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August 26, 2012
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

February 17, 2023
Food/Drink

“If at first you don’t succeed, drink whisky. You’ll be amazed at how much less you care”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

July 4, 2018
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, pay someone else to do it for you”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

August 30, 2012
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

May 22, 2024
Government/Law/Military/Religion /HealthWork/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, reward failure by throwing more money at it.—The Government”

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again” is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace “try, try again.” "If at first you…

August 25, 2012
Sports/Games

“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving isn’t for you”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

June 5, 2025
Food/DrinkWork/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, try a gin”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

September 15, 2012
Sports/Games

“If at first you don’t succeed, try left field” (baseball joke)

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

September 8, 2012
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, try management”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

January 3, 2017
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

June 5, 2025
Food/DrinkWork/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try a gin”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

July 15, 2017
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, we have a lot in common”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

August 27, 2012
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, you’re running about average”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

February 17, 2023
Work/Businesses

“If at first you don’t succeed, drink whiskey. You’ll be amazed how little you care”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem verse from the 1830s. The verse has many joke endings that replace "try, try again." "If at…

March 1, 2015
Food/Drink

“If at first you donut succeed, fry, fry again”

"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again" is a popular American poem from at least 1838. "If at first you donut succeed, try, try again" was cited on Twitter on May…

May 13, 2017
Food/Drink

“If athletes get athlete’s foot, what do candy makers get?”/“Tic Tac toe.”

A riddle about Tic Tac mints is: Q: If athletes get athlete's foot, what do candy makers get?A: Tic Tac toe. The joke was posted on Reddit -- Jokes on May 13, 2017. Similar jokes had been…

August 29, 2022
Government/Law/Military/Religion /Health

“If authoritarianism is on your side today, trust me, it won’t be tomorrow. #history”

"If authoritarianism is on your side today, trust me, it won't be tomorrow. #history" is a saying that has been printed on an image. "IF AUTHORITARIANISM IS ON YOUR SIDE TODAY,…

August 28, 2017
Food/Drink

“If avocado is a fruit, is guacamole jam?”

Guacamole is made with avocados. Some people have pointed out that an avocado is a fruit, so this means that guacamole is a jam. Jams are made with added sugar, however, and no one seriously…

September 5, 2018
Food/Drink

“If avocados and tomatoes are fruits, then guacamole is fruit salad”

Entry in progress -- B.P. Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsIf avocados and tomatoes are fruits, then guacamole is fruit salad.submitted February 17, 2017 by goatcoat Reddit -- Shower ThoughtsAvocados are…

January 15, 2025
Food/Drink

“If bacon cannot solve your problem, you didn’t use enough bacon”

"If bacon cannot solve your problem. You didn't use enough bacon" is a bacon saying that was posted on Facebook by Cure & Simple on March 14, 2018. “Bacon cannot solve all your…

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BARRY POPIK is a contributor to the Oxford English Dictionary, Dictionary of American Regional English, Historical Dictionary of American Slang, Yale Book of Quotations and Dictionary of Modern Proverbs. Since 1990 he has also been a regular contributor to Gerald Cohen's Comments on Etymology.

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