“I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste time at work”
Many people use Facebook at work to waste time. American comedian Jay Leno asked on television's The Tonight Show with Jay Leno on February 2, 2012: "What do Facebook employees do to…
“I wonder what the part of my brain that used to remember phone numbers is up to these days”
People used to remember phone numbers, but electronic devices now remember phone numbers. "The part of my brain that used to remember phone numbers is now filled with website passwords. I…
“I worked as a programmer for autocorrect, but they fried me for no raisin”
"I worked as a programmer for autocorrect but they fried me for no raisin" was posted on Twitter by Kurt Kleynhans (and another poster) on July 14, 2016. "I used to work as a…
“I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient”
"I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly" is a jocular saying (popular on social media) that has been printed on many…
“I would make a font joke, but I’m not bold enough”
“@iNusku: I want to make a font joke, but I'm just not bold enough" (the original tweet is no longer available) was posted on X/Twitter by Pkitass on May 24, 2011. "I would make a…
“I’d like to apologize to anyone I haven’t yet offended. Please be patient”
"I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly" is a jocular saying (popular on social media) that has been printed on many…
“I’d like to apologize to anyone I’ve not yet offended. Please be patient”
"I would like to apologize to anyone I have not yet offended. Please be patient. I will get to you shortly" is a jocular saying (popular on social media) that has been printed on many…
“I’d rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook”
"I would rather check my Facebook than face my checkbook" is a jocular one-line saying that has been printed on several images. "Would rather check my facebook than face my checkbook…
“I’ll slap you so hard even Google won’t be able to find you”
"I'll hit/slap you so hard even Google won't be able to find you" is a jocular one-line saying that had been printed on many images. Google is a popular search engine. The…
“I’ll vacuum the beach before I tell Facebook I’m in a relationship again”
"I'll vacuum the beach before I tell Facebook I'm in a relationship again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words -- never. "I’ll vacuum the…
“I’ll vacuum the beach before I tell social media I got a man again”
"I'll vacuum the beach before I tell Facebook I'm in a relationship again" is a saying that has been printed on many images. In other words -- never. "I’ll vacuum the…
“I’m a writer. Anything you say or do may be used in a story”
"I'm a writer. Anything you say or do may be used in a story" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. The saying parodies Miranda warnings ("You have the right…
“I’m a writer. If I seem cold, it’s because I’m surrounded by drafts”
"I'm a writer. If I seem cold, it's because I'm surrounded by drafts" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. A riddle was posted on BuzzFeed on December…
“I’m actually extremely grateful for all those who put their pronouns in their bio…”
Many politically correct "woke" people put pronouns in their bios. This was posted on X/Twitter by Kyle Kashuv on January 3, 2022: "im actually extremely grateful for all those who…
“I’m at that age where if you text me after 10 PM I’m texting back at 6 AM”
"I'm at the age where if you text me after 9PM I'm texting back at 4:36 AM" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Older people go to sleep early. "I'm at…
“I’m at the age where if you text me after 9PM I’m texting back at 4:36 AM”
"I'm at the age where if you text me after 9PM I'm texting back at 4:36 AM" is a saying that has been printed on many images. Older people go to sleep early. "I'm at…
“I’m at the point in life where the hottest text I get is: ‘Your prescription is ready for pick up’”
Texting can be romantic -- or not. "I'm at the point in life where the hottest text I get is: 'Your prescription is ready for pick up'" is a jocular saying that has been…
“I’m convinced 90% of the software on my computer doesn’t do anything except send me notifications”
There are many jokes about computer notifications. "90% of the software on my iPhone doesn't do anything except send me notifications that there's a new version of itself" was…
“I’m done correcting typos. From now on finger it out”
Some people don't have the time or the patience to correct typos. This was posted on Instagram by christy_smith_astrology on February 25, 2025, and it received over 43,900 likes:…
“I’m going off the grid” (said when not taking a phone to the bathroom)
Going "off the grid" means to be without technology, especially communications technology. Many people who didn't take their phones with them to the bathroom have joked about this.…