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April 22, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Yes. I’d like to report some people not living in fear”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic had some governments reward snitches -- reporting on people leaving their homes to go outside, people not social distancing six feet away, people not wearing face…

February 21, 2018
Work/Businesses

“Yesterday I did nothing and today I’m finishing what I did yesterday”

"Yesterday I did nothing and today I'm finishing what I did yesterday" is a jocular work -- or non-work -- saying that has been printed on many images. "Yesterday I didn't…

August 2, 2021
Food/Drink

“Yesterday I wanted coffee. Now I’m drinking coffee. Follow your dreams, people”

"Last night, I wanted to drink coffee. This morning, I am drinking coffee. Follow your dreams, people!" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images. "This morning I felt…

June 20, 2009
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note”

Art Rust., Jr. signed off his WABC (New York City) sports talk radio show with: "Yesterday is a canceled check. Tomorrow is just a promissory note. Today is the only time we have so spend it…

January 31, 2017
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester”

"Gesture" sounds a bit like "jester," and there's a pun that has been printed on GIFs: "Yesterday, a clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice…

June 25, 2024
Food/Drink

“Yesterday, someone told me that I look good with a salt-and-pepper beard. I took that as a condiment”

“He said, ‘You remind me of a pepper pot.’ I said, ‘I’ll take that as a condiment’” is a joke that has been told by many British comedians. There are other condiment variations.…

July 5, 2018
Work/Businesses

“Yesterday’s eyeliner can be today’s smokey eye if you just believe in yourself”

"Yesterday's eyeliner can be today's smokey eye if you just believe in yourself" is an inspirational saying that has been printed on many images. "Yesterday's eyeliner…

January 8, 2020
Food/Drink

“Yesterday’s meatloaf is tomorrow’s sloppy joe”

What goes into that sloppy joe sandwich? "Yesterday's meatloaf is tomorrow's sloppy joe" was posted on Twitter by Autumn Woods on May 31, 2009. "Todays meatloaf,…

July 24, 2016
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?” (joke)

A finance-themed pick-up line is: "Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest." The joke was posted by…

July 28, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Yo mama is like groceries during a pandemic—available for curbside pickup”

The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak resulted in many restaurants and food stores opening only for curbside pickup. This situation has been used on a "yo mama" insult joke. “yo mama was…

May 4, 2018
Education/Schools

“Yo mama is so dark, she went to night school and was marked absent”

A popular "yo mama" insult "so dark" joke is: "Yo mama is so dark, she went to night school and was marked absent." The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on…

June 22, 2016
Work/Businesses

“Yo mama is so dumb, she passed by the YMCA and said hey, they spelled MACYs wrong”

Macy's department store has been mentioned in a "yo mama" insult joke: "Yo mama is so stupid that when she walks by the YMCA she says, 'hey look, they spelled MACY's…

June 25, 2016
Streets

“Yo mama is so dumb, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball”

Parking meters -- at least the old ones -- accept quarters, and there's a "yo mama" insult joke: "Yo mama's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a…

July 1, 2016
Food/Drink

“Yo mama is so dumb, she uses Old Spice for cooking”

Old SPice is the name of an American brand of male grooming products> It's not a spice, but there's a "yo mama" insult joke: "Yo mama is so dumb, she uses Old Spice for…

August 5, 2019
Food/Drink

“Yo mama is so fat, her alphabet starts with O. OBCD”

"OBCD" sounds like "obesity." "OBCD" weas entered in the Urban Dictionary on April 7, 2011. "OBCD" should not be confused with "OCD"…

April 20, 2017
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“Yo mama is so fat, people jog around her for exercise”

A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, people jog around her for exercise." The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on September 7, 1994.…

March 1, 2022
Food/Drink

“Yo mama is so fat, she eats Wheat Thicks”

Wheat Thins is a brand of baked whole grain snack food crackers. "Wheat Thicks" doesn't exist, but there are jokes. "Yo momma so fat she eats Wheat Thicks" was posted on…

April 20, 2017
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Yo mama is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and says, `OK!’”

Can a fat person eat everything on a restaurant's menu? A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, she goes to a restaurant, looks at the menu and…

September 10, 2017
Food/Drink

“Yo mama is so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops”

A popular "yo mama" insult "fat joke" is: "Yo mama is so fat, she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops." The joke has been cited in print since at least…

March 16, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Yo mama is so fat, the government cancelled her for being a mass gathering”

The 2019–20 coronavirus outbreak cancelled many mass gatherings and caused people to "social distance" themselves. A "yo mama" insult "fat joke" was posted on…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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