“An acid and a base walk into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A chemistry version is: "An acid and a base walk into a bar. The police later arrested…
“An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise”
"An acre of performance is worth a whole world of promise" is an old English proverb. English Elizabethan pamphleteer Thomas Nashe (1567-1601) wrote in 1596: "One acre of…
“An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body”
"An active mind cannot exist in an inactive body" is a quotation that is usually attributed to U.S. General George S. Patton (1885-1945). It is not known with any certainty that Patton…
“An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut”
American drama critic and author George Jean Nathan (1882-1958) wrote in Encyclopædia of the Theatre (1940): "An actor without a playwright is like a hole without a doughnut." In other…
“An actuary is a someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn’t have the personality for it”
"An actuary is a someone who wanted to be an accountant, but didn't have the personality for it" is an old joke about the actuarial profession. The reverse is also told: "An…
“An advertising agency is 85 per cent confusion and 15 per cent commission”
Comedian Fred Allen (1894-1956) wrote in Treadmill to Oblivion (1954): "To me, an advertising agency is 85 per cent confusion and 15 per cent commission." The quotation has been…
“An after-dinner speech—‘Check, please’”
"Check, please!" is what a restaurant diner tells a waiter or waitress. The diner is finished eating and wants to pay for the meal. "Check, please" was printed in The…
“An air mattress is great when you want to sleep on the floor, but not right away”
Some people find that sleeping on an air mattress is not much better than sleeping on the floor. This was posted on Twitter by cap’n watsisname on July 25, 2021, and received about 75,000 likes:…
“An airplane doesn’t make money sitting on the ground” (airline adage)
"An airplane doesn't make money sitting on the ground" is an adage of the airline industry. A plane might stop at the JFK or LaGuardia airports, but the sooner it's back in the…
“An alcoholic is someone who drinks more than his doctor”
"An alcoholic is someone who drinks more than his doctor" is an old joke; to many, however, the drinking habit of doctors is no laughing matter. Dr. Joyce Brothers wrote in 1965: "At…
“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do”
"An alcoholic is someone you don't like who drinks as much as you do" is a drinking saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "LATEST DEFINITION of an…
“An allusion walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An allusion version is: "An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol…
“An alpaca had a parasite removed from around its mouth. It was alpaca lip tick”
"Apocalyptic" shouldn't be confused with "alpaca lip tick," but there are jokes. "—Have you seen that film about what happened after the alpaca had a parasite…
“An amateur photographer worries about equipment…” (photography aphorism)
Entry in progress -- B.P, photo.netWhat do you worry about the most?Robert McCurley , Apr 08, 2005; 09:44 a.m.This quote was posted by a fellow member in my camera club's forum ...The Amateur…
“An amnesiac walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A popular version includes a variation of a classic pick-up line: "An amnesiac walks…
“An anagramist walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." A anagramist version is: "An anagramist walks into a bar, and the bartender says,…
“An anteater walks into a bar…” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." Anteaters have long noses, and there are three joke versions. "Also...an anteater…
“An anti-Semite is someone who hates Jews more than is strictly necessary”
A Jewish "joke" is that everyone hates the Jews, but that an anti-Semite is someone who hate the Jews more than is absolutely necessary. The saying was printed in the essay "What Can…
“An apology is a promise to do things differently next time, and to keep the promise”
"An apology is a promise to do things differently next time, and to keep the promise" is a saying that has been printed on several images. The apology saying comes from Hunter × Hunter,…
“An aposiopesis walks into a—” (bar joke)
"A guy walks into a bar..." is a typical form of what has been called the "bar joke." An aposiopesis version is: "So, an aposiopesis walks into a——but I’d best not…