“If it weren’t for court dates, I wouldn’t be dating at all”
Having a court date isn't really "dating," but a joke was posted on Reddit -- Oneliners on October 25, 2018: "If it weren't for court dates, I wouldn't be dating at…
“If it weren’t for dogs, some people would never go for a walk”
Many people get exercise only when they walk their dogs. "If it weren't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk" is a saying that was printed in a 1968 book and a 1977…
“If it weren’t for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I’d never get any exercise at all”
"Spring Forward, Fall Back" is how people set clocks, but there is a joke: "If it weren't for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I'd never get any exercise at all."…
“If it weren’t for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I’d never get any exercise at all”
"Spring Forward, Fall Back" is how people set clocks, but there is a joke: "If it weren't for Spring Forward and Fall Back, I'd never get any exercise at all."…
“If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever”
"If it wasn't/weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever" is a saying that has been printed on many images. David Letterman, host of…
“If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done”
"If it wasn't/weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many gift items, such as posters, mugs and T-shirts. "If it…
“If it worked and was safe, you wouldn’t need to mandate, force, deceive or threaten…”
"If it worked and was safe, you wouldn’t need to mandate, force, deceive or threaten those who question it" is a saying that has been printed on many images. the saying usually refers…
“If it’s being blocked, banned, hidden, censored, deleted, or ignored…it’s worth looking into”
"If it's being blocked, banned, hidden, censored, deleted, or ignored...it's worth looking into" is a saying that has been printed on many images. "IF IT'S BEING…
“If it’s brown, it’s down” (hunting adage)
"If it's brown, it's down" is a hunting saying that's especially popular when deer hunting season opens. "If it's brown, it's down" has been cited in…
“If it’s far away, it’s news. If it’s close at home, it’s sociology”
American journalist James Reston (1909-1995), then Washington bureau chief of the New York (NY) Times, spoke at the 50th anniversary of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism in…
“If it’s free, it’s advice; if you pay for it, it’s counseling”
"If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counseling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle" is a jocular line of uncertain authorship. The saying was…
“If it’s free, it’s for me”
Retailers know that consumers love free stuff. "If it's free, it's for me" is a popular consumer saying. "If it's free, it's for me" has been cited in print…
“If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way: if not, you’ll find an excuse”
"If it's important to you, you'll find a way: if not, you'll find an excuse" has been printed on many posters. The saying is often credited to American motivational speaker…
“If it’s in stock, we have it” (store sign)
"If it's in stock, we have it" is a jocular store saying that has been printed on many images. "If it's in stock we have it, and if we ain't got it, you don't…
“If it’s low, let it go; if it’s high, let if fly” (hitting a knuckleball)
"If it's low, let it go; if it's high, let if fly" is advice on hitting the knuckle ball. If the ball is low, it often sinks into the dirt. "'If it's low, let it…
“If it’s not Boeing, I’m not going”
Boeing is an aircraft manufacturing company with corporate headquarters in Chicago, Illinois. "If It's Not Boeing, I'm Not Going" is a slogan that Boeing itself has promoted…
“If it’s not Valentine’s Day and you see a man in a flower shop, ask ‘What did you do?’”
A popular joke about Valentine's Day is: "If it is not Valentine’s day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you…
“If it’s not voluntary, it’s tyranny”
"If it's not voluntary, it's tyranny" is a political saying that has been printed on many images. Authorship is unknown. "If it's not voluntary, it's tyranny.…
“If it’s obvious, it’s obviously wrong”
"If it's obvious, it's obviously wrong" (or "the obvious is obviously wrong") is a popular stock market saying. If something is obvious to everyone (such as a bullish…
“If it’s stupid but works, it isn’t stupid”
"If it's stupid but (it) works, it isn't stupid" is one of "Murphy's Law of Combat" that was printed by David Evans in the Chicago (IL) Tribune in 1989; Evans…