"When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A dog is…
"Earbuds" have nothing to do with "buds" or "buddies," but there are jokes. "I hate earbuds. They never stay in my ears. Punks! More like earenemies." was…
"If your girl starts to workout out of nowhere, you're about to be single" is a saying that has been printed on many images. It means that she wants to look good to find another man…
"He's/She's a keeper" means that he/she is relationship and/or marriage material. Or, he/she could just be a beekeeper. "If he comes home wearing an enormous white suit and…
American professional golfer Sam Snead (1912-2002) gave this advice to golf widows in September 1974: "When your husband comes home with cockleburrs in the cuffs of his pants, don't ask…
"Don't stand in their way" usually means don't oppose, but a joke takes this literally. "Our friend, E. J. Canada, over in Luther, says that if your wife wants to learn to…
"When your legs are/get tired, run with your heart" is a popular saying that has been printed on many posters. "When your legs burn, run with your heart" was cited on Twitter in…
Political consultant James Carville explained a favored phrase in his book All's Fair (1995): "When your opponent is drowning, throw the son of a bitch an anvil. — the CEO of a large…
"When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt" is a popular work saying that has been printed on many images. The saying was printed in an April 11, 1947 Richmond (VA)…
"When YouTube plays an unskippable ad but you look away so they don't win" (shown with a picture of a person looking away from a screen) has been printed on many images. this image…
Waiters ask how a diner would like a steak to be cooked, such as "rare" or "medium" or "well done." A joke on this was published by John Wagner’s Maxine comic…
"I tend to duck my head a little when I pull into the airport-parking garage so I don't hit my head" was printed in the book Women Fly (2001) by Martha Dreskin. "Today, I…
The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in many cancellations. Many people quarantined at home. "Whenever I get asked to do something I don’t want to do I just answer 'in a…
"Whenever I go running, I meet new people...like paramedics" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. "EVERY TIME I JOG, I MEET NEW PEOPLE. OF COURSE, THEY'RE…
Many forms ask who to call in case of an emergency. "Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency. I think you should write, 'An…
"Whenever I hear the phrase 'Power of Attorney' I always imagine someone being bitten by a radioactive lawyer" is a joke that was posted on Twitter by JerryThomas on June 24,…
"Whenever I say the word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate" (or "Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise' I wash my mouth out with chocolate"…
"Aloe vera" (a plant species) can sound like "Hello, Vera" (or "Allo, Vera"), and there are jokes. "hehehe... english speaking people saying Aloë Vera... sounds…
"Whenever I see a commercial with a woman looking fully relaxed in a tub with cucumber slices on her eyes, I wonder where the rest of it is" is a jocular saying that was posted on Twitter…
A joke about "keep off the grass" signs is: "Whenever I see a sign saying 'keep off the grass', I often wonder how it got there." That is, someone must have walked on…