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February 1, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things…”

The bald eagle is the national bird of the United States. This was posted on Twitter by Jamie Woodham on September 29, 2014: "Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all…

January 10, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why would I argue with an antivaxxer when I can just wait”

The COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in vaccines; some people thought these vaccines would kill the virus, while others thought that the vaccines themselves were more dangerous. "Why…

September 28, 2025
Food/DrinkRestaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can pay $86 for our family to pick them ourselves?”

Why spend a small amount to purchase a bag of apples at the store when you can spend a larger amount to pick them yourself? "Why would I spend $5 on a bag of apples at the store when I can…

May 7, 2025
Food/Drink

“Why would you add cucumber to anything, it’s like ‘how would you like the food you want only more wet’”

Cucumbers contain a lot of water. This was posted on X/Twitter by jonny sun on September 4, 2019: "why would you add cucumber to anything, its like 'how would you like the food you want…

May 4, 2018
Transportation

“Why would you take a car door to the desert?”/“If you get hot, you can roll the window down.”

A car riddle is: Q: Why would you take a car door to the desert?A: If you get hot, you can roll the window down. The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.humor on January 9, 1997. Different groups…

December 10, 2016
Art/Sculpture

“Why wouldn’t the Statue of Liberty work in France?”/“Because she has only one arm raised.”

The French have been the subject of many jokes about military surrender and have even been called "cheese-eating surrender monkeys." The French gave New York City the Statue of Liberty,…

February 23, 2017
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?”

"Why, in a country of free speech, are there phone bills?" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. The one-liner was posted to the newsgroup rec.humor on…

October 23, 2020
Food/Drink

“Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things…”

"Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee. But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants" is a coffee saying that has been printed on many images.…

November 7, 2025
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Why’d they call it Burger King when they could have just called it ‘Excaliburger’”

Burger King (a fast food restaurant chain) has nothing to do with King Arthur and his mythical sword "Excalibur," but there are some "Excaliburger" jokes. "quickly! to the…

September 4, 2022
Food/Drink

“Why’s it customary for a woman to cook in a marriage?”/“By law, you have to feed the prisoner.”

A marriage joke (usually stated as a conversation between father and child) was posted on Twitter by Cymru on March 24, 2022: "(Child -- ed.) Why is it customary for the woman to cook in a…

December 29, 2021
Food/Drink

“Why’s the bow-tie pasta afraid to jump off a cliff?”/“Because it’s a Farfalle.”

"Farfalle" (also called "bow-tie pasta" and "butterfly pasta") can sound like "far fall," and there are jokes. "Why's the bow-tie pasta afraid to…

January 9, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Why’s a graveyard the safest place in quarantine?”/“Everybody’s 6 feet away.”

The 2020 COVID-19 (coronavirus) pandemic resulted in six feet social distancing requirements. "Six feet" often refers to how deep a person is buried in a cemetery. "This place is…

January 21, 2021
Work/Businesses

“Wife and I exchanged Valentine’s Day cards at the store. Then we put them back on the rack”

"The wife and I exchanged Valentine's Day cards at the store. Then we put them back on the rack...DONE!" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying -- in…

February 14, 2017
Food/Drink

“Wife has left me because of my fetish with touching pasta. I’m feeling cannelloni right now”

"Cannelloni" pasta sounds like "kind of lonely." A popular pun is: "Wife has left me because of my fetish with touching pasta. I'm feeling cannelloni right now."…

July 30, 2020
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food Stores

“Wife: Can you pick up milk?” (joke)

A request to "pick up" an item from the store means to get it from the store. It does not mean to literally pick up the item, but there are jokes. This was posted on Twitter by…

April 26, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Wife: Did I get fat during quarantine?” (joke)

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in quarantines. A marital joke combined with a coronavirus joke was posted by Michael Nichols (and others) on Facebook on April 25, 2020: "Wife: did…

February 19, 2023
Food/Drink

“Wild Turkey is my spirit animal”

"My spirit animal is Grey Goose" (a brand of vodka) is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "My spirit animal is Grey Goose" was posted on Twitter by…

August 16, 2016
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Will—A dead giveaway”

A "dead giveaway" is something that reveals a fact or an intention. A pun on the "dead giveaway" term was cited in print in 1908: "A man's last will is a dead…

July 13, 2018
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Will I be able to play the banjo after surgery?” (joke)

AN old joke has a patient ask his doctor, “Will I be able to play the piano after the operation?” The doctor assures him "yes," and the patient says, "That's great! I was…

February 4, 2015
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“Will I be able to play the piano after the operation?” (joke)

A popular piano joke has a patient ask a doctor, "Will I be able to play the piano after the operation?" "Certainly," the doctor replies. "That's great! I wan't…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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