“If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t”
"If cats could text you back, they wouldn't" is a jocular line that has been printed on several images. The joke is that cats are self-centered and lazy. "If cats could text you…
“If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That’ll do them in”
"If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into committees. That'll do them in" is a jocular saying about committees that has been printed on many images. "If machines…
“If every book is a #1 New York Times best seller, which books are the number 2?”
The New York (NY) Times has a Book Review section, and it has had a weekly best seller list since October 12, 1931. There are many categories. For many people who buy books, it often seems that…
“If I blocked you on social media and you see me in public, the block still applies in real life”
"If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight…
“If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies”
"If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight…
“If I blocked you on social media and you see me in these streets, the block still applies”
"If I blocked you on social media and you see me in the streets, the block still applies in real life" is a jocular saying that has been printed on many images. There are several slight…
“If I could cure cancer, you’d say that I put doctors out of work” (bad press)
"If I (a politician) could cure cancer, you'd (the press would) say that I put doctors out of work" is a saying about someone who can never get honest press coverage, no matter what…
“If I could walk on water, you’d say that I can’t swim” (bad press)
Jesus walking on water is recorded in three of the Gospels of the New Testament. Walking on water (a miracle) is often compared to swimming (a normal activity). A joke circulated in 1945 that…
“If I haven’t offended you yet…. Look through my posts. That shit is in there somewhere”
"If I haven't offended you yet.... Look through my timeline.... that shit in there somewhere.... #stolenquote #Truth" was posted on Facebook by Daniel Chavez on November 18, 2015.…
“If I offended you, I apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read”
"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read" is a jocular social media apology that has been printed on many images. "If…
“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore corruption in the government”
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption”
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
“If I post something you don’t like, just ignore it like you ignore the corruption of the government”
"If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore government corruption" (or "If I post something you don't like, just ignore it like you ignore the…
“If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?
"Maybe if we email the Constitution to each other, the NSA would finally read it?" (or "If I put the Constitution in my emails, would the government start reading it?") is a…
“If I say goodnight & an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied it’s just that I failed”
"If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online it's not that I lied it's just that I failed" is a saying that was posted on Twitter by arty on August 28, 2018. Many…
“If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read”
"If I've offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly did not think you could read" is a jocular social media apology that has been printed on many images. "If…
“If it bleeds, it leads”
"If it bleeds, it leads" means that tabloid newspapers and radio/television news lead their news reports with sensationalist stories, such as violence. The saying "if it bleeds, it…
“If it burns, it earns”
"If it burns, it earns” means that tabloid newspapers and radio/television news lead their news reports with sensationalist stories, such as violence. The Crisis Papers published "If It…
“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck… Fact checkers say it’s a squirrel”
“If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, it’s a duck” is an old saying. "If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck....…
“If it succeeds, it leads”
"If it bleeds, it leads" has long been the rule in tabloid journalism, meaning that sensational stories (such as murders) are promoted on the front page. "If it succeeds, it…