-fast.”

A riddle based on SlimFast dietary supplement foods is: Q: How do fish lose weight?A: They Swim-fast. "How do fish lose weight? Swimfast" was posted on Twitter by Natasha on July 10,…

June 17, 2022
Work/Businesses

“How do fishermen get jobs?”/“Networking.”

A fishermen riddle is: Q: How do fishermen get jobs?A: Networking. The pun is that a fisherman's "networking" also involves working with nets. The joke was posted on Reddit --…

November 22, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“How do flags greet each other on a windy day?”/“They wave.”

"How do flags talk to each other, they dont, they just wave!" is a flag riddle that was posted on Twitter on July 9, 2010. "Q: How do flags communicate? A: They wave!…

January 15, 2018
Food/Drink

“How do German breads greet each other?/“By saying ‘Gluten Tag!’”

"Guten Tag!" is German for "Good day!" A popular food pun is "Gluten Tag!" "Was talking with Toby today about opening a bakery with an emphasis on central &…

October 31, 2016
Food/Drink

“How do ghosts like their eggs?”/“Terri-fried.”

A popular Halloween ghost riddle about eggs is: Q: How do ghosts like their eggs?A: Terri-fried. The joke was printed in Boys' Life magazine in February 1985. Google BooksFebruary 1985,…

August 21, 2021
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“How do ghosts obtain money?”/“Via a polterheist.”

"Polterheist" (poltergeist + heist) is a made-up word that is used in jokes. The movie Poltergeist (1982) popularized the title word. "Idea for a film: 'Polterheist' George…

January 28, 2021
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“How do hedge fund workers jerk off?”/“They give it a short squeeze.”

The GameStop short squeeze resulted in this riddle on Reddit -- Jokes on January 28, 2021: Q: How do hedge fund workers jerk off?A: They give it a short squeeze. "How do hedge fund workers…

January 28, 2021
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“How do hedge fund workers masturbate?”/“They give it a short squeeze.”

The GameStop short squeeze resulted in this riddle on Reddit -- Jokes on January 28, 2021: Q: How do hedge fund workers jerk off?A: They give it a short squeeze. "How do hedge fund workers…

April 9, 2018
Sports/Games

“How do hens encourage their football teams?”/“They egg them on.”

A hen riddle is: Q: How do hens encourage their football teams?A: They egg them on. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2001. 20 May 2001, Sunday Telegraph (Surry Hills, New South…

September 3, 2015
Food/Drink

“How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake”

"How do I like my eggs? Umm, in a cake?" is a jocular line that has been printed on posters and coffee mugs. "I like my eggs...in a cake" was cited on Twitter on April 21, 2010.…

February 8, 2019
Food/Drink

“How do I stop eating chips and salsa? Do they run out…or do I die…or what?”

"How do I stop eating chips and salsa? Do they run out...or do I die...or what?" is a jocular food saying that has been printed on many images. "How do I stop eating chips and salsa…

February 28, 2022
Food/Drink

“How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very seriously”

"How do I take my coffee? Seriously. Very seriously" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. The question intended an answer such as "with cream" or "with…

February 25, 2023
Time/Weather

“How do I tell time when clocks have no ears?”

When you "tell time" you're not speaking to time, but there are jokes. "How do I tell time when clocks have no ears?" was posted on Reddit -- Shittyaskscience on March 7,…

April 4, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“How do Indian restaurants stay open without their naan essential staff?”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic caused many workers deemed "non-essential" to stay at home. This has nothing to do with "naan" (bread), but there are jokes. "Can't…

April 20, 2023
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“How do KFC get their popcorn chicken so shiny?”/“They use Kernel Sanders.”

A chicken riddle is: Q: Who invented popcorn chicken?A: Kernel Sanders. KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) was founded by Colonel Harland David Sanders (1890-1980). "Colonel" sounds like…

April 20, 2023
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“How do KFC get their popcorn chicken so smooth?”/“They use Kernel Sanders.”

A chicken riddle is: Q: Who invented popcorn chicken?A: Kernel Sanders. KFC (Kentucky Fried Chicken) was founded by Colonel Harland David Sanders (1890-1980). "Colonel" sounds like…

July 5, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“How do knights communicate?”/“Chain mail.”

"Chain mail" (amour) shouldn't be confused with postal service mail or email, but there is a riddle: Q: How do knights communicate?A: Chain mail. The joke was posted on Twitter by…

October 18, 2017
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?”/“You can almost hear them.”

A clarinet riddle is: Q: How do know a clarinet player is playing loud?A: You can almost hear them. The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. Klosi JokesCategory: Music jokesDate Added:…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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