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January 13, 2026
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresWork/Businesses

“Whenever I see an iPad at a cash register, I know that I’m about to tip for something I never had to tip for before”

Many people go to a drive-thru at a place like Starbucks and are confronted with an iPad, and the question of what amount they want to tip. This was posted on X/Twitter by Bobby C on April 1, 2022,…

August 27, 2021
Food/Drink

“Whenever I see other people pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway, I’m like okay…”

"I always see adults pour a glass of wine and only fill it halfway and I’m like okay one of us is doing it wrong and I think it’s you" and "Sometimes I see people pour a glass of…

June 24, 2017
Food/Drink

“Whenever I want a Klondike bar, I just pay for it”

A Klondike bar is an ice cream bar coated with a thin layer of chocolate. "What would you do for a Klondike bar?" is a memorable ad jingle that began in 1982. "When I want a Klondike…

July 18, 2025
Exercise/Running/Health Clubs

“Whenever I’m feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my chins up”

"Keep your chin up!" means to stay hopeful during difficult times. Fat people often have double chins. "Whenever I'm feeling fat, I try not to stress about it and just keep my…

July 7, 2017
Food/Drink

“Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong”

"Whenever my wife packs me salad for lunch, all I wanna know is what I did wrong" is a jocular line from someone who wants something more filling than salad. The saying was posted on…

June 12, 2024
Work/Businesses

“Whenever there’s a fire drill at IKEA everyone has to assemble outside”

IKEA sells furniture that usually requires assembly. "Whenever there’s a fire drill at IKEA everyone has to assemble outside" was posted on X/Twitter by Moose Allain Ꙭ on November 7,…

September 4, 2009
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Whenever you don’t know who the loser is in a transaction, then the loser is you”

"If you're at a poker table and you don't see a sucker, it's you." This gambling saying dates to at least 1982 and was possibly coined by Amarillo Slim Preston, a…

April 2, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Whenever you give the government the power to disarm the mentally ill, you give the government…”

Many people argue that the mentally ill shouldn't own guns, so gun owners should submit to psychological examination. This was posted on Twitter by Libertarian Party on March 28, 2023:…

May 8, 2016
Work/Businesses

“Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision”

"Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision," American management consultant Peter Drucker (1909-2005) said in 1962. The quotation has been cited in…

November 19, 2024
Food/Drink

“Whenever you see the words ‘fat-free’ or ‘low-fat,’ think of the words ‘chemical shit storm’”

"Whenever you see the words 'fat-free' or 'low-fat,' think of the words 'chemical shit storm'" is a saying that has been printed on many images.…

May 7, 2006
Transportation

“Where America Greets the World” (JFK Airport)

"Where America Greets the World" is the new slogan for JFK Airport. The slogan was made for JFK's 50th anniversary in 1998. Wikipedia: John F. Kennedy International AirportJohn F.…

June 8, 2016
Work/Businesses

“Where are average things built?”/“In the satisfactory.”

A pun about the words "factory" and "satisfactory" is: Q: Where are average things built?A: In the satisfactory. "Where are average things manufactured? The…

June 21, 2020
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“Where are dead computer hackers buried?”/“In decrypt.”

A computer riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 21, 2020: Q: Where are dead computer hackers buried?A: In decrypt. "Decrypt" is a pun on "the crypt" and…

March 20, 2018
Education/Schools

“Where are mathematicians buried?”/“The symmetry.”

A math riddle is: Q: Where are mathematicians buried?A: The symmetry. "Symmetry" sounds like "cemetery." The joke has been cited in print since at least 2007. tesMy favourite…

January 8, 2006
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“Where are the customers’ yachts?”

"Where are the customers' yachts?" is a question asked by someone who saw only brokers' yachts at a yacht club. It's an old Wall Street remark. 29 October 1885, Forest and…

March 14, 2024
Restaurants/Bars/Coffeehouses/Food StoresTime/Weather

“Where are you celebrating the Ides of March?”/“Little Caesars!”

March 15th (the middle of the month) is called the Ides of March. Roman general and statesman Julius Caesar was assassinated on March 15, 44 B.C. Little Caesars is an American multinational chain…

December 19, 2017
Food/Drink

“Where can a burger get a great night’s sleep?”/“On a bed of lettuce.”

A hamburger riddle is: Q: Where can a burger get a great night's sleep? A: On a bed of lettuce! The joke was printed in the book One Hundred and One Hamburger Jokes (1978) by Phil Hirsch.…

July 23, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“Where can I buy a face mask that doesn’t smell like bad breath?”

The 2019–20 coronavirus pandemic resulted in some requirements to wear face masks. "Can I find just one mask that doesn’t smell like bad breath?" was posted on Twitter by Padraic…

May 5, 2023
Food/Drink

“Where can I buy seeds to plant a beer garden?”

The word "garden" usually evokes images of plants, such as tomato plants. A garden usually doesn't grow beer. "Where do you get the seeds to start a beer garden?" was…

July 30, 2026
Food/Drink

“Where can I get Lini beans from? The recipe says use a can o’ Lini beans”

Cannellini beans are white kidney beans. A joke has "Cannellini beans" as "can of Lini beans." "Turns out there are no such thing as 'Lini beans.' I read the…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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