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February 5, 2018
Buildings/Housing/Parks

“What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?”/“Find the nearest skyscraper.”

Skyscrapers don't actually reach the clouds, but they are still very tall buildings. A riddle has been printed on an image: Q: What does a cloud with an itchy rash do?A: Find the nearest…

February 22, 2022
Media/Newspapers/Magazines/Internet

“What does a computer frog say?”/“Reboot, reboot, reboot.”

A computer riddle is: Q: What does a computer frog say?A: Reboot, reboot, reboot. That is instead of the frog's usual "ribbit, ribbit, ribbit." The riddle was posted on the newsgroup…

June 11, 2020
Food/Drink

“What does a condiment wizard perform?”/“Saucery.”

"Sorcery" should not be confused with "saucery," but there are jokes. This riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on June 9, 2020: Q: What does a condiment wizard perform?A:…

February 8, 2018
Transportation

“What does a cow ride when his car is broken?”/“A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.”

A cow riddle has been cited in print since at least 2007: Q: What does a cow ride when his car is broken? A: A COW-askai MOO-torcycle. The Kawasaki motorcycle pun has been cited in print since at…

January 15, 2026
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What does a Democrat have to do to get arrested in this country?”

"WHAT DOES A POLITICIAN HAVE TO DO TO GET ARRESTED IN THIS COUNTRY?" (shown on an image) was posted on X/Twitter by Sheri Unfiltered™ on January 1, 2026, and this received over 12,000…

January 11, 2022
Banking/Finance/Insurance

“What does a dollar bill say to another?”/“Never change.”

A money riddle was posted on Reddit -- Dadjokes on January 11, 2022: Q: What does a dollar bill say to another?A: "Never change." Reddit -- DadjokesPosted by u/Khaos_Gorvin January 11,…

December 22, 2020
Food/Drink

“What does a dolphin bake with?”/“All porpoise flour.”

"All-purpose flour" (also called "AP flour") can be used for baking many things, although professional bakers usually use other flours. "Purpose" should not be…

June 9, 2018
Music/Dance/Theatre/Film/Circus

“What does a drummer use for contraception?”/” His personality.”

A drummer riddle is: Q: What does a drummer use for contraception?A: His personality! The joke was posted on the newsgroup rec.music.christian on February 7, 1996. Google Groups:…

May 9, 2023
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What does a dyslexic racist hate the most?”/“Gingers.”

"When I first discovered anti Ginger sentiment in the UK I thought maybe they were just dyslexic racists... #thingsithinkaboutwhenimhomesick" was posted on Twitter by "THAT BEING…

September 16, 2017
Food/Drink

“What does a fart from a hard-core milk drinker smell like?”/“Dairy-air.”

"Derrière" sounds like "dairy air." A milk joke was posted on Reddit -- Puns on August 23, 2017: Q: What does a fart from a hard-core milk drinker smell like?A: Dairy-air. A…

October 21, 2016
Education/Schools

“What does a fat cow give you?”/“Homework!”

Are elementary school teachers fat? A popular joke goes: Teacher: If a chicken gives you meat and a pig gives you bacon, what does a fat cow give you?Stuident: Homework! The joke was cited on…

February 14, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens?  Anything it wants”

"What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything/Whatever it wants" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed in many images, usually with a picture of Cuban…

May 7, 2020
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Whatever it wants”

"What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything/Whatever it wants" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed in many images, usually with a picture of Cuban…

February 14, 2021
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What does a government do, once it has disarmed its populace? Anything it wants”

"What does a government do once it has disarmed its citizens? Anything/Whatever it wants" is a pro-gun saying that has been printed in many images, usually with a picture of Cuban…

August 1, 2009
Food/Drink

“What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?”/“Reservations!”

"King of the one-liners" Henny Youngman (1906-1998) told many jokes about his wife, such as "Take my wife -- please!" In 1981, Youngman said this about his wife's cooking:…

July 25, 2023
Food/Drink

“What does a Jewish pescatarian say at breakfast time on the day of atonement? ‘Yum, kipper.’”

Yom Kippur (the Jewish Day of Atonement) shouldn't be confused with kipper (a fish that is often eaten for breakfast), but there are jokes. "Celebrating this Jewish holiday with a fish…

September 20, 2017
Transportation

“What does a Jewish pirate say?”/“Ahoy vey!”

A Jewish riddle -- and a pirate riddle -- is: Q: What does a Jewish pirate say?A: Ahoy vey! "Ahoy vey" (oy vey + ahoy) was posted on the newsgroup soc.culture.jewish.parenting on January…

June 5, 2016
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?”/“Taller.”

Some people think that lawyer are "dicks," and there's a joke: Q: What happens when a lawyer takes Viagra?A: He gets taller. The lawyer joke has been cited in print since at least…

May 28, 2019
Food/Drink

“What does a nosey pepper do?”/“It gets jalapeño business!”

"Jalapeño business" sounds like "all up in your business," and there's a joke: Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?A: Jalapeño business! The joke has been cited since at…

July 10, 2016
Food/Drink

“What does a nosy pepper do?”/“It gets jalapeño business.”

"Jalapeño business" sounds like "all up in your business," and there's a joke: Q: What do you call a nosy pepper?A: Jalapeño business! The joke has been cited since at…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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